The Chopping Block monthly review

Like a Donald trump tweet that has more fiction than fact, it’s that time again where the armchair critics take aim at the biggest duds and studs after the first month of NRL action.

Firstly, we take aim at those in need of a reality check after some average form since the season opener. These guys should be playing in front of either 118 hipsters at Henson Park sipping on cans of Young Henrys (sadly the old KB fans of yesteryear have disappeared along with the golden can of goodness).

Appearing highly confused when playing Manly’s feeder team at the Laybutt sports complex out Blacktown way. The Silvertails having a side at Blacktown, the Moose would be turning in his grave!

Michael Lichaa
The young Dogs hooker has not progressed at all since his much hyped signing from the Shire. The spine is clearly an issue for the Dogs and they can’t be any worse off than shifting Josh Reynolds into the No.9 role to have the opposition defence on high alert.

Given Reynolds’ penchant for not even knowing what he is going to do one play in advance, he looks more than capable of making a fair crack at the role. He may have a tough battle to kick his tripping habit in the defensive line, but in attack he can start tripping Aiden Tolman and James Graham if they get in his way!

It’s easy to target one scapegoat for an underperforming side, but the lack of direction needs a strong character that will ignore the front rowers trying to shuffle slow passes or take on the defence in the red zone. No questioning Lichaa’s defence but the lack of creative flair and the fact he is predictable is something Des and co. need to address.

Slotting young Brad Abbey into the six might be an option if Matt Frawley struggles with the pace or pressure in the top grade. Another option could be moving Mbye to the No.1. Plenty to ponder but something’s got to give at Belmore.

Charlie Gubb
Again we have signalled another scapegoat and this is tough call as the Gubbmeister is one of our favourite players. The problem we see with the Warriors current forward pack is a lack of size, pace and aggression. Chuck appears too slow for the back-row and a little light on for the front-row.

The Warriors possess too many players with the same qualities and someone needs a run in the undefeated ISP team. James Gavet’s fearless running and size coupled with Ben Matulino’s return means someone has to move on.

Bunty Afoa looks a future first grade stalwart in the back-row and offers pace and the ability to run good lines and score the odd try. Sam Lisone has some decent ball skills at the line and is a little quicker and bigger than the Gubbster.

Coach Kearney needs a little more size and pace in that pack to get some forward momentum that allows Luke and Johnson to get the stuttering attack going.

Another forward on notice would be Albert Vete, though he was dumped to the ISP last round. They need better go forward and fast before their season mirrors the previous 6.

Shaun Kenny-Dowall
Surely the Chooks must come to their senses and send SKD to a Virat Kohli catching clinic. They are purring along undefeated but surely the high error wait of the Kiwi back-packer must cause coach Robinson headaches every week.

With Blake Ferguson due back and young Joseph Manu looking more than a handy first grader the time could be up for SKD to spend a fair old stint with the Wyong Roos. Ray suspect’s it won’t happen as he is a popular figure within the team and adds more value with his experience and strong carries.

I’m of the opinion I’d rather keep hold of a Joseph Manu and someone needs to be tapped on the shoulder to look at future options. Flash Gordon will be replaced by Latrell Mitchell further down the track but with youngsters also shining in their under-20s last year, most notably RTS’ younger brother Johnny, SKD’s days at Bondi should and could be numbered.

He’d fit in over at the Warriors who are now chasing Kiwi international’s and his error rate would go under the radar given each three quarter averages 2.7 dropped balls per half!

The Footy Show
The gags, the mindless games, the head wobble, that’s gold, it’s all a little tiresome. Some of the new games appear to be similar to “album filler”, just killing the time before setting up the next segment.

Nine has a habit of keeping shows on well past their expiry date, Hey, Hey it’s Saturday, Days of our Lives, Mornings’ with Kerri Anne, any show featuring Eddie McGuire and ACA are a few that spring to mind. Ray mentioned Stingers but I had never heard of it or it’s main star Peter Phelps.

Point is how Paul ‘Fatty’ Vautin is still hosting a live TV show and hasn’t improved his skills reading from an auto-cue, should go down as one of the most remarkable achievements in television history. But that history needs to end and become archived sooner rather than later. The birth of a dedicated NRL footy channel on Fox should see rating’s dip for Fatty’s cash cow.

The usual jokes aimed at the Big Marn’s weight, the Beau Ryan segments which were once original and even humorous and the same guest hosts on time and time again, suggests it’s time is up. Sure they added Erin Molan and have females co-hosts, and credit where credit is due the Matty Johns show could take a leaf out of their rivals book, but Nine should wrap it up and start afresh.

If they want banter and humour take a leaf out of Channel 7’s AFL show which features noted comedian Mick Molloy, not ex-footballers who think they as comedic geniuses.

Getting into the highlights of the first month starting with Ray’s player of the opening month.

Paul ‘Fatty’ Vaughan. The ex-Raider and Gungahlin Bulls Junior has led the Dragons pack with his aggressive charges and is on the brink of receiving a life ban from the front-rowers club with his try scoring exploits.

He had a point to prove this year to the prickly little fella from the nation’s capital that let him go. Ray rates him higher than Shannon Boyd and Co. and thinks Sticky will regret letting go the highly under rated Italian international.

The improvement of the Roosters and Dragons has been another highlight. But teams recruited well and have key players in Mick Gordon, Luke Keary, Paul Vaughan and Cam McInnes strengthening key areas that were inconsistent last season.

It is early days and let’s not forget a few season’s back Kurt Gidley was interviewed claiming the Knights were set for a crack at the top four after being 4-0 before they ended the season in 16th place. But both these sides look to have the potential to be in the finals mix in 2017 after being absent in 2016.

The Melbourne Storm winning all four and winning a lot of times ugly. Again it proves it’s not how you win but more importantly you have that winning mentality and culture.

A prime example being the Canberra Raiders who could be three wins from 4. They have a lack of respect for completion rates and possession but aside from the Sharks flogging have been the more dominant side in all other games contested.

Imagine how hard they would be to beat with a Cronk or Smith calling the shots! Their weakness is patience and knowing when to tuck the ball under the wing and reel in the miracle ball.

An example of the Storm’s blueprint is Josh Addo-Carr. Always looked a player blessed with exceptional speed but error prone and a defensive liability at the Tigers. He looks a new player at the Storm and again highlights Craig Bellamy’s penchant for identifying bargain players from other clubs. Bellamy has a knack for getting the best out of their ability, improving their weaknesses and buying into the Storm culture.

Lastly big shout out to Yvonne Sampson who has been outstanding in her role at Fox. We are sure more hours are coming her way and she will be around for a long, long, Darryl Somers, Fatty Vautin, Kerri Anne Kennerley time on the idiot box!

So who’s on your chopping block after the first month of action and what has been your highlight?