The 2017 All Blacks have been like a progressive dinner party from the 1980s – around the same time that digital watches and fondues were a good idea – you have no idea what is coming up next and any discovered delicacy is no guarantee that a continued banquet of excellence is to follow.
Last Saturday’s Test against France was an 80-minute precis of the entire season; 40 minutes of solid basics, forward-based, liberally sprinkled with black magic dust, which resulted in a commanding and ultimately unreachable lead of 31-5.
The second stanza saw the return of an inexperienced and slightly directionless side, the hard, black veneer scratched to reveal a team exposed.
So many false dawns, so much promise, and still that full 80-minute performance eludes them.
Our misfiring dinner party has opened so often in reverse; a black forest trifle here, a substantial Banana split there, and just as we look for a fine port to finish the evening, some bozo slips a cheap, insulin-challenging dessert wine into the mix and we are all left disappointed.
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The opening gambit against an overwhelmed Samoa, a tactical masterclass in the first Test, the opening 50 minutes of Bledisloe 1, Albany – ahh, we’ll always have Albany, where the Springboks simply did not know which way to look next – and the first half in Paris were all quality.
But ultimately, they were brief displays.
What is genuinely galling is that when they hit these standards, no one can go with them, but a lack of composure and execution continue to haunt this side.
The first half in France really looked like so many of the season’s prior challenges had been put firmly behind them.
Beauden Barrett and Sonny Bill Williams seemed to have declunked the funk in their collective junk, the forwards were again laying an excellent platform (a couple of good French scrums aside), Sam Cane was rampant both in tight and as the link between the forwards and the princesses, Damian McKenzie was making proper Test-level decisions and restricting his sideways running, Dane Coles was focusing on his own game instead of gobbing off at everyone within a two-kilometre radius, and that was a high-quality cameo before injury claimed him after 25 minutes.
The only real downside was the inability of Vaea Fafita to inject himself into the contest again.
I am still not sure that head chef Steve Hansen doesn’t seek to deliberately stress this team out. Why, when you have lost Coles to injury and your skipper to a precautionary early sit-down, do you drag Aaron Smith and take off Ryan Crotty, while keeping the law-book-challenged SBW out on the park, thus leaving only Sam Whitelock and Cane as genuine leaders?
We are now only a couple of weeks away from the end of the season and standards demand a complete performance before minds drift to the Christmas menu.
You can keep your sausages wrapped in bacon, cheese and pineapple served on the same stick, and shrimp cocktails. I want a single serving of solid, Kiwi excellence before we close.
I’ll have 80 minutes of the pork bones and puha, thanks.
Muzzo
Guest
Hahaha Highlander, the old Wapiti!! Yeh mate back in the day, I was fortunate enough to score, one of them in the Arawata Valley, just near Jackson's Bay, on the West Coast. A beautiful part of NZ.
Kiwi in US
Guest
Thankyou HIghlander. This has been a good read and some of the comments helpful. 2 years out from a World Cup it seems like it is going well. I wish we were having a crack at England this trip, but next year will be just fine. The big swings in scoring by game and by half recently reminds me of the "shape shifter girlfriend" episode of Seinfeld.
frisky
Guest
I agree with the comment on McKenzie being a weak last line of defence. Do not doubt his courage, but he is easily bumped off when close to the line. Whenever I wonder why he is in the AB, he produces speed and line breaks which win the game. Pity he does not make it at #10. Can he be groomed in that position?
zhenry
Guest
Go the whole hog, why not Wagner’s immolation scene of Brünnhilde? Wagner did read a passage of Dante every morning before he composed; about the only positive from the lackey and spelling freak responses to my above comment.
Carlos the Argie
Roar Guru
Noah the funny Saffa in America.... My son lives in the border of Brentwood and Santa Monica. He is (heavily) subsidized by his dad for his living expenses. He is an expert on truck food, in particular tacos. He can tell you the best of the best any day....
Steve Wright
Guest
Where do you get ELK from - your ear?
Cuw
Guest
Dom Bird had a great game last night. am sure he will play a test this tour , going by that form :)
MIB2
Roar Rookie
Is he shortlisted for the player of the year.
Smiggle Jiggle
Roar Guru
Of all the 10's in the world, would you pick him there? For me, Sexton rates above him in the 10 position.
Highlander
Guest
Good post graeme
Jerry
Guest
Correlation is not causation. I'd imagine the vast majority of his tests at wing featured Israel Dagg as their careers have overlapped to a large degree.
Old Bugger
Guest
My best guess, is Fozzie has a bee under his bonnet about backs, being captains.....he was one if, you can recall....??
Carlos the Argie
Roar Guru
I know, crispy. I was just making some noise.
