Turns out Toby Greene is evil. I’m pretty sure about that.
I’ve seen him punch a small man in slow-motion 25 times. And that’s just scrolling through my phone over breakfast.
Greene’s latest offence, a roundhouse to the face, was a dirty punch crudely disguised as a spoil. Vision of the Bulldogs’ cherubic Caleb Daniel lying face-down in the grass featured on news programs, post-game panels and social media.
Greene couldn’t have chosen a more vulnerable player to strike. Caleb Daniel is 168cm and on cultural exchange from Auskick. And thus, Toby Greene has secured his role as the AFL’s villain du jour. It’s handy timing, because we need one.
The AFL is a monster of a reality show. It supports a host of ancillary media – talkshows, podcasts, websites. And all semi-narrative entertainments have needs for storylines, heroes, villains and characters in-between.
Not to say Greene isn’t complicit in his villainy. Toby Greene is a thug-artist. It was the third incident in as many weeks: a fine for striking against Port, a headbutt in Sydney, now this.
Greene is building a delinquent’s CV with intensity and range. Last year Greene was fined for spitting at Richmond’s Anthony Miles- a highlight/lowlight, depending on what you get from football.
AFL media enthusiastically claims Greene as a villain not just because he is a disreputable idiot, but also because the landscape needs to correct an imbalance of heroes and villains. We have crowned too many good blokes, and it’s getting untenable.
Thanks to club and personal media teams savvy to positive spin, players are positioned to seemingly all be great blokes and great leaders. There is no person as positive or aspirational as the Lite n’ Easy version of Luke Hodge. I suspect the real Luke Hodge – darkly competitive, occasionally law-breaking Hodge, is (a) far more interesting and (b) far less effective at selling frozen meals.
It’s a reductive way to think about things, well, people. Bob Murphy is probably no saint. Brendon Goddard probably has a sense of humour. Mitch Robinson can probably read. But nuance is difficult in a league that trades in simple, recognisable characters. I trade in it as well. My world is certainly a funner place if I can pretend Tom Bugg is a dark genius consumed by the misery of others.
Greene cannot argue or spin. Last season, he attempted to explain that he didn’t mean to spit at Miles, a former teammate. Unfortunately, the ‘accidental spit’ defence doesn’t work if it comes right after you give Miles a forceful shove. And now we have our villain.
It comes in a time of need. Villain stocks are running low. A desperate push for a negative story last month told us how reprehensible it was for Jesse Hogan to be smoking while recovering from injury. In a sign of the times, fellow player Scott Pendlebury was compelled to comment, calling it “staggering” on a Collingwood media podcast.
A tenuous story to start with, the miscalculation got worse. It was later revealed that Hogan was dealing with his father’s terminal illness. It’s not just heroes and villains, it’s all over.
This week, the media forced a half-baked and unformed ‘Nat Fyfe to St Kilda’ storyline not because of its veracity; but because the AFL is due for a mid-season trade story. Scholars of AFL media will recall prior incarnations: Dangerfield to Geelong, Franklin to GWS, Cloke to Carlton etc.
The AFL machine is about sport in the same way My Kitchen Rules is about cooking. There will always be the same storylines, season after season. There’s always going to be a bitchy contestant who isn’t happy with the texture of your flan. Or whatever.
It is easy to find the ratbag in Toby Greene. But the enduring challenge for those who accept it, is to find the relateable.
Don Freo
Guest
After the way Sewell performed on the AFL Tribunal during Mitchell and Hodge's dirtiest years...not to mention his woeful ABC commentary (he can barely string a sentence together)...I support the pro-Lloyd comments. I have always thought of Lloyd as a bit soft with a slight handbag slap. Bloody good player, though.
Raimond
Roar Guru
Caleb Daniel is no Auskicker Yeah, the Auskickers are much bigger...
Craig Delaney
Guest
Agree Dougie about the accident, but there was a worrying second movement. Even so, it is the appetite for hurting that worries me and I cannot respect.
Hunter
Guest
Great rivalry building between GWS and the Bulldogs. Cant say I'm a fan of Toby. I have been waiting for someone to take Hayden Ballantyne serial pest title. Toby is well on his way.
