By Benjamin Conkey
January 15th 2009 @ 3:49am
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It’s hard living with people who don’t understand sport
For anyone who likes Pink Floyd, there’s nothing better than popping on The Dark Side Of The Moon to escape the world for 43-minutes. Some people just don’t get their music though and are mystified how anyone can listen to one song, let alone a full album.
But if you take the time to listen to each song over and over, the music starts to become addictive.
Sport is the same.
It’s like one of those 3D magic eye pictures that you have to concentrate on for a long time. Once you see the picture it all makes sense. You start by understanding the rules, then you begin to see more and more than you ever realised was there.
Perhaps people who hate sport simply don’t want to see the picture, knowing what sport addiction can do to a person.
When I read ‘The Man Who Owns the News’, I was surprised to find that Rupert Murdoch doesn’t even like sport, but he does understand and appreciates its power. After all, if it wasn’t for his acquisition of pay-television sport, particularly English football, he may never have recovered all of his debts in the early 90s (according to the book it was $7 billion at one stage).
If Murdoch doesn’t like it, how many people are out there in the same boat?
If you’ve ever lived with someone who doesn’t appreciate the joys of watching elite sport these comments may sound familiar:
* ‘Can’t you just tape it if it’s on at 2am?’
No, no and no! Watching live sport is a phenomenon like no other. You are watching un-scripted action. Anything can happen and it often does, which is why Bill Lawry says ‘It’s all happening.’
You remember where you were when Stephen Larkham kicked THAT field goal or Tim Cahill scored THAT goal. It’s just not the same when you’re watching sport delayed the next day. It takes so much effort just to avoid hearing the result and then you find out you didn’t set the timer properly or the tape runs out at a crucial moment, or worse, you tape over treasured family memories. Not good. Basically only bad things can happen when you don’t watch sport live.
* ‘Who’s winning the cricket?’
Is this the most clichéd non-sports-fan question of all-time? You know the person that asks this doesn’t really care, but they ask anyway. You then try and explain that it’s hard to tell who’s winning since it’s only the first innings of the Test.
Unfortunately this opens up more questions so in future you just say Australia.
* ‘There’s a really good movie I want to watch. Don’t worry, we can flick it over in the ads so you can check the score.’
This usually happens on a Friday night during the winter football season when competing television networks put chick flicks on.
* ‘You don’t need to hear the commentators, so I’m going to put some music on.’
True, we don’t need to hear the commentators, but the sound of the crowd helps. I like to feel like I’m there and it’s pretty hard to do that when ABBA is blaring in the background. ‘Dancing Queen’ and rugby league aren’t exactly the best of combinations.
* ‘Why are you watching this? Australia/your team isn’t even playing’
A favourite comment by non-sport lovers during any World Cup. It’s assumed that because Australia isn’t playing, you are not meant to watch, like you’re some sort of traitor supporting the enemy in a war.
Television network executives who don’t understand the power of sport have made this mistake before by assuming what the audience wants to watch.
Channel Nine were most upset (putting it mildly) when Australia didn’t qualify for the 2002 FIFA World Cup because they bought a small selection of marquee matches and the finals that they were forced to show live in prime-time.
Worse, they would have to drop the Footy Show in place of this joke of a World Cup. No Australia meant poor ratings. Or so they thought.
How wrong they were.
The Argentina v England match outrated State of Origin, and a Big Brother double eviction on in the same week. Then the World Cup final outrated the AFL Grand Final, NRL Grand Final, and Melbourne Cup. All of a sudden the executives were pissed off because Channel Nine didn’t buy more matches.
The question then became why aren’t you watching the World Cup? Everyone else is.
Sports journalists may be unfairly referred to as the ‘toy department’ in many newsrooms – for not covering serious news – but at least they know that if the mainstream media stopped covering sport, newspapers would crumble, pay-television would be non-profitable and advertisers would disappear faster than Usain Bolt running 100-metres.
So even if you don’t like sport, there’s no escaping it. Just ask Rupert Murdoch. The easiest thing to do is learn to love it.
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Darryl said | January 15th 2009 @ 6:43am | Report comment
Excellent article Benjamin, very entertaining.
I’d also like to add that recording sport while watching it live DOES actually make sense, as the post match video analysis is just as important as the drama and uncertainly of watching sport live.
Spiro Zavos said | January 15th 2009 @ 7:42am | Report comment
Terrific insights Benjamin. On my wedding night I watched a rugby Test in South Africa with a group of mates. I’ve been trying to make up for this terrible gaffe ever since. But first things first.
