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Oh yes! It’s that time of year again, when the foot-dragging, mud-chewing northern behemoths turn up in your local town – whether that’s South Africa, Sydney or somewhere in New Zealand.
You can hear the groans as southern hemisphere fans realise that the games will actually be on during waking hours, and they can’t use the excuse of “it’s the middle of the night” to avoid watching the great menu of northern hemisphere rugby as it’s served up on their TV screens and in their stadia.
As the club season winds down in Europe, and the finals being played over the next two weeks, the management of various test teams are busy dusting off their playbooks on boring rugby.
Scrabbling around in the academy ranks looking for 10 players to bulk out their test teams, writing sick notes for a number of senior players who’ve suddenly been stricken down with a head cold, and dreaming up the excuses for a tiresome southern hemisphere media corps on why they’ve lost yet another match against southern hemisphere opposition.
“Long season, old chap”, “few of the players weren’t feeling well” and “we only conceded six tries in the first half”.
Lyndon Bray and his merry men will be polishing their whistles, adjusting their headsets and buying numerous back copies of “I fought the laws and the laws won” to give out to the visiting team captains before every match, along with a personally signed photo of a grinning Steve Walsh for each squad member.
For the SANZAR teams, it’s bit of gastronomic foreplay before the main event.
Who can achieve a clean sweep of the dishes available?
Will the mighty All Blacks hiccup slightly after their annual helping of Irish stew, followed by two bowls of Welsh rarebit?
Will Dingo’s men lay waste to all around them in a giant quadruple-decker Fijian-Anglo-Irish crunch?
With all the soccer shenanigans going on in that other World Cup, will anybody be even paying attention when South Africa send out their Bull troopers, or should that be Stormers, to sample the north’s leading aristocratic plodders, les fromages bleus.
But no doubt the Springboks are relishing some fine Italian dining by the time they arrive in East London.
It’s going to be great!
Here’s the menu on offer to the SANZAR teams, to help stave off the hunger pangs as they prepare for the real meal, the Tri-Nations.
Aperitif anyone?
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.