As the season winds down, we love to celebrate the stars that make the A-League galaxy burn so bright.
Yes, it’s time to honour the best of the worst, the worst of the best and the worst of the worst.
I have put together a team with this express purpose.
It was a tough job paring the team down to our final eleven, but the manager’s strict wishes of fielding a team with a fake diamond midfield had to be adhered to.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the A-League’s Z-Team of 2012.
Goalkeeper
Liam Reddy (Sydney FC). He made the howler of the season against Melbourne Heart and then got sent home for drinking on the flight to Wellington.
Defenders
Brad Porter (Central Coast Mariners). A right back of limited ability who was exposed time and again whenever he took the field. So much so, he secured a more lucrative contract during the season to play with Bangkok United in Thailand’s Second Division. Yes, the redemptive power of football.
Pascal Bosschaart (Sydney FC). A sensible choice to fill one of the central defensive positions. He’s never scored in his long career but has the ability break the ice with opposition strikers. For example, Besart Berisha was so smitten with Pascal, he wanted to make post-game moves on him in the tunnel.
Adrian Leijer (Melbourne Victory). The captain of the Z-Team and a very dependable central defender. Especially, when it came to copping yellow cards, giving away penalties, and getting sent off in big games.
Byun Sung-Hwan (Newcastle Jets). The Korean left back scored two own goals against Melbourne Victory, and single-footedly gave Kevin Muscat a 100% winning record as manager.
Midfielders
Jacob Burns (Perth Glory). When it came to finding our midfield enforcer, the key performance indicator was who conceded the highest number of free kicks. Step forward Jacob Burns. Anti-footballer extraordinaire and the Z-Team’s boo-boy.
Leigh Broxham (Melbourne Victory). Speaking of boos, the only player to be booed by his own fans when making his 100th appearance for the club. His career might be over at Victory, but this achievement alone warrants a spot in our first XI.
Andy Slory (Adelaide United). The surly Dutchman played without a smile on his face. Slory hated football so much he called it quits early in the season at the age of 29. His honesty has been rewarded.
Carlos Hernandez (Melbourne Victory). The Z-team’s match winner. He won’t be required to track back and he will be strictly instructed to avoid threading a through ball to the front two for very good reason. Match fitness will not be an issue as he will not be asked to move during the game.
Forwards
David Williams (Melbourne Heart). One of the highest paid strikers in the A-League, Williams made only 15 appearances and scored one goal. That’s what you call value for money.
Maycon (Melbourne Heart). The 25 year old Brazilian import was described as a “development” player by Heart management after they quickly worked out that he wasn’t any good.
Manager
Mehmet Durakovic (Melbourne Victory). With a team like this, “What can you do?”
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Griffo
Roar Guru
On the bench: Tiago Calvano (Newcastle Jets) If you're locked at nil-all and need a couple of goals to write into the post match summary, send him on. A couple of penalties to the other team will set you right. Otherwise his polite dedication to man marking by giving the opponent a meter of space in the box to head the ball in should work. This compliments his Brazilian flair in defending the ball via a dummy through his legs to the penalty spot for his opponent striker to have a crack at Reddy.
Chop
Guest
Davo you had me until you mentioned Graham Arnold as the coach, you must not watch CCM games because they've moved along way from the 'plan A kick ball long' approach of years gone by.
Davo
Guest
GOALKEEPER: Liam Reddy, no brainer DEFENDERS RB: Heffernan, he's so over-rated. Got nothing in attack or defence for that matter. CB's: McKain, the most over-rated player i've ever seen. Leijer, team and coach killer. LB: Byun. He's got nothing. No speed, touch, awareness. One of the worst imports you'll ever see. MIDFIELDERS: Jacob Burns: Anti-football, hack, and a diver aswell (Henrique incident), scumbag. Broxham: Passionately despised by Victory fans, for obvious reasons. McFlynn: Too old, too slow, can't pass. Zadkovic: Goofball. Rubbish shots, dangerous tackles and treats his former club (Sydney) like trash. STRIKERS: Maycon: see article for reasons. Bridge: He's slow, with his feet and in the head. Lost his talent a long time ago. Coach: With all these players who are fond of the long ball. Why not have long ball king Graham Arnold coaching them?
Ballymore
Guest
There is a reason he plays in Hong Kong.
Ballymore
Guest
Funny read. Foschini and Fabio (signed based on his passport?) would provide decent cover at the back. Perhaps Topor-Stanley also. Despite not playing as far up the park, Pedj Bojic could cover Burns in the thuggery and anti-football department. I think your harsh on Bosschart, Leijer and Hernandez.
philipcoates
Guest
Yes, how could McKain not be in the squad. I recon he would play alongside and be challenging Leijer for the captaincy.
philipcoates
Guest
Like MVFC, this team will be fine once the ball hits the back of the net.
philipcoates
Guest
TomC, yes, you must be the only person who though Ado had a good season. He was at his best in the last two rounds. Watching from the stands.
Axelv
Guest
"Mehmet Durakovic (Melbourne Victory). With a team like this, “What can you do?” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
striker
Guest
Tiger totally agreed he Mcflynn should have gone seasons ago what a joke he is.
Tigerstoroar
Guest
You need a captain. Suggest that great plodder Terry McFlynn. Guaranteed to give away 2 goals a game - see his last effort of the season against the Phoenix. May that be the last we see of him in a sky blue shirt. -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download The Roar's iPhone App in the App Store here.
TomC
Guest
I seem to be the only person in Australia who thinks Leijer had a pretty good season... I'd put Luzardo in that team in his place. One of the most inexplicable signings in A-league history.
Futbanous
Guest
Regarding Liam Reddy maybe he has a Tardis. Then we could relate his howler against MH down to travelling back in time trying to escape Sydney FC officials, after the Wellington drinking binge. You also missed Harry off the list. Anybody who saw his half time instructions to Magic Jim recently would wonder whether its MJ or Harry to blame for MV's woes. Perhaps if we had seen more of the half time dressing room scenes when Mehmet was in charge we might not have been so critical. Mem sitting scratching his balls, a towel around his waist & Harry at the blackboard.
Bondy
Guest
I'd pay good money to see that side step out onto the pitch led by Adrian " I get more red cards than gametime " Leijer closely followed onto the pitch by the enigmatic Lee Broxham who likes to wrestle for an hour, I dont even remember the cameos from Brad Porter and he's from my own team .I notice John Mckain the" former" enigmatic Adelaide United captain didn't get a guernsey .
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
The team was selected with winning games in mind. Hence the selection of Burns as well ;-)
Titus
Guest
Yeah, Bosschaart? Are you serious? I don't see why you wouldn't just run with Leijer and Vargas as your starting centrebacks.
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
Considering late breaking developments re: Western Sydney. This team has been given to Ben Buckley as a template for success. Carlos needs a new team doesn't he??
Athas Zafiris
Roar Guru
Soul Ranch - Yes, I agree Beauchamp is worse than Bosschaart, but I had to give the team a chance of winning a game :)
Fussball ist unser leben
Roar Guru
I'd love to see Pascal & Besart in the same team ... that would create a locker-room dynamic to rival Yaya & Mario! ;-)
Soul Ranch
Guest
I thought Beauchamp was way worse than Bosschart. Guaranteed to do at minimum one stupid thing per game