My mother, who was an Athenian, invariably used to ask me on the first day of a two-day cricket match the same question as the one that drives Benjamin mad: Who is winning?’ As Benjamin says, there is no real answer to this question, especially if you’ve done poorly with the bat or the ball. It like asking: ‘How long is a bit of string.’ You only know when you’ve cut, or in the case of cricket when you’ve come to the end of the game.
Many excellent judges of journalism tell me that the best reporting and writing in Australian newspapers is in the sports section. Sports has everything: a story line, strong personalities, room for making predictions and seeing them coming out or unravel, humour (as in Benjamin’s article), tragedy and glory. Great writers like Peter Roebuck, Mike Coward, Roy Masters and Peter Fitzsimons can and do make a lot with this material.
As for watching sport live, I wonder if Roarers have the same feeling that I do that watching live gives you and the nation supporting a national team to exercise their collective will to change the outcome of play, if this is necessary. Watching replays by definition, does not allow for this attempt to impose your will on the outcome of a match.
Dogs Of War said | September 24th 2009 @ 8:31pm | Report comment
My cousin decided to get married on the same date as the Rugby World Cup 2003. Silly decision as nearly all of us spent most of the time around the TV watching the match. Felt wrong, but not as wrong as scheduling your wedding on such a big sports night!
Kazama said | January 15th 2009 @ 8:09am | Report comment
Spiro, my mother used to drive me mad asking who was winning during the cricket as well!
The worst thing I have heard is a friend of mine was “encouraged” by his partner to tape a game instead of watching it; after the match finished his mate, who thought he was watching, phoned him up and gave away the result.
Spiro Zavos: “I wonder if Roarers have the same feeling that I do that watching live gives you and the nation supporting a national team to exercise their collective will to change the outcome of play, if this is necessary. Watching replays by definition, does not allow for this attempt to impose your will on the outcome of a match.”
I do. It is silly or perhaps arrogant to think that you can influence a match simply by willing it. It is the same when you think you’ve cursed your team by tipping them so you start tipping against them. I know it is stupid and I’m old enough to know better but I still sit there screaming at the TV as if the players can hear what I am saying.
The suspense always kills me so I never watch a recorded game unless I know the score already. I have tried to watch a taped match without knowing the score and I couldn’t help but fast forward to see what happens, especially if my team is losing. I guess I should enjoy being able to stay up to all hours of the night watching the EPL while I still can.
Roger said | January 15th 2009 @ 8:20am | Report comment
When my wife asks me ” Who is winning the cricket”, I launch into a detailed explanation of the ebb and flow of the Test match, discussing the wonderful factors of pitch, weather, curator, injury, reverse swing, new ball, over-rate and form…she doesnt ask it as much anymore.
Amateur Hour said | January 15th 2009 @ 8:47am | Report comment
The other evening, I was forced to flick between the twenty20 and The Sopranos, NCIS and some other mindless trash on Fox. I now have a greater appreciation of the term “justifiable homicide.”
Homer said | January 15th 2009 @ 8:52am | Report comment
When my wife asks why i want to watch the Bulls v Sharks replay ‘they are South African teams why do you care?’, I just point to her collection of 20 year old Columbo, Magnum and Murder She Wrote DVD’s and she backs quietly out of the room.
Watching sport live is incomparable to other televised events. I saw Campo and Lynagh steal victory from the Irish in 91 World Cup, Australia 2 cross the line to take the America’s Cup and saw the socceroo’s get robbed by poor refereeing and poor sportsmanship in the World Cup. All of thos memories will stick with me forever and all were at odd hours. The crowd roar, the exhilaration on the competitors face means more when you know it is live, actually happening and you can feel the emotion. Despite what George Gregan says passion has a massive place in sport and for those that can’t compete, riding your team home live is the next best thing.
Papa Romeo said | January 15th 2009 @ 9:37am | Report comment
Some quality observations in there!
” I wonder if Roarers have the same feeling that I do that watching live gives you and the nation supporting a national team to exercise their collective will to change the outcome of play….”
Oh yes, yes and yes! I try not to think too hard about what this says about my mental state, but u never know, all those tiny bits of willing a team on just might make up for a minutely influential collective conscience! There is NO substitute for watching a game live. And in that vein, a thousand lashes to the commercial stations that not infrequently have a loose definition of ‘live’.
And Spiro, you mention a gaffe…sorry, don’t quite get it, what was the problem?
The flip side to the problem this article portrays is the sport-loving girlfriend I have miraculously jagged:
Us, the Monday just passed: “Lets go to the beach after work tomorrow night.” “Great idea!”
Her, Tues morn: “Babe, we can’t go to the beach tonight”
Me: “W-w-why?”