Jerry
Guest
Hansen's not really gone in for that at any stage since he took over - I tend to think he's a sink or swim type of coach.
Kia Kaha
Roar Guru
Sounds refreshing. Not sure about burnt but definitely like the crispy rice at the bottom. Am in awe of friends who cook their paella on the bbq and manage to not burn it. The stock made up of ? is crucial to add to the areas that dry up under the heat.
Machpants
Roar Guru
Very similar match by the ABs b team. Lots of errors, ill discipline and poor decision making. But a twenty minute burst, this time in the third quarter, got them through.
rebel
Guest
Was talking about player of the year nominations
Carlos the Argie
Roar Guru
The funny thing I remember from that lunch was the comment that the bottom of the pan rice was burnt. And that reminded me of my ex-wife who would burn everything she cooked. She once managed to burn boiled eggs, a soup... The Spaniards (or they were Catalans that day and one Valenciano) were outraged I called their rice burnt. But the Persians and other middle east cultures also "burn" the rice and have it as a delicacy. Kia Kaha, we used to have "clericó" in the summer heat. This is sangria made with white wine.
Graeme
Guest
Nice analogy Highlander. I tend to agree with the majority of comments that Hansen and co are not necessarily looking for a fully dominant 80 minutes at the moment but are appreciating the opportunities to see the squad cope under pressure. I think this in some ways explains the decision to sub Hames and Read on 48 minutes on Saturday. Hames owned Slimani up until that point and then for some reason the scrum tables turned in Gardner's mind following Hames departure. Reviewing the second half of the France match it appears that the message given to the French at half time was to tighten things up in the forwards, look for the pick and go and the offloads in and around the fringes of the ruck. This is the area they exploited in the opening minutes that led to them moving onto attack and into the NZ red zone. (Argentina recently exploited this area against the AB's too). The pressure from the attack led to NZ infringing close to the line and the 'free play' cross field kick led to SBW's brain implosion. NZ then brought pressure onto themselves through unforced errors and penalties. Naholo was penalised at the first ruck following the kick off from the penalty try which invited the French back down into NZ territory. Following further sustained pressure Barrett kicked a 22 drop out out on the full. France took the scrum option and won a penalty which they converted. Two minutes later Crockett conceded another scrum penalty allowing the French to again swing onto attack. From the lineout they go through a couple of phases that almost leads to a try for T Thomas in the corner. The French continue to attack in the NZ red zone for a further four minutes before Naholo wins a turnover. That pretty much sums up the third quarter of the game. More of the same ensued in the following quarter with NZ inviting pressure onto themselves. A ruck penalty was reversed for Tu'ungafasi's over exuberance after only being on the pitch for four minutes, D Mac inexplicably decided to attack from outside his 22 with a chip kick over the defence which was easily read by three French players, Matt Todd threw a speculative over head pass in one of NZ's rare counter-attacking phases (again in their own half), Barrett knocked on an easy pass. As the French continued to attack NZ continued to infringe. They were lucky not to lose a player to the bin given the number of penalties conceded close to the try line. What is interesting is the players who conceded the penalties. Crockett managed four in the 32 minutes he was on!. Next was Hames with two, then Naholo, Ioane, ALB, SBW, Fifita, Romano, Todd and Tu'ungafasi. The majority in that list (Crockett excepted) are relatively inexperienced. I'm sure Hansen would have preferred the second half to pan out as it did rather than more of the same, rampant attacking from the AB's. The playing squad would have learnt so much from the experience, Hansen learned a lot about the players in that situation and they have plenty to analyse and work on. For me some of the young guns need to reflect on some of their decision making when in those defensive situations but also just as importantly the leadership group need to look at their reading of the situation, assess whether they made the right decisions to adapt to the situation and communicated them clearly. I think this leads to Highlanders comments about changing the strategy or game plan given the circumstances. I would have preferred to see the AB's tighten things up when they got the ball back (to reduce the error rate) and play some percentage rugby to gain back some territory and alleviate the pressure. Final two points: 1. Well done to France for their second half performance. Given five debutants and their injury travails they played very well. They have unearthed a gem in Dupont. 2. As already commented, and as most if not all of the NH press seem to forget, NZ are in a rebuilding phase which is currently compounded by injuries to some very experienced players. Given Coles' latest injury thats four of the first choice tight five out of commission at the moment. Still the AB machine rolls on and the opportunities given to the next cab(s) off the rank bodes well for 2019.
Jeffrey
Guest
For me Joe Moody is the no1 loosehead in world rugby. The only guy who I can think of who is near his standard is Steven Kitshoff. Not sure if McGrath's scrummaging is good enough and am not knowledgeable enough about the French props.