What a game! What hype! What buzz! What drama! Even the lights went out on Monday, evidence that the Super Bowl requires more juice than physics and/or God can provide.
On Monday we Australians were treated to one of the best Super Bowls in the history of the sport!
At least, that was as far as I could tell.
I am a complete philistine when it comes to the game where the downtime outweighs the uptime sixfold.
I know nothing of the sport where there happens to be thrice the number of players in a ‘team’ than can legally take the field at any one time.
I wilfully and neglectfully shun opportunities to watch the football where there are more forward passes in one game than you would see in an entire Super Rugby season.
But despite my ignorant mocking of the machinations of the game that is enjoyed by so many in the land of the free, I do have a real bone to pick with Australia about the Super Bowl.
Wherefore do you care, Australia?
Especially you, you hiding, secretive NFL fans who found your voice on Facebook and Twitter at 10.00am AEDT on the fourth of February 2013!
“Go Ravens!”
“Come on 49ers!:
Was it all that emotion that you invested, all season long, willing the Niners to break their drought?
Was it all those years you spent as a long-suffering Ravens fan?
Had you even heard of the Ravens before they won the AFC Championship game and made it to the big kahuna?
Or did you just jump on the irresistible NFL bandwagon?
I will admit that I had only heard whispers of the Ravens’ franchise, and these were mostly mooted in drink-addled contests where participants were asked to name all 593 NFL franchises actively competing in the NFL.
And although pretty much all American sporting franchises have cooler sounding names than their Australian counterparts, I see this as insufficient reason for pretending to care about America’s biggest day in sport.
After all, none of us actually watch the NFL throughout the season, do we?
The Super Bowl, when placed in the jammed context Australian sporting landscape, has little to no impact.
It takes up a two-page spread the day before and the day after the game, and is never thought of again.
I would be surprised if the Super Bowl ever featured in any Australian’s personal best sporting moments of 20XX.
Of course there will be outliers and those who moved over from America, but the impact of the game to most of us is, yet it is billed as a ‘must-watch’ every year.
For this reason I think we should reflect on our true motivations for watching it.
Why are we really pretending to understand it, with all its boring and confusing timeouts, power shortages, half-time audience pandering and mind-boggling rules?
If the only purpose of the Super Bowl to Australians is to take up a few column inches in the newspaper and give people with a day off on Monday something to watch, then I think we should leave it at that.
We should just stop pretending to care.
It will save us the awkwardness of conversations like this one:
“Who won the Super Bowl?”
“Baltimore.”
“Baltimore who?
“I dunno. The Crows or something?”
“Uh huh… So, looking forward to Origin this year?”
It doesn’t mean anything to Australians other than an excuse to drink terrible American beer early in the morning, something I’m more than happy to never do again.
Let the Americans have it. They seem to like it.
I’ll take State of Origin, AFL grand final day, the Boxing Day Test, Bathurst 1000 any day of the week.
Hell, I’d even take Australia versus West Indies in a one-sided ODI borefest, complete with hours of rain delay.
Although Australia’s music, film and television industries may be bent over backwards by their American counterparts, giving us little choice but to like what they throw at us, our sporting industry remains our own.
I don’t see the reason to watch the Super Bowl just because it’s big.
There’s plenty enough on our patch to keep us occupied.
And it will save those who do jump on the bandwagon once a year the inevitable embarrassment of being vigorously quizzed by an actual NFL fan.
David
Guest
To Nigel Wakeley there is one football code between September and January in Australia it runs from October to May every year it's the Hyundai a-League and to myself I rather watch that than the superbowl any day of the year especially when my beloved Brisbane Roar will win the title for the third time in four years. I am a proud Australian and I rather support our own sporting teams than watch a sport with stopping and starting and they wear those pads and helmets when they all come off there's nothing to the particular player at all. I must admit i have tried to watch the nfl but I find it boring and I don't understand the rules so nigel there is a football code in the summer months in Australia and it is awesome and entertaining to watch.
Brandon Marlow
Roar Pro
This. This times a million.
Brandon Marlow
Roar Pro
Yeah, like performance enhancing drugs aren't rife throughout Australian sport SMH.
Not Inerterested
Guest
Or maybe here really dosen't like it and just telling it like it is. Go, enjoy your 12 minutes of action in squeeded into a 4 hour cure for insomia. No wonder fans of the game reckon the time it gives plenty of time to drink, you need to be blotto just to enjoy it. So when these fine examples of sportsmen that showcase the lastest advances in steriods (they only get a 5 game suspension if they get caught) parade in front of the masses in an advertisement dressed up as a sport, I glade you get some enjoyment out of it. So what if the author of this article and myself (and probably a few billion or more around globe) don't like it. After all we have free speech (to an extent) in this country and being a supporter of all things American you seem to be you should be embraceing this concept instead of trying to be little those who disagree with you.
cjones
Guest
Timmy, If not they can console themselves with the next best thing. A trip to Wembley.