Her: “There’s a 20-20 on. Wanna come round to my place and watch it?”
There IS a God.
sheek said | January 15th 2009 @ 10:48am | Report comment
I also get the cricket question from my wife. I had to go through the whole evolution the other night explaining the difference between T20, one dayers & tests.
My wife couldn’t care less about pport. Sometimes, that’s good or bad, depending on circumstances. But she’s also an events co-ordinator, so who’s the first person she asks when she wants to know if a particular date will clash with a sporting event…..me!
S14 season is particularly tough. If I ‘mnot required to fulfil a family or friends weekend social function, then I have an almighty battle with either wife &/or teenage daughter for pay-TV time.
Forgetmenot said | January 15th 2009 @ 11:46am | Report comment
Great article.
If i dont understand or like a sport, i force myself to watch a few games until i either decide i like the sport or it isn’t for me.
While i grew up with cricket, basketball, tennis, soccer and football + more, i had to make myself watch sports like gridiron, league and union to gain an appreciation of them. I have recently gained an apprectiation of baseball, and on the list to watch is gaelic football (ive seen highlights and seems really good), ice hockey + a couple of others.
I totally agree that living with people without an appreciation for sport is just plain boring. If living with several people who dont like sport, it is very annoying looking forward to watching your team play and then getting to the TV and finding ‘Friends’ or the NEWS is being watched by people clearly bored with nothing to do.
I cannot stand watching a sport event where i know the final score. I have yet to watch a replay of my beloved Cats yet!
Brett McKay said | January 15th 2009 @ 12:08pm | Report comment
Another great piece Ben, and I have a feeling you’ll be hard pressed to find any Roarers out here disagreeing!!
As for Spiro’s question, my personal highlight and lowlight in the excercising “collective will to change the outcome of play” came within seven days of each other during the 2003 RWC. I was sure it was because I was telling him to do it that Stirling Mortlock took that intercept in the semi v NZ. Similarly, I couldn’t have yelled any louder that “WILKINSON’S STANDING BACK FOR THE FIELD GOAL!!” during the Final – of course, he still got the kick away…
My greatest triumph in the sport watching stakes came just over twleve months ago, when the spare room was converted into The Sport Lounge, which included the renaming of an old couch as the Brett McKay Stand. Complete with a PVR and various sporting memorabilia, it was heaven. Until of course the death of the plasma just before Christmas, which forced the temporary relocation of the old telly back into the lounge room….
RIP Plasma….
Sam said | January 15th 2009 @ 12:21pm | Report comment
I think knowing sport is about understanding the principles of all sports even if you don’t particularly follow them. I think here in Australia we have a lack of really true good sporting commentators and writers. Most of them are hooked onto one or a couple of sports and generally comment on other sports in a way which makes people who follw that sport turn off (always referring to their loved sport as a basis). Better just not to comment.
Shows like Offsiders on ABC are good examples of shows which encourage diversity in sport in Australia. Hence you’ll find most people who actually know sport tend to work for non-commercial organizations.
Michael C said | January 15th 2009 @ 12:46pm | Report comment
Sam -
“I think here in Australia we have a lack of really true good sporting commentators and writers”
they’d be a dime a dozen everywhere else I guess??
really – - like them or not, the versatililty of guys like Sandy Roberts and Bruce McAveny is pretty good to superb- – Bruce especially has called just about everything and done so exceptionally well. Actually that NRL caller, Ray whatever who did the swimming at the Olympics………whilst he can come across as a buffoon……….he actually has a way of pulling you in…….a bit better than the real buffoon that was Daryl Eastlake.
The standard ‘live’ structure is the ‘caller’ plus the ‘expert comments’. So – - you don’t expect a multi code expert comments man? And the commentator only has to be able to call adequately – surely (whilst most of us really CAN see what’s happening for ourselves).
I know you’ve advocated soccer pretty heavily on theRoar – - now, there’s the main issue – - SBS……..the land of anything OTHER than Australian domestic sports……….and so we get the likes of Simon Hill and Les Murray who live like the old ‘home guard’ – - spending their time with their backs to what goes on domestically – constantly looking abroad looking for Heinkel 111’s coming in over the ‘channel…….oh, hang on, they probably don’t realise they’re actually looking at the Pacific Ocean and should be looking out for Zero’s.