Joe B
Guest
I think to b promoted as a villain it helps to play in a successful non-vic club because the AFL media runs mostly out of Melbourne and would be too scared to tread on any toes locally. Ballantyne and Crowley were big villains during Freo’s better seasons, Goodes from Swans, now Greene from GWS. Karl Langdon from WCE in the 90s was also a big villain in Vic. Milne, from Saints, was a big Vic villain.... just remembered Wayne Carey, was he a villain? He was definitely a ....
Pumping Dougie
Guest
I think Mummy's concussion of Libber was accidental. I love the way Mummy goes about it. Nothing wrong with being aggressive and intimidating if you aren't dirty about it and you perform well for your side. Mummy's letdown was that he only got one kick for the game.
Pumping Dougie
Guest
I don't share the anti-sentiment towards Matty Lloyd. I know he cleaned-up Sewell and caused some damage, but the incident was an old-fashioned shirtfront. Lloyd even attempted to get down low and used his shoulder, not a fist. It was reckless and dirty and he deserved his suspension, but Dermie did that kind of thing every week. Byron Pickett was far worse, because he never even bothered going for the ball. Lloyd's actions were poor, but he was playing against a team that had a recent history of being absolute dirty thugs (e.g. Campbell Brown king-hitting Winderlich who was in the hands of the trainers), so I don't blame him. The Hawks have no right to complain about the Lloyd incident. Against every other side he was a'ball player'. I regard him overall as a fair champion.
Pumping Dougie
Guest
Haha actually that was two decades ago and doesn't reflect the behaviors of this current bulldog crop. Libber Senior was a dirty sniping thug and the game is much better without him. I'm glad he is no longer playing with our club. But I love the way his brilliant son goes about it!
Pope Paul VII
Guest
Everyone is so chill and latte'd up it's hard to imagine any of the manbunned crowd losing it.
J.T. Delacroix
Guest
Its a sad sign of the times that the AFL's chief villain is called Toby. Don't get me wrong, he's doing a good job despite it. Just doesn't fit the image. Carl Ditterich ; now that was a good villain's name! They ain't making em like big Carl anymore.
Don Freo
Guest
And yet you are happy with yours? Try writing something nice about someone.
Ellen
Guest
Oh yes and Caleb Daniel is no Auskicker so stop using that analogy. It's offensive and a puerile attempt at humour
Another Paul
Guest
Tony? that was more then a decade ago the culture is so far removed that it's amazing you feel the need to bring it up and the man himself came out and said he was ashamed of it. GWS right now have a huge problem. They just stated in the media that they weren't expecting an apology from Toby and that they would support him through this "tough" time. What a load of BS, he isn't a victim he did something that has consequences. As far as I'm concerned GWS ought to sanction him too, they did warn him before hand after all, you don't give some one a directive and then when they break it just say oh well, better luck next time. I hope they as a team throw this whole season away with some indiscretion like this during finals.
Mark
Guest
Quite possibly cost them a grand final place, especially when you consider he was replaced by Rhys Palmer.
Paul D
Roar Guru
Locked up in the dungeon most likely Probably a spare NPC that could be converted into a PC if someone's character dies "You look trustworthy friend. Care to join us in our quest for a premiership? Here's a one year minimum contract."
Brian
Guest
Libba
Birdman
Guest
I know you shouldn't judge on looks alone but Toby just plain looks like a tool - kinda like Dan Hanneberry. Both can play though.
Pope Paul VII
Guest
To be fair to Leigh it must take all his repentant strength not to clock BT. Good old Hawthorn fans. 'til then end of Neville Bruns playing days they booed him.
Leighton
Guest
And the former black prince that wrecked a marriage and smashed a glass in his partner's face? Why he turned up on Andrew Denton as part of his path back to respectability. Milne endured the opprobrium of fans due to off field actions, helped along by a then Collingwood coach pointing it out. Few made an off and on field distinction. Why would anyone when booing can be done? As to your direct question, the PR is easy combined with the passage of time. See Matthews, Leigh. Hawthorn player of some repute. Got charged for assault on the field. Now feted as the wise man of football. Since when must one be consistent? The mob is fickle.
bilo
Guest
Canterbury maybe?