The Eddie, Dusty and Buddy show rolls on, but please - no more Kochy

Eddie Betts was so mesmerisingly brilliant on Thursday night that several GWS players recognised the privilege of their vantage points and decided to watch the spectacle instead of getting in the way.

The Giants could only have been more dreadful if Israel Folau had lined up at centre-half forward. They unravelled like an errant ball of wool under finals pressure and Betts, the mercurial small-forward, toyed with his opponents like Stevie J once did.

GWS selected a giant side, but their performance was anything but gigantic. With Jeremy Cameron and Shane Mumford out, the Giants will have to pick a smaller side to play West Coast, one that should include Johnson. But, it won’t matter, the Giants are falling apart like a clown’s car and will exit the finals this weekend.

The Tigers last won a game in week one of the finals in 1982. To put that in perspective, Hawthorn have won nine premierships since then.

Richmond were amazing on Friday night and for the first time in 16 years ‘amazing’ can be used as a superlative, instead of in anguish when referring to the Tigers’ ‘amazing’ ability to finish ninth or ‘amazing’ ability to clutch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Little wonder the fans were so ecstatic. It’s amazing to think that with such little practice the yellow and black army can sing the club song so amazingly.

Amazing.

Dustin Martin is currently the best player in the competition, closely followed by Buddy Franklin on one leg. Richmond skipper Trent Cotchin kicked the best captain’s goal since Luke Hodge’s in the 2015 grand final and also picks up rubbish in the dressing room.

The pressure and tackling from the Tigers was brilliant and if the Tigers don’t make the club’s first grand final since 1982 it will only be because they are Richmond, and we’ll still love them.

(AAP Image/Julian Smith)

The Cats were rubbish and Chris Scott’s win/loss record in finals keeps dropping like Joel Selwood in a tackle. Since Bomber Thompson handed him a premiership ready team in 2011 so bad have things become for Scott during September that when people in the street call out, ‘Hey Chris,’ he probably now tells them that he is Brad.

The Cats consistently have so few contributors when it counts in finals that even if Buddy has two corked thighs this weekend they won’t get within thirty points of the Swans.

Speaking of Buddy, I got a ‘corky’ at school in 1983 from a bloke who was even easier to dislike than Brendon Goddard and it still hurts today.

The knee to the leg, which may have seen the Giants’ Phil Davis drop dead on the spot, sparked Buddy into action. He even took overhead marks, the one flaw in his game. The Swans could make the grand final so long as Kurt Tippett remains out of the side.

Lance Franklin (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

Essendon got as close as any right-minded person thought they would on Saturday. Strangely, Channel Seven didn’t think it important enough to broadcast James Kelly and Jobe Watson leaving an AFL field for the last time.

If that’s how they treat Watson, it wouldn’t surprise if they cut to an episode of Get Smart when James Hird presents the Norm Smith Medal on grand final day.

Ken Hinkley effortlessly gliding across the Geelong halfback line when he played was beautiful to watch, just as David Koch effortlessly making a goose of himself is awful to watch.

The Port president is essentially a fan with a public profile and whatever advantages come with that, they are immediately nullified when he begins offering bleedingly obvious platitudes like, ‘We only want players who want to play in a Port premiership,’ straight after a gut-wrenching loss.

Koch’s comments weren’t presidential, they were the type of uninformed drivel you’d expect from someone whose critical thinking capabilities have been developed through watching breakfast television, or worse, hosting it.

The day that Hinkley starts telling creepy uncle jokes in a press-conference is the same day that Koch should start commenting on Power team selections.

Fifth beat eighth in both the AFL and NRL on the weekend and Nic Naitanui had more people in his lounge room than attended the NRL game.

The post-game celebrations at the ruckman’s house were so intense that he’s already been passed fit for this week, a match in which Sam Mitchell and Toby Greene can spit at each other all they like and no one will really care.

Eagles and Swans to win.