Reality though – - is there’s only so much calling for true cross sports and cross code journalism………which tends to be more ‘big picture’ and tends to become more ‘business of sports’. However – - – in Melbourne – - – we’ve got radio SEN………we’ve got the ‘Offsiders’ effectively all day long.
btw –
I hate delayed telecasts ——— and calling at the tele “JUST KICK IT!!!” only to remember that in real time the actual game is in the 3rd qtr and I’m watching the start of the 2nd. But………it releases the tension.
btw -
my kids have been too young thus far to get into sports on tele, other than wanting to see the very start (the ‘broadcast sponsors’ and opening titles) – - I’m presently managing carefully their evolution into sports broadcast junkies……..hmmm….but, participation really must come first.
Rabbitz said | January 15th 2009 @ 12:57pm | Report comment
I have an admission to make. It is a terrible thing….
I think I am “getting over” watching sport.
During the last S14 and Wallaby seasons I was not fussed if I missed a game. I consoled myself by saying “the quality of the games wasn’t great so I am not missing much”
But I think I finally succumbed to the dark side when six overs into the first 20/20 against the Saffies I turned the box off and did something else because I was bored.
I am sorry for my sins but I am sure the devil made me do it!
Sam said | January 15th 2009 @ 2:44pm | Report comment
Michael C
A person who remembers names well is not necessarily educated in a sporting sense. Not that I say Bruce Mc Avaney doesn’t know sports. I might have my sporting prefernce but so do you.
The point is even though you dislike football (or soccer to you), I can sort of see you understand what the game is about even though you moan and whinge about it. I might get bored of tennis but I know the history of the sport and I can name you champions of the game and their strengths and weaknesses, and what grandslams they won on what surface etc.
One of the things about say a lot of people from Melbourne is that they thing rugby is one sport ?? Or people from Australia might think that football (soccer) is boring when there are no goals ?? How fairweather is that?
By the way there is one guy on Offsiders called Francis Leach who seems to have his finger on the pulse of all sports. Expert commentators for calling the game is OK. But when broad based sports jounallists like Rebecca Wilson are allowed to comment on a broad range of sports, well…thai is just gutter journalism.
Michael C said | January 15th 2009 @ 3:09pm | Report comment
Sam -
Francis Leach is also the drive home guy on radio SEN (he was on ABC radio back a bit, then did a stint on FM radio – - he loves his music too – - and once quizzed to choose between music and sport – he chose music!!)
so – anyway, he’s part of what I mean – - we’ve got radio SEN in Melbourne………you’d be surprised how much more we know!!!! I love the folk who often ring SEN with 2 gripes……..first one is about their AFL club, 2nd one is about say Storm, or Victory, or Chelski or……
Back maybe 15 years ago you might’ve had a point on the Rugby all looks the same – - but, now, we can discern the differences – - many of us have attended over the journey now (okay, I’ve not gone to Union but have gone to half a doz Storm plus a SoO – - – without attending Union……. I think I prefer Union………..but would never want to play it!!).
- — btw – - main thing about nil all draws……….just don’t go trying to force us to watch the ‘highlights’!!!!!
Redb said | January 15th 2009 @ 3:23pm | Report comment
Ben,
it’s why God invented Foxtel and IQ, bloody marvellous stuff for sports nutz.
MC,
I’m waiting for the ‘A’ team to return on SEN.
Redb
Michael C said | January 15th 2009 @ 4:13pm | Report comment
Redb -
in the mornings – yeah – - – for now, Ross and Burnso are back on 3AW.
Phil Coorey said | January 15th 2009 @ 7:43pm | Report comment
When the Red Sox are playing early in teh morning , I never sleep, I always get up and watch teh game. Otherwise I have these terrible dreams where they win one game and lose the next – it sux.
“You remember where you were when Stephen Larkham kicked THAT field goal”
Actually – I was at Twickers for that one!!!
Steffy said | January 15th 2009 @ 8:43pm | Report comment
I am english and live in england – I have no real interest in who wins SOO or the NRL Grand Final – but I love watching them – if that involves taking time off work to watch them live then so be it.
hayden said | January 19th 2009 @ 11:15am | Report comment
Sport is pretty much the only thing I will watch on TV, apart from Simpsons reruns of course. Most everything else on the box is an insult to the intelligence. As Benjamin mentioned, sport is unscripted and real. [Well, generally, Indian bookies etc exempted.] There are usually good guys, bad guys, and real drama, not some lame, predictable story line designed to wrap up nicely on the hour and stop everyone from having to think. I refer here primarily to American television.
Phil Coorey said | January 19th 2009 @ 11:24am | Report comment
hayden – don’t be quick to write off TV just yet – just because the commercial channels out here do not have a clue , doesn’t mean all is bad.
The Wire just finished and I think it is one of the greatest shows ever created – also Mad Men is excellent.
