Though it may seem easy to name a World XXIII for rugby in 2013 – any 23 New Zealanders – I have selected a team based on my criteria, which will be rational, yet arbitrary and somewhat idiosyncratic.
A few of my rules: New Zealand has a quota of six in the starting side, South Africa gets at least five, and in the larger squad of 23 we must have at least two Aussies and one Frenchman.
Due to Wales’ surly and truculent attitude, they will only be awarded a place if I am gracious.
English players can make it, if they emigrate and qualify for some other team.
My team will not be based on history; only this year. Also, I will not be sentimental – Richie McCaw may be a World Heritage site, and one of the world’s greatest natural wonders, but he and Brian O’Driscoll can sit on Mount Olympus and watch my team play.
Also, I like props who are never dominated at scrum-time, and so they must not be in the team primarily for their ‘play around the park’, or ‘work rate’.
I like them to work hard, lift clean, smash loiterers at the ruck, and rag doll flyhalves, but first, they must scrum like behemoth beserker brigands.
I like hookers with stamina, and I think line-out throwing is not just a minor issue.
Locks must be scary. I don’t subscribe to second rowers who are run over by flyhalves (even once, ever) or put up with any shenanigans.
They need to be able to lift a house, do the pommel horse on the goalposts, and inspire foul oaths and imprecations among their foes. Maybe even cause their opposition to bite them, in frustration.
Loose forwards must be smart, hungry, and ruthless. I like them to be comfortable in any spot on the field, if they find themselves in an unusual position.
I like scrumhalves with beautiful, fast passing skills, because that’s 95% of their job. If they kick well, and see the field, that’s great, too.
I like a flyhalf who is magisterial, but not afraid to tackle. Do we have any, any more?
Midfielders need to be athletes with a penchant for collisions and eyes that swivel; but at No. 13, it’s nice to see some trickery, too.
Wings must finish. Tries, tackles, chances, matches.
Fullbacks must have super high rugby IQ and an educated boot, along with some verve.
So here is my team (with the bench eight in parentheses following their position):
1. Tendai Mtawarira (Marcos Ayerza)
2. Stephen Moore (Bismarck du Plessis)
3. Nicolas Mas (Matias Diaz)
4. Eben Etzebeth (Paul O’Connell)
5. Sam Whitelock
6. Willem Alberts (Liam Messam)
7. Francois Louw
8. Kieren Read (c)
9. Fourie du Preez (Aaron Smith)
10. Aaron Cruden (Quade Cooper)
11. Julian Savea
12. Jean de Villiers (vc)
13. Conrad Smith
14. George North
15. Israel Dagg (Willie le Roux)
Israel Folau was unlucky not to make it, but he spent most of the year figuring out where to stand when he didn’t have the ball. He’ll make it next year, I’m sure.
Willie le Roux, on the other hand, was everywhere a guy should be.
Wesley Fofana is unlucky, but Conrad Smith is clairvoyant and just won’t give in or up.
Bryan Habana scored some crackers, but he still gambles on defence too much, and Savea was a revelation.
Ben Smith is the world’s luckiest wing, but he is unlucky here.
If Quade Cooper had played a few more Tests, he might have taken the starting No. 10 jersey from Cruden, but I have to give it to an All Black, given the importance of the flyhalf in the New Zealand system, and his role in the unbeaten season.
The Argentine locks are unlucky, but they lost too much to get more representation.
Sam Cane and Steven Luatua are unlucky, but Alberts and Louw were deadly all year.
Bismarck falls to the bench because he needs to work on this throws.
Cian Healy is unlucky, but I don’t like how short his arms are at scrum time.
What do you Roarers think?
Jerry
Guest
JDV may have scored when it mattered most, but he immediately followed that up by letting in a try that mattered even more.
IvanN
Roar Guru
anyone gets a single tackle wrong on the day - But 9/10 times I think Alberts would flatten Read. I dont think there are any SA forwards that tackle as hard as he does, ive watched some of his highlights and figured out why - as he makes the hit he seems to get a leg forward and on the ground, anchoring and pushing a low centre of gravity through the man. He also seems to get under the arm and drive upwards. very effective... you only need to youtube some of his hits to understand. When the Boks were still playing a combination of Burger Rossouw Spies - I said that we needed to reunite the Stormers loose trio which dominated in S14 that year, and when Burger returns in 2014 - we will have that Louw, Burger, Vermeulen - With Alberts and Arno Botha off the bench. SA will be more competitive against NZ next year, once the locking pair of Etzebeth and Pieter Steph is formed, with the return of Burger, Backline to get Goosen which will make a difference too.
IvanN
Roar Guru
I dont think the Boks need to adapt to the faster game, They wont beat NZ that way - they need to slow the game down and force NZ to play their game.
DSF
Guest
JDV is the best 12 in the world atm
Chan Wee
Guest
didn't he come off 2nd best tackling Read? and left the field in fact !
Chan Wee
Guest
@ Harry Jones : not forgetting some of the best banter and reactions in 2013. first he got up and shook hands with Alisena Tuilagi after a clothsline tackle , with a perfect white smile :) then he had a few chats with refs about the ever-infringing all blacks. last but not least he became peace envoy - when NZ had given a wrong name in team sheet. if there was a price for sportsmanship , he would surely take it !
