For anyone who likes Pink Floyd, there’s nothing better than popping on The Dark Side Of The Moon to escape the world for 43-minutes. Some people just don’t get their music though and are mystified how anyone can listen to one song, let alone a full album.
But if you take the time to listen to each song over and over, the music starts to become addictive.
Sport is the same.
It’s like one of those 3D magic eye pictures that you have to concentrate on for a long time. Once you see the picture it all makes sense. You start by understanding the rules, then you begin to see more and more than you ever realised was there.
Perhaps people who hate sport simply don’t want to see the picture, knowing what sport addiction can do to a person.
When I read ‘The Man Who Owns the News’, I was surprised to find that Rupert Murdoch doesn’t even like sport, but he does understand and appreciates its power. After all, if it wasn’t for his acquisition of pay-television sport, particularly English football, he may never have recovered all of his debts in the early 90s (according to the book it was $7 billion at one stage).
If Murdoch doesn’t like it, how many people are out there in the same boat?
If you’ve ever lived with someone who doesn’t appreciate the joys of watching elite sport these comments may sound familiar:
* ‘Can’t you just tape it if it’s on at 2am?’
No, no and no! Watching live sport is a phenomenon like no other. You are watching un-scripted action. Anything can happen and it often does, which is why Bill Lawry says ‘It’s all happening.’
You remember where you were when Stephen Larkham kicked THAT field goal or Tim Cahill scored THAT goal. It’s just not the same when you’re watching sport delayed the next day. It takes so much effort just to avoid hearing the result and then you find out you didn’t set the timer properly or the tape runs out at a crucial moment, or worse, you tape over treasured family memories. Not good. Basically only bad things can happen when you don’t watch sport live.
* ‘Who’s winning the cricket?’
Is this the most clichéd non-sports-fan question of all-time? You know the person that asks this doesn’t really care, but they ask anyway. You then try and explain that it’s hard to tell who’s winning since it’s only the first innings of the Test.
Unfortunately this opens up more questions so in future you just say Australia.
* ‘There’s a really good movie I want to watch. Don’t worry, we can flick it over in the ads so you can check the score.’
This usually happens on a Friday night during the winter football season when competing television networks put chick flicks on.
* ‘You don’t need to hear the commentators, so I’m going to put some music on.’
True, we don’t need to hear the commentators, but the sound of the crowd helps. I like to feel like I’m there and it’s pretty hard to do that when ABBA is blaring in the background. ‘Dancing Queen’ and rugby league aren’t exactly the best of combinations.
* ‘Why are you watching this? Australia/your team isn’t even playing’
A favourite comment by non-sport lovers during any World Cup. It’s assumed that because Australia isn’t playing, you are not meant to watch, like you’re some sort of traitor supporting the enemy in a war.
Television network executives who don’t understand the power of sport have made this mistake before by assuming what the audience wants to watch.
Channel Nine were most upset (putting it mildly) when Australia didn’t qualify for the 2002 FIFA World Cup because they bought a small selection of marquee matches and the finals that they were forced to show live in prime-time.
Worse, they would have to drop the Footy Show in place of this joke of a World Cup. No Australia meant poor ratings. Or so they thought.
How wrong they were.
The Argentina v England match outrated State of Origin, and a Big Brother double eviction on in the same week. Then the World Cup final outrated the AFL Grand Final, NRL Grand Final, and Melbourne Cup. All of a sudden the executives were pissed off because Channel Nine didn’t buy more matches.
The question then became why aren’t you watching the World Cup? Everyone else is.
Sports journalists may be unfairly referred to as the ‘toy department’ in many newsrooms – for not covering serious news – but at least they know that if the mainstream media stopped covering sport, newspapers would crumble, pay-television would be non-profitable and advertisers would disappear faster than Usain Bolt running 100-metres.
So even if you don’t like sport, there’s no escaping it. Just ask Rupert Murdoch. The easiest thing to do is learn to love it.
Gatesy
Guest
Nothing worse than: .. 1. going to bed recording the game only to find that your kids have programmed endless re-runs of Disney channel programs that clashed and killed your game.. 2. getting up to watch it and finding it has failed 3. getting up to watch it and some bas@$rd telling you the score.. 4. having to put up with a "Sex and the City" marathon (re-runs) just to earn the right to watch the game 5. that cricket question - I always say "Australia" even if they're not playing Nothing better than:.. 1. the drama of the moment (I was there(glued to the TV) for the Gregan tackle, the Ella tries in the 84 grandslam, the Campese try in the 1991 semi, the Larkham field goal, the Lynagh try in the 1991 QF at Landsdowne Road...and the eerie silence of the Irish crowd that followed, Cornelsen's four tries against the All Blacks, etc etc) 2. watching your team come from behind and win on the bell 3. A bowl of pasta and a glass of red while you watch the game - beats Canberra Stadium food, any day 4. explaining to your other half that the opposition are not all dirty, mindless bastards who are only out to kill our team\ 5. instant re-wind 6. the mute button from time to time, when certain commentators are blathering about scrums for the twentieth time in a game
Lazza
Guest
Sport is a part of the 'entertainment' industry but with a difference. Most popular entertainment features 'actors' who can't act and 'singers' who can't sing and are only popular for their looks or image. At least you can't hide in sport, if you haven't got real talent you won't be there. Sport at it's best has real drama and suspense, unlike most scripted soapies and other TV shows that are so popular. The most stupid comment though is "it's only a bunch of grown men chasing a ball" or something similar. One English wit summed it up nicely. It's like saying "a violin is nothing more than a bit of wood and cat gut".