All is not lost!
check this out today as well, from todays herald…
http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/obama-is-walking-a-high-wire/2009/01/18/1232213445522.html
Forgetmenot said | January 19th 2009 @ 12:16pm | Report comment
Hayden,
Watch How I met your mother, brillant show.
Des said | January 20th 2009 @ 12:37pm | Report comment
I wouldn’t expect anything less from the master of sports journalism. Yet another brilliant piece Mr. Conkey!
jenny said | January 21st 2009 @ 9:13am | Report comment
Yes but who is winning the cricket Benjamin? Mum
Chop said | February 13th 2009 @ 10:38am | Report comment
I think I will be using this article to help with my answer the next time someone asks me ‘Why are you single?’
So I avoid all this and watch all the sport I can….
As for Pink Floyd, I still don’t ‘get it’….
Adam Pearce said | March 9th 2009 @ 2:48am | Report comment
Thankyou for this wonderful article i have sent it off to my mother who for the life of her cant understand why i would take time off from school or stay up till 6am to watch manchester united et al or my general obsession with sport.
No fights for the tv with me ive got my own tv and pay tv hooked up to it i’m in a sports nut paradise.
Lindommer said | September 24th 2009 @ 10:41am | Report comment
Mothers, they’re a problem when it comes to sport, aren’t they? My mother poked her nose into the TV room once when I was watching a Bledisloe Cup match from New Zealand. “What are they playing?” “Rugby (groan)” “Gee, it looks rough. (after a moment’s viewing) Why do they need a ball?”
I did a lot of very serious interviewing before entering matrimony,…and married a sports nut!
onside said | September 24th 2009 @ 11:27am | Report comment
Ah Pink Floyd,now there was a team.I once saw Kiss at Waverly Park.
They would have beaten Richmond that year, even though Richmond
won the flag. I have been a grandfather for over a decade now, but
years ago,in another life we used to inhale a little greenness and listen
to Pink Floyd. I once went to a GridIron game at Candle Wick park in
Los Angeles.Sitting right in front of us was a group of about ten men,
all neat,well dressed and behaved.These guys passed a joint up and
down the row amongst themselves during the game.We stuck to beer
because that’s what Aussies do at football matches.I remember a UCLA
marching band playing before the game.There were 300 musicians.
I counted 29 bass euphoniams.They played amazing music.It was very
emotional ,and made me cry.Thats a real bastard ,and the game had
not even started.I can see it now,a night grand final at the MCG.The
lights are turned off and the spotlight fixes on Pink Floyds airplane
delivering the matchball to the centre of the ground.Grand dads rock.
And let me tell you,if visitors dont understand sport ,there’s always
the hospice.In my house what I say goes.(please dont show this to
my wife,she doesnt understand sport)
onside said | September 24th 2009 @ 11:45am | Report comment
Correction above
It was Candlestick park in San Francisco
The home of the San Francisco 49ers
Not ……nevermind,you know what I mean
Papa Romeo said | September 24th 2009 @ 8:26pm | Report comment
Er, nurse…over here please.
Footbal Person said | January 20th 2010 @ 2:23pm | Report comment
Good Article, When ever my brother see’s me standing on top of the tv watching football he always asks me what im doing,of course my answer is always “cuz” ,he then proseeds to tell me that sitting won’t change anything. Not so, sitting three or four metres from the tv will change alot. By standing right up close to the action not only can I damage my eyes, but It will feel like im in the stadium.
My brother is a ManU and Liverpool “fan” who knows next to nothing about the clubs, so you can understand the type of football supporter he is.
Towser said | January 20th 2010 @ 2:38pm | Report comment
Watched Billy Connolly the other night being interviewed by his wife Pamela Stephenson, a psychologist.
She was talking about likes /dislikes & golf was mentioned.
He noted that he didnt “get It”. He then went on to say that in his sixties he realised that there were many things he “hadnt got” previously.
But whereas when he was younger he would “try to like the things that to him were unlikeable “& failed, as he aged he realised he just didnt” get it” and didnt bother.
Perhaps if we all took this attitude the world would be a more relaxed place.
Then again of course the Roar would not exist.
Lazza said | January 20th 2010 @ 2:49pm | Report comment
Sport is a part of the ‘entertainment’ industry but with a difference. Most popular entertainment features ‘actors’ who can’t act and ’singers’ who can’t sing and are only popular for their looks or image. At least you can’t hide in sport, if you haven’t got real talent you won’t be there. Sport at it’s best has real drama and suspense, unlike most scripted soapies and other TV shows that are so popular.
The most stupid comment though is “it’s only a bunch of grown men chasing a ball” or something similar. One English wit summed it up nicely. It’s like saying “a violin is nothing more than a bit of wood and cat gut”.