LMOB7
Guest
Hi BB Just cant agree with FDP. Did not show me what everyone else saw. You know my favorite is A smith. LeRoux and JDV whom I rate highly most certainly. Cheers all
ohtani's jacket
Guest
Wales don't play the All Blacks three times a year.
Ben.S
Roar Guru
Halfpenny broke into the Wales side as an electric winger in the Shane WIlliams mould. He doesn't play like that for Wales any more, so people only see him being safe under the high ball and his place kicking, when previously he only took long shots Turning your TV off during a Test... makes sense...
TrueBlue
Guest
Mere mortals like you and I will never know what goes on in the mind of someone like McCaw. I saw a comment by Michael Jordan about why he would risk coming back and tarnishing his legacy by playing for the Wizards when he was too old and battling injury. He basically said he knew he would regret just giving up and not finding out if he still had it. Guys like that only build a legacy because they are so driven they are willing to risk it on the chance that they might be able to add to it. I'm sure that McCaw still has the drive to see if he can win another super trophy, another bledisloe, perhaps a world cup. Once he retires, there's no coming back at his age. Hansen has the freedom to drop McCaw if he thinks someone else is better. Right now there isn't. Sure, Richie looked a bit slow in November but he'll pick his moments
PeterK
Roar Guru
so you rate Halfpenny but he has never done anything damaging against the AB's either, a double standard ...
ohtani's jacket
Guest
I don't think Dagg was significantly better than his opposite number in any of the tests we played this year. It's hard for me to rate Folau until he does something damaging against us (that's just the way I'm wired), but if you want to go the try metric then Folau had 10 and Dagg none. I quite like Halfpenny, so I wouldn't have a problem with someone choosing him.
Sage
Guest
Had to read that last "ps" line of yours a couple of times Moa. Didn't read well the first time........ xx
Frank O'Keeffe
Guest
It probably doesn't help that I turned the 3rd Lions Test off after the 60th minute. All I recall was a bad scrum and lots of penalties...
Ben.S
Roar Guru
Dagg hasn't really done anything of note this season beyond being reliable. Nothing to write home about.
Ben.S
Roar Guru
Kearney had an average/bad 6N - like the entire Ireland side - but he is most definitely 'there', and quite comfortably too. And as for Halfpenny I 'd suggest watching the 3rd Lions Test again to see Halfpenny's counter attacking ability. It's his misfortune to be playing in a one dimensional Wales side, just like it was Quade Cooper's misfortune to be playing under Robbie Deans.
Frank O'Keeffe
Guest
Also with Folau... He could make more tackles. He's a great tackler, but often he's not in the right spot to make more tackles. He's a bit like Larkham (that's a compliment) in that Larkham didn't look like a conventional five-eighth, especially with his kicking, but he was an excellent runner and a handler. Folau's not a great kicker, he's just solid there, but his running skills and ability to bear the player are incredible. So many times a mere All Black ankle tap saved the day in that last Bledisloe. The last two years of Bledisloe rugby have been horrible, and I don't get excited for them like I used to, but the last Test had a good performance from the Wallaby backline, and the European Tour was very good too... Maybe the Wallabies can challenge them next year. Again, 10 tries in his debut year and one of the Wallabies four in-form players (Moore, Hooper, Cooper, Folau), he's close.
Frank O'Keeffe
Guest
How are you Daniel? Who would you put as fullback then, Halfpenny or Folau? I don't know if you saw the Six Nations, but Kearney really isn't there. Folau's not the total package yet, though he is just about the Wallabies best player. He's a little too talented for his own good - thinking he can beat the player instead of passing. Nobody noticed he blew a try and an obvious overlap against Wales by going on his own. Folau will probably be the world's best fullback next year. The thing about Folau is, I think he could have scored more tries this year if Cooper was always five-eighth. Cooper needs a fullback like him, and Folau needs Cooper. Halfpenny is okay. He made one good counter-attacking run against the Wallabies when there was nobody there to defend him. But he's mostly a reliable fullback who occasionally comes into the line when he plays SH sides. Also, while his kicking is always good, but general play isn't as good against SH sides. I'm shocked you gave that to Quade... absolutely shocked! Quade was number two on my list, but I never thought you'd give it to him! I'm not sure if you saw many All Black or Springbok Tests in the UK, but Smith isn't there for me. But as you say (and as I said), there's not much going on at 9 these days.
WQ
Guest
Hungry yes, ruthless yes, smart? As for finding himself comfortable in any spot on the field, I think that is stretching the boundaries of his abilities.
chann wee
Guest
Jane next year ... he is still lacking match fitness. NZ have too many world class backs. Savea , Jane Piutau , barrett , Halai , all fighting for the 3 spots , given ben will be at center till conrad is back. Lolagi Visinia of blues and Kurt Baker of highlanders are 2 to watch (particularly Baker won 7s player of '13 at NZ awards). both are Fb/wing breed :)