How would a twinkle-toed Tatafu Polota-Nau go on the Bridge of Blades? Would Allan Alaalatoa make it up the Warped Wall? Could Nick Phipps get all the way to the Chimney Climb?
I’m an unabashed Australian Ninja Warrior fan, and all of Michael Cheika’s fitness talk has got me imagining how some of the Wallabies would go.
Perhaps Cheika could’ve proposed a series of Australian Ninja Wallaby to the producers to get the guys ready for the Rugby Championship. Maybe the upcoming culling of the Super Rugby side should be decided over the obstacles on Cockatoo Island.
The Melbourne Rebels nominate their best ten players. The Western Force do the same. Head to head. Winning team survive; losers say goodbye to Super Rugby. Bill Pulver could do Freddie Flintoff’s job as sideline colour commentator. C’mon, that would be great TV.
I’m going on a bit of a tangent. Like the Basket Toss. Geez that looks tough.
But why would Cheika go public with his we’re-not-fit-enough line?
His perception that Australia’s elite rugby professionals aren’t elite enough fitness-wise has become a pretty big deal over the last week. It seems to have become a big focus, how the squad of 38 have been flogged on the training paddock. But it’s also a slap in the face, a public shaming for the coaching staff at the five Super Rugby franchises.
Not that he’s the type of character that is overly concerned about ruffling feathers. But to go public with it seems petty to me.
It was alluded to following the three June Tests also. The Wallabies coach questioned whether Australia were fit enough to play the style of rugby he wanted them to play.
That seems to paper over the fact that they were severely underwhelming, out-smarted and out-enthused in a 24-19 loss to Scotland in Sydney and needed two late tries to put away world No.14-ranked Italy in Brisbane.
In both Tests, a bag of errors – with and without the ball – were made early in both games when fatigue wasn’t a factor. And Cheika should be skillful and bold when using his bench if he feels like his starters are tiring.
(AP Photo/Alastair Grant)
A lift in fitness isn’t the panacea to beat the All Blacks and the Springboks. I like old-school markers – such as the one Eddie Jones is a fan of: you know, how quick is each player getting off the ground after making a tackle and back in the defensive line ready to go again? The fastest are the ones you want in your side.
Of course fitness helps, but desire stands above it. George Smith is allegedly average, even below average, in a beep test. But he’s your man when the heat is on in the 70th minute and you need a blast of inspiration.
Given the Wallabies have more preparation time for the Rugby Championship due to the Australian teams’ Super Rugby flop, there’s probably enough time to get in some brutal hill sprints and stair climbs until a few are on the verge of an up-and-under.
You get the feeling Cheika would like to get some of his players slugging it out in the octagon if he could. There’s still three weeks for Cheika to instill the technical side of the strategy to knock over the All Blacks.
Hopefully the sapping sessions get the best out of a Wallabies squad who should rightly be hurting after an ordinary past 12 months. Cheika’s champion Super Rugby side of 2014 were super-fit.
But I don’t reckon Cheika should feel like he has the power to dictate the physical benchmarks at each Super Rugby club as far back as January when they get together in the pre-season. Each coaching staff have their different styles in which they want to play and that governs how they prepare their players physically.
And those coaches should live and die by their own planning, including that involving strength and conditioning. That’s their domain. Not the Wallabies. Cooperation and collaboration is best, but final calls should be left with the Super Rugby franchises.
Those coaches – who are fighting tooth and nail for their own futures – shouldn’t have to be looking over their shoulder at Cheika and his fitness police.
Nigel
Guest
His methods are draconian, he comes from and brings with him an outdated view of the game!! These players will be flat when it comes time to play the ABs!!!
Nigel
Guest
They won't beat the ABs, they're not smart enough, strong enough or talented enough....
Nigel
Guest
Cheika is a mentally weak individual himself, too emotional, doesn't think before he acts or speaks, like the public humiliation of Duper Rugby coaches that their players aren't fit enough!!! Big mouth no brains.....starting to sound like his coaching methods already???
Nigel
Guest
Hard work trumps talent easily,would rather coach a group of ordinary players that had the will to win rather than all the premadonnas!!!
Marto
Guest
Willy G is doing that because he has to cover for Folaus non defence.
Marto
Guest
john R Your best buddy client brother cousin sister or whatever he is to you Israel " SLEEPY " Folau is the laziest, softest ,weakest bloke in Wallaby gold the world has ever seen ..We will never beat tier one teams with that Joker at 15.. His snoozing or looking at himself on the big screen when the opposition is steaming towards our the tryline is the funniest , but also the most infuritating thing i have ever seen by a rugby player.. He makes absolutely no effort to tackle anyone ..Look at his jersey after every game ..Not a spot of dirt on it .. Clean as a Whistle....Folau F$#k off !!
Hoy
Roar Guru
Training well could really be anything though couldn't it. We trained at hockey well, but lost the rugby game. Does trained well mean they were slick and didn't make mistakes, or that they improved?
Timbo (L)
Roar Guru
Watching TJ last night for the Canes - he was Johnny-on-the-spot, if he wasn't causing trouble in the ruck he was making a pest of himself around it. Scored a cracker from being in the right place.