Towser
Guest
Watched Billy Connolly the other night being interviewed by his wife Pamela Stephenson, a psychologist. She was talking about likes /dislikes & golf was mentioned. He noted that he didnt "get It". He then went on to say that in his sixties he realised that there were many things he "hadnt got" previously. But whereas when he was younger he would "try to like the things that to him were unlikeable "& failed, as he aged he realised he just didnt" get it" and didnt bother. Perhaps if we all took this attitude the world would be a more relaxed place. Then again of course the Roar would not exist.
Footbal Person
Guest
Good Article, When ever my brother see's me standing on top of the tv watching football he always asks me what im doing,of course my answer is always "cuz" ,he then proseeds to tell me that sitting won't change anything. Not so, sitting three or four metres from the tv will change alot. By standing right up close to the action not only can I damage my eyes, but It will feel like im in the stadium. My brother is a ManU and Liverpool "fan" who knows next to nothing about the clubs, so you can understand the type of football supporter he is.
Dogs Of War
Roar Guru
My cousin decided to get married on the same date as the Rugby World Cup 2003. Silly decision as nearly all of us spent most of the time around the TV watching the match. Felt wrong, but not as wrong as scheduling your wedding on such a big sports night!
Papa Romeo
Guest
Er, nurse...over here please.
onside
Guest
Correction above It was Candlestick park in San Francisco The home of the San Francisco 49ers Not ......nevermind,you know what I mean
onside
Guest
Ah Pink Floyd,now there was a team.I once saw Kiss at Waverly Park. They would have beaten Richmond that year, even though Richmond won the flag. I have been a grandfather for over a decade now, but years ago,in another life we used to inhale a little greenness and listen to Pink Floyd. I once went to a GridIron game at Candle Wick park in Los Angeles.Sitting right in front of us was a group of about ten men, all neat,well dressed and behaved.These guys passed a joint up and down the row amongst themselves during the game.We stuck to beer because that's what Aussies do at football matches.I remember a UCLA marching band playing before the game.There were 300 musicians. I counted 29 bass euphoniams.They played amazing music.It was very emotional ,and made me cry.Thats a real bastard ,and the game had not even started.I can see it now,a night grand final at the MCG.The lights are turned off and the spotlight fixes on Pink Floyds airplane delivering the matchball to the centre of the ground.Grand dads rock. And let me tell you,if visitors dont understand sport ,there's always the hospice.In my house what I say goes.(please dont show this to my wife,she doesnt understand sport)
Lindommer
Guest
Mothers, they're a problem when it comes to sport, aren't they? My mother poked her nose into the TV room once when I was watching a Bledisloe Cup match from New Zealand. "What are they playing?" "Rugby (groan)" "Gee, it looks rough. (after a moment's viewing) Why do they need a ball?" I did a lot of very serious interviewing before entering matrimony,...and married a sports nut!
Adam Pearce
Guest
Thankyou for this wonderful article i have sent it off to my mother who for the life of her cant understand why i would take time off from school or stay up till 6am to watch manchester united et al or my general obsession with sport. No fights for the tv with me ive got my own tv and pay tv hooked up to it i'm in a sports nut paradise. :D
Chop
Roar Guru
I think I will be using this article to help with my answer the next time someone asks me 'Why are you single?' So I avoid all this and watch all the sport I can.... As for Pink Floyd, I still don't 'get it'....
jenny
Guest
Yes but who is winning the cricket Benjamin? Mum
Des
Guest
I wouldn't expect anything less from the master of sports journalism. Yet another brilliant piece Mr. Conkey!
Forgetmenot
Guest
Hayden, Watch How I met your mother, brillant show.
Phil Coorey
Guest
hayden - don't be quick to write off TV just yet - just because the commercial channels out here do not have a clue , doesn't mean all is bad. The Wire just finished and I think it is one of the greatest shows ever created - also Mad Men is excellent. All is not lost! check this out today as well, from todays herald... http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/obama-is-walking-a-high-wire/2009/01/18/1232213445522.html
hayden
Guest
Sport is pretty much the only thing I will watch on TV, apart from Simpsons reruns of course. Most everything else on the box is an insult to the intelligence. As Benjamin mentioned, sport is unscripted and real. [Well, generally, Indian bookies etc exempted.] There are usually good guys, bad guys, and real drama, not some lame, predictable story line designed to wrap up nicely on the hour and stop everyone from having to think. I refer here primarily to American television.
Steffy
Guest
I am english and live in england - I have no real interest in who wins SOO or the NRL Grand Final - but I love watching them - if that involves taking time off work to watch them live then so be it.
Phil Coorey
Guest
When the Red Sox are playing early in teh morning , I never sleep, I always get up and watch teh game. Otherwise I have these terrible dreams where they win one game and lose the next - it sux. "You remember where you were when Stephen Larkham kicked THAT field goal" Actually - I was at Twickers for that one!!!
Michael C
Guest
Redb - in the mornings - yeah - - - for now, Ross and Burnso are back on 3AW.
Redb
Roar Guru
Ben, it's why God invented Foxtel and IQ, bloody marvellous stuff for sports nutz. :-) MC, I'm waiting for the 'A' team to return on SEN. Redb