Oh yes! It’s that time of year again, when the foot-dragging, mud-chewing northern behemoths turn up in your local town – whether that’s South Africa, Sydney or somewhere in New Zealand.
You can hear the groans as southern hemisphere fans realise that the games will actually be on during waking hours, and they can’t use the excuse of “it’s the middle of the night” to avoid watching the great menu of northern hemisphere rugby as it’s served up on their TV screens and in their stadia.
As the club season winds down in Europe, and the finals being played over the next two weeks, the management of various test teams are busy dusting off their playbooks on boring rugby.
Scrabbling around in the academy ranks looking for 10 players to bulk out their test teams, writing sick notes for a number of senior players who’ve suddenly been stricken down with a head cold, and dreaming up the excuses for a tiresome southern hemisphere media corps on why they’ve lost yet another match against southern hemisphere opposition.
“Long season, old chap”, “few of the players weren’t feeling well” and “we only conceded six tries in the first half”.
Lyndon Bray and his merry men will be polishing their whistles, adjusting their headsets and buying numerous back copies of “I fought the laws and the laws won” to give out to the visiting team captains before every match, along with a personally signed photo of a grinning Steve Walsh for each squad member.
For the SANZAR teams, it’s bit of gastronomic foreplay before the main event.
Who can achieve a clean sweep of the dishes available?
Will the mighty All Blacks hiccup slightly after their annual helping of Irish stew, followed by two bowls of Welsh rarebit?
Will Dingo’s men lay waste to all around them in a giant quadruple-decker Fijian-Anglo-Irish crunch?
With all the soccer shenanigans going on in that other World Cup, will anybody be even paying attention when South Africa send out their Bull troopers, or should that be Stormers, to sample the north’s leading aristocratic plodders, les fromages bleus.
But no doubt the Springboks are relishing some fine Italian dining by the time they arrive in East London.
It’s going to be great!
Here’s the menu on offer to the SANZAR teams, to help stave off the hunger pangs as they prepare for the real meal, the Tri-Nations.
Aperitif anyone?
Cattledog
Guest
Yep, see your point.
Mr Saunders
Roar Guru
I can't offer a reasonable alternative, but for a club that is taking part in its first CL season to only be 20-1 is a bit skinny and not really worth a punt, IMO.
Derm
Roar Guru
Ridiculous as in they should be 200-1?
Mr Saunders
Roar Guru
It's only you, VC, Colin and a few others that I *debate* with, so I don't think any SH Roarers will be losing any sleep. The name WW was a bit of harmless fun, but in hindsight it seems overtly nationalistic. I'm a little bit bored of the anti-Australia/SH tags anyway. Harry did indeed crack it. The last few results were astonishingly good. Goodness knows what odds you would have got on the run-in results? I always lambasted Redknapp's record against the big teams, and then he only went and pulled off the Great Escape (so to speak). Shame about the FA cup. That result robbed me of my Grand National winnings. Apparently Spurs are 20-1 to win the Champions League. Ridiculous odds.
Derm
Roar Guru
Yeah - I'd worked that one out, Mr S. I did detect more than a smidgeon of the old KO in some of your more recent robust replies to Roarers. But I decided to leave it to you as to whether you wanted to unmask yourself in public, so to speak... Btw, Harry finally cracked it - eh? Let's hope they make it through the qualifiers.
Mr Saunders
Roar Guru
Absolutely. I totally agree. I just happen to think that in terms of 'styles make fights' I would always back France to beat SA. However, I wouldn't always back France to beat Australia - if you see what I mean?
Cattledog
Guest
Fair comment, however, they just haven't showed the consistency required at test level. 2010 may be different. Bring on the rugby feast!
Mr Saunders
Roar Guru
I would always fancy a *full strength* France side to knock over SA. France always seems to have a much stronger pack than the South Africans, and a more rounded backline. This current France squad looks pretty rounded, IMO.
Cattledog
Guest
France are always tough. Play out of their skins one day but seem to not turn up the next. Would be tougher at home I suspect. Would have thought the bickering about match payments may interrupt England's bid, you obviously don't see this as a distraction. Again, Wales at home, fair call but don't think they have the game. My Welsh mate agrees, however, happy to eat 'humble pie' if they do get up.
Mr Saunders
Roar Guru
No. It was not he. It was Mr. O'Neill. Btw, this is Wavell. I've gone for a name change (nothing cynical like banning, in fact I think I posted as WW a week ago...?). Just fancied a change... by using my real surname.
Derm
Roar Guru
The captain of Samoa?
Mr Saunders
Roar Guru
It seems that Southern Hemisphere teams *are* licking their lips. "I'm cautiously optimistic that 2010 could be a very good year for us and then we'll be well prepared for next year. Teams around the world are looking at us ... and I think the skill levels of our players frighten other countries. You don't see that sort of ball-in-hand play that much in the north, so I think we're in reasonable shape." Guess who?
Mr Saunders
Roar Guru
England defeated the NZ Maori in 2003 (9-23), and England Saxons defeated the NZ Maori (17-13) around two (?) seasons ago.
Derm
Roar Guru
Cattledog I think England in one of their two tests - likely the first one. Wales to take South Africa in Cardiff Ireland won't win either test - too many carried injuries and the front row/scrum is an on-going shambles that won't have been sorted out in time. The big match though is the one in Cape Town - South Africa v France. Tough one to call. Toulouse with a fair number of starters didn't make it through to the Top 14 final. But they are playing in the H Cup final this weekend. So a good part of the squad may have a bit of a rest before the 12 June match. They're also playing at sea-level.
Hot Springs Eternal
Guest
Test schedule - see above and add June 18 Ireland v Maori at Rotorua and June 23 Maori v England at Napier. The Napier game is going to be huge. First time Team England has ever played the Maori. No way the Maori will let themselves lose - the game celebrates a century of Maori rugby, and the place will be jammed. Official capacity at McLean Park is 21,000 but they'll squeeze twice that many in.
Kuri
Roar Rookie
Settle petal just a bit of light hearted banter. I have been to Canberra and I know what you can expect and I stand by my hills remark lol
Cattledog
Guest
Nice lighthearted article, Pots. Who's your pick from the North?
Derm
Roar Guru
Gary What I actually wrote was: ".....whether that's South Africa, Sydney or Somewhere in New Zealand." Ed changed the capital letter unfortunately.
Gary
Guest
It's South Africa, AUSTRALIA or somewhere in New Zealand, not "South Africa, Sydney or somewhere in New Zealand." Yes folks Rugby is played outside Sydney!
Brett McKay
Guest
Pots, I reckon they will, yeah. England in Perth strikes me as the possible danger game, just for the expat factor, though that could also be a problem in Sydney if the RFU bring out their standard touring party of 100,000 players, staff, and supporters (in roughly equal numbers too, isn't it?!?). I recall going down to Melbourne for a Test in 2003 and the Dome (now Ethihad Stadium) was nearly half-full of white jumpers (I got a bigger shiver up my spine during God Save The Queen than Advance Australia Fair, such was the volume). It seems the lesson has been learnt about playing Ireland in Melbourne, for exactly the same reason.. All four local Tests should be crackers though, I'm looking forward to all of them immensely.