PiratesRugby
Guest
Cheika is just pre-emptively blaming Wallabies' upcoming failure on fitness. As though he hasn't been the national coach for two years.
Stin
Guest
Yet Gibson agreed with him. That's more of an indictable offence to my mind. And embarrassing in general. At Cheika seems to be transparent and hopefully it inspires his players to lift for their country.
Tamaolevao
Guest
I've always thought that the wallabies were the most unfit teir one team in the world and Cheikas doing something to address the slide...... I honestly believe that the oppressive training The wallabies are engaged in will address two things at once for cheika 1. Fitness if you can't supply you're brain with enough oxygen to make good snap decisions then you'll end up kicking ball away all the time to look To "reset" which is code for I'm stuffed. In a nutshell play smarter by being fitter 2. After coming up zero for wins against their NZ opponents this year the boys are low on confidence. There is nothing more powerful than having to go through some probably in their eyes unnecessary training to unite and in some cases fire up some who coast along when in wallabies camp Cheika runs the risk of losing some support from senior players which could be fatal if you're a Aussie coach but what choice does he have? These guys don't cut it fitness wise and when you don't match talent across the park with you're opponents then you leave yourself with little else but desire?
Kiwi in US
Guest
Hello Puff, yes I agree. "Cheika is in control". Ever since the end of RWC when he had seized a moment in rugby history, it is like he lost the plot. It is like it has gone down from that moment. For all the reasons folks on here talk about, but the one variable that should not be a factor for non performance or poor results is fitness. That is what is so shocking about all of this. That he would go public. Happened last year and is happening now. I was once a believer and now just cringe. He should look in the mirror. Too much time going to self improvement classes. Good luck to the blokes though.
RB
Guest
Eddie Jones and Warren Gatland have recently said similar of their international charges. Not sure that it is a slap in the face for Super coaches/teams or club teams. Being fit for Super rugby and a level below International level is ok if you are playing Super rugby. If a player wants to play above that level they would need to be fitter and the onus would be on them to get themselves fitter. Australian coaches would need to make clear what those requirements would need to be, but with 6 weeks contact time a year are not going to be responsible for administering the training. Players responsibility.
ethan
Guest
It would certainly be interesting to see the numbers on how much territory the guys cover running to new positions all the time. And as you say, if some guys are shirking it defensively, it means some others have to pick up the slack. I've noticed Genia often stands quite a way behind the ruck defensively, almost as a second fullback. This is a problem on our counter attack, as he is too far away to get to the breakdown quickly and release the counter. Often its left up to a forward to do, who doesn't have the passing skills to make it work, which is why our counters are ineffective, and we are not properly utilising the dual opensides we have on the field! Comparitively, NZ typically have the halfback just in behind the defensive line, meaning they can clear ball quickly for the counter from turnover. I guess it also gives them less ground to cover in D, and better for overall fitness levels. As usual, the Kiwis seem one step ahead.
puff
Guest
Kiwi IU, what we pundits are all over looking here is Cheika has been trending water since the last WC and every year we tune into the same rhetoric. He talks about fitness like it’s the latest innovation and he has just discovered how to walk on water. Elite physical fitness programs have been around for over two thousand years, athletes are not capable of breaking world records if they are not fit. The rub is, his two most senior assistants, Larkham & Grey were very much aligned to two franchisers and yet they don’t realize that fitness is a key component to been successful. There is nothing more pioneering than a quiet achiever, which he is not. Although I didn’t agree with the image but perhaps the NZ media with the clown depiction, were trying to send a message. If you would like to be treaded seriously take the highs and lows with dignity. Public statements involving negativity aimed at SR or the code is not helpful. You have been the Wallaby coach since 2015 and the team has lost a number of tests because of your arrogance not fitness and this next four months is critical for the code moving forward.
Ruckin' Oaf
Guest
Maybe - tell me how many SR games did you watch this year and think to yourself " Gee whiz the Aussie team would have easily won that if only they were fitter"
Ruckin' Oaf
Guest
So 1 good tournament performance every 3 or 4 years. Gee what a lot to look forward to for the Rugby fan.
Fionn
Guest
Cheika used the bench poorly. He kept bringing the Foley-Quade combo (the worst combo ever) on at the end of the Tests, refused to give Powell (or any other backup scrumhalf) enough time and generally waited too long to bring on his bench players. Rather than use them to plug holes, he needs to use them the way the ABs do, and the way he did at the RWC, and bring on his 'finishers' at around the 50min mark and let them run riot.
Drongo
Guest
'Dictate'? No one can 'dictate' fitness levels. What the national coach can do is make it clear he wants higher levels for players selected from SR. How else can he improve Wallaby fitness?
Drongo
Guest
They have the desire, they lose because their opponent has a better combination of fitness, skill, ability and tactics. Focusing on intangibles like 'desire' is what amateurs do. Professionals focus on the things that actually matter. That is what Cheika is doing. Why did he go public? Why not? He is concerned about fitness levels and is doing something about it. They are also addressing skills and tactics. What may be more difficult to improve is innate ability. Every player has a limit there.