What would you rather watch – paint drying or Test match cricket? If you’re anything like my mate Benny Gross, you’d take the paint without a second thought.
During my research for this article, I stumbled upon a Facebook page called “Watching paint dry because it’s still better than watching cricket” with a paltry 88 fans.
Come on guys, surely you can do better than that?
There are also countless news articles, blogs, discussions and various other gripes on the topic.
It got me thinking – what does Test cricket offer that paint drying doesn’t?
While watching paint dry, are you soaking in 136 years of rivalry and history?
No, not really.
Can you feel the heartbeat of a rookie opening batsman as one of the world’s premier fast bowlers comes roaring in with a 150 km/hr bouncer to the head?
Can you experience a crowd on their feet watching a player like Adam Gilchrist score the second fastest Test century in history after scoring ducks in his previous innings?
Can you experience ‘the iceman’ Steve Waugh as he stepped up into the face of Curtly Ambrose, one of the scariest fast bowlers of all time and said “what the **** are you looking at?”
While watching paint dry, can you experience a single delivery that became known as the “ball of the century”, when Shane Warne pitched a deliciously vicious leg spinner which turned past Mike Gatting’s outside edge to just clip off stump?
Can you watch Steve Waugh score a gritty century off the last ball of the day at a packed out SCG?
Can you watch Glenn McGrath completely mow down the English cricket team at Lords to finish with career best 8/38?
Can you experience the heartache and sportsmanship of Andrew Flintoff consoling a shattered Brett Lee after the thrilling finale to the 2005 Edgbaston Test?
Can you watch Ashton Agar, a Test debutant coming in at number 11, score a record breaking 98 runs to write himself into Ashes folklore?
No siree.
There are some people, like the Bennys in this world, that would prefer to watch paint dry over Test match cricket.
To you, I say: “You’ve never truly lived.”
Bayman
Guest
Timmuh, Ten square metres seems a bit much. Surely it cannot be very long before we see a 'five square metre' form of the competition, followed by a two square metre version. Imagine the thrill of having to only wait for two square metres to dry, especially with the new high-tech dryers available today. A fast game is a good game! Very soon we should have paint which practically dries as it goes on the plasterboard. It just could not get any better than that, surely?
bigbaz
Roar Guru
I enjoyed all of it. Great article and some clever blogs ,very good Timmuh.
Timmuh
Roar Guru
I had a great time at the paint drying world champs last year. For those not in the know participants have to coat 10 square metres of plasterboard to the satisfaction of judges, then are allowed to use artifical means to dry the paint so long as they do not touch the surface and the end result must have no blistering. Fair dryers are used by many, but blisters are an issue. The gloss guys get all the media, but matte finish is the purists' game. I still prefer Test cricket though. NB: The above may be a pointless, time wasting fiction. Or maybe not.
JGK
Roar Guru
Speaking of Test cricket - Tendulkar just got sawn off in his 199th Test. A decision that would have been overturned by DRS.
Matt Sterne
Roar Rookie
Thanks very much Ash! Yep, I am a die-hard fan that is for sure... Best game on earth :) Cheers
Sideline Comm.
Guest
Seriously, a nicely put article, but it's on a cricket blog site. It's not like anyone who reads here is going to disagree. It's why we're here.
Atgm
Guest
Beautiful article mate.i feel the same way about it.kudus to u mate made my day
TT4
Guest
Enjoy it while it's still around.
Statler and Waldorf
Roar Guru
but test cricket is my favourite form of cricket
Statler and Waldorf
Roar Guru
not true - just use a slow drying paint and you will have plenty of time to ensure you have enough empties for the snake
JGK
Roar Guru
Damn those SACA members!
Jay
Guest
Agree 100% with Matt, but there must be a lot of Bennys around at Australian Test venues. I came all the way from Singapore to watch the Adelaide Test last year and my experience, let alone money, was marred by guys who drank huge amounts of beer and spilled it on the way, yukh !! Few of them seemed to care about the nuances of the game.
abigail
Guest
You only have to visit one of these type of sites to feel the passion of cricket tragics that live and breathe the game, its history, traditions and now various forms. We'll argue (in good spirit and humour) over selections, selectors, commentators, pitches and any thing else even remotely connected to the game. We represent all walks of life including ex prime ministers. Better than watching paint dry any day. Now watching grass grow (especially on a test pitch), might be a different matter entirely.
Brett Osmond
Roar Rookie
For me honestly, I agree with Matt aswell, I would take Test cricket over paint drying any day of the week and twice on Sunday, there is nothing better than going to a test, the atmosphere, the crowd, the competition. Or watching it on the TV, volume blaring, with a BBQ going out back, cold beers in the fridge and the anticipation of the next wicket. I look forward to days like this all year and soon, the Summer of Cricket will begin.
JGK
Roar Guru
It's hard to have a beer snake at a paint watching session.
Statler and Waldorf
Roar Guru
As someone who worked in the paint industry for over 30 years I can tell you that watching paint dry is very under rated
Ash
Guest
Beautiful article Matt ! your passion for cricket just shines through. now, usually I'm not a fan of Test purists, but how I wish the rest of the traditionalists just had even half as much passion for our great sport as you do. Cheers.