Timmy
Guest
For one, there was a substantial amount of generalisation in this article suggesting that all Aussies have no care for the NFL apart from a 3 hour period on a Monday morning in February. Also in the article you posed the question why do we care? I would respond by asking why it bothers you that there is people in this country who support one of the biggest games in the world? I watched the Super Bowl this year, and I can say that I will definitely be watching it again next year regardless of what people like yourself have to say P.S. hopefully it's a different team in purple hoisting the Lombardi trophy this time next year!!!
DAVE DONNEY
Guest
Have a MBA etc,also have a keyboard that refuses to compress properly on the "submit " area of this article...too busy to go back and correct...even when I do ,same misspellings appear...?
mushi
Roar Guru
Horrible comment B.A. most people that went to school are literate
B.A Sports
Guest
You shouldn't have skipped school to watch the Superbowl dude.
Nate Hornblower
Guest
Couldn't agree more. When you make it clear your completely ignorant then you really shouldn't bother writing articles about something your unqualified to speak on. Worst article ever
DAVE DONNEY
Guest
I find it highly amusing that hey have "star" players and the like ho proffess to be great footballers when from schol, high school,college otball then into the pro ranks,they would have played for 10-12 years at least,and unless by accident,would not have touched the ball in a game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fanfare as we all know is the pecatcle,nbody says"did you see the md field tackles so and so made,or what great defene etc etc " low game andbest part wasprobably whethe lights wen off(obviously I had better things to do!!
Patrick Effeney
Editor
You disgust me.
DingoGray
Roar Guru
I for one Love the Super Bowl! As a fan of all things sport I always look forward to the Superbowl! I always make an effort to try and arrange for a day of to watch what is an absolute Fantastic spectacle! As for the Bandwagon...Well I'm a Eagles supporters.....So most of the time I do have to get aboard a band wagon for the Bowl! So the Punter within me ensure I was on the edge of my seat. Here's to The Ravens cleaning up the HF / FT combo!!!! The odds off 5-1 made it a very happy day for me!
Dane Eldridge
Expert
Very true my man, I did mention Boddingtons in a past piece, however I was rather drunk at the time. It's Millers all the way for me now.
Patrick Effeney
Editor
Thanks Dane, and you're right to mention the rusted on fans. They don't get a guernsey in the above, for obvious reasons. But from reading your stuff in the past, don't you mention Boddingtons as your beer of choice? A far cry from American swill.
mushi
Roar Guru
Should have used a baseball stadium to mix the sports more
Bunny Colvin
Guest
Did not get a chance to watch the game because some of us people have to work in order to maintain this country. It would have been nice for Ch 10 to have a highlights package on in the evening for the workers of Australia, better to watch that than the never ending reality show tripe they currently dish up to us. Any sport is better and this whole cultural imperialism angle of some Aussies, well here is some news for you. Our entire culture is swamped with overseas tv, music and film. After living overseas for a couple of years and returning, I thought I had moved to the USA. The language has changed and the people here ape Americans. It is pathetic I think on a society level. Having said that, and after watching "The Wire" it is good to see Baltimore winning something as their city is a complete shambles. That tv series is a view to the future of our own cities in the next 25 to 50 years if any of you are interesting in our fates. Also, it is good for the city of New Orleans, who hosted the match to come back from the devastation of Katrina. Remarkable effort. Hopefully we get a renaissance of Blues and Jazz music too that came from that part of the world, God knows we struggle to come up with anything original in Australia.
Nigel Wakeley
Roar Guru
One line bemused me - 'there's plenty enough on our patch to keep us occupied.' What sport in Australia takes place on a Monday morning between September and January? I'm not sure how following NFL lessens someone's time to follow their other chosen Australian code.
VS
Guest
I find your satire hilarious. Also, it was 95 yards.
Sailosi
Guest
Super Bowl week in Australia is almost as good as spending Super Bowl week in the US. The 20 year fans, the use of the term double coverage endlessly, the old remember that 86 yard drive by Randall Cunningham and the Eagles in 1990 just too prove your a 20 year fan. I love everything about it. I'll be in my LA Clippers jersey next year hoping they can make the Super Bowl next year. If they do I'm definitely heading to Madison Square Garden to watch it live. -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download it now [http://itunes.apple.com/au/app/the-roar/id327174726?mt=8].