I almost felt sorry for Tyler Hamilton. Almost. Of course, I knew this would happen.
It was why I had refrained from buying his book, The Secret Race, in the first place.
I had no interest in reading about his excuses and warped justifications for becoming a drug cheat, but more than that, I didn’t want to ‘humanise’ Hamilton. I didn’t want to learn about his background, or the pressures he was under, or his hopes and dreams.
I wanted him to remain ‘just’ a drug cheat. After all, it is easier to maintain the rage against a name. It becomes harder when that name becomes a person.
But deep down I guess I was curious, so when on a recent holiday I spied his book reduced to some ridiculously low price in the window of a discount book shop, I could resist temptation no longer.
I almost felt dirty buying it. I didn’t want to be seen funding a drug cheat, so when the girl asked me if I would like a bag for my purchase I was thinking, “yes please, and make it a brown paper one!”
I went back to my room and threw the book on a bedside table and there it sat for a day, two days, and then three, with Hamilton’s grimacing face staring up at me from the cover as he sat hunched over his bike, with the steely eyed Armstrong hovering menacingly just behind his right shoulder.
On the fourth day I succumbed, dipping in a toe. Minutes turned to hours.
I was enjoying the read despite myself, but worse than that, I was beginning to like this Hamilton character, beginning to identify with him. He was, horror of horrors, becoming a person.
He even made me understand why he doped and made me seriously question what I would do under the same set of circumstances. I am ashamed to admit that I can’t categorically deny that I wouldn’t have done the same thing.
But then he lost me. Just like that. As easily as he had gained my sympathies, he blew them away and it only took half a paragraph.
After dodging drug testers and sticky situations for years Hamilton was finally busted and forced to sit out of the sport that he loved.
Lesson learned, one would have thought. But what did he do when he finally returned to the sport? I’d give you one guess, but I know that you’re already there.
“During my career, I’d looked like a boyscout and doped,” Hamilton wrote. “Now, in my comeback, I looked like a rock-and-roller and raced mostly clean, without Edgar (EPO). I did take testosterone a couple of times. Be assured: it (not taking EPO) wasn’t some sort of moral stand.
“I’m sure that if somebody had offered me Edgar, I would have taken it, no questions asked.”
Sigh.
Yes, I know that Hamilton is not the only serial doper out there but after reading his book and getting to know him over several hundred pages of candid revelations, I expected more.
He no more learned his lesson than Danilo Di Luca did, or Riccardo Ricco for the matter, although the less said about him the better.
And so, after flirting briefly on the side of the dopers, I’ve returned to my previous stance of having absolutely no tolerance whatsoever for those who try and cheat the cycling system.
After all, Hamilton and the others did have a choice, and they chose poorly. Australia’s Bradley McGee is an excellent example of someone who made the right choices, despite being under pressure to go down the doping path throughout his distinguished career.
In an article that appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald soon after Armstrong’s world began crashing down thanks to a direct hit by the now infamous Reasoned Decision, McGee spoke openly about his experiences as a rider in what was perhaps the pro-peloton’s most ‘juiced up’ era.
Of course, he was mad as hell.
“I was competing not just against Armstrong, but against the Armstrong years. I feel my professional years – my Tour de France years – have been stolen.
“The more I think about it, the more it makes me mad as hell. But I have to move on from the fact that I have, more than likely, missed out on results and revenue, plus more, because of others doping.”
Missing out on results after busting a gut was Hamilton’s main reason for exploring ‘other avenues’ and one wouldn’t have blamed McGee for also straying from the straight and narrow. But unlike Hamilton, he didn’t.
“During 11 years as a professional, I was confronted by doping several times by people from all walks of cycling life – including riders, support staff and doctors. Each time I was able to say, ‘no’.
“Over time, and never faltering on this stance, the confrontations became less frequent, then non-existent.”
So it could have been for Hamilton, who like McGee, enjoyed an honest and solid upbringing with a strong belief in what was right and wrong.
I know I’ve used this quote by acclaimed women’s cyclist Nicole Cooke in my articles before, but it is worth revisiting again here.
“I do despair that the sport will never clean itself up when rewards of stealing are greater than riding clean. If that remains the case, the temptation for those with no morals will always be too great.
“I have been robbed by drug cheats, but am fortunate… but for many people out there who do ride clean – people with morals – many of these people have had to leave the sport with nothing after a lifetime of hard work, some going through horrific financial turmoil.
“Spare a thought for all those genuine people who walk away with no rewards – just shattered dreams. Each of them is worth a thousand Lances.”
Or Hamiltons, or Riccos, or Di Lucas, or… you get the picture.
These heartfelt words were spoken by Cooke on her retirement and offer a powerful reminder of what dopers did, and continue to do, to our sport.
Don’t be sucked in by tearful confessions. The true victims of doping – those who rode (and continue to ride) clean – are the ones who should have our sympathies, even if they haven’t written a ‘best seller’.
Ben of Phnom Penh
Roar Guru
"Proton Pills" if memory serves :)
jeznez
Roar Guru
Well written Sean. That Nicole Cook quote is awesome. Having read the headline and with memories of athletes dropping dead I thought the real victims were going to be the drug cheats themselves but your McGee and Cook quotes highlight another group that do not automatically come to mind. Top article.
jeznez
Roar Guru
Roger Ramjet was a much worse role model for kids when it came to taking performance enhancing drugs.
jeznez
Roar Guru
I think Lex Marinos said it best - we should ban diets and training - they are performance enhancing as well!
tony meadows
Guest
flicker I agree that anyone guilty of assisting in or benefiting directly from the doping is accountable.Where the evidence is there, they also hould be punished,however lets not distract from the prime responsibility that the rider has.Its only if riders refuse to cheat can the problem be erased. Temptation is a very human fallibility,everybody is at sometime tempted to do something wrong and its only personal resistance that overcomes,so its the rider who carries the can whilst others carry a secondary responsibility.
flicker
Guest
Tony, the most complex issue here is that you would have to hold everyone accountable, doctors team owners sponsors, even clean risders who knew who a doper was, wives girlfriends, anyone who knew. That is very complicated.
delbeato
Roar Guru
I agree with a lot of this, but my major problem is your insistence on viewing doping morality through the prism of riders' decisions only. We know there's much more to it than this - pressure to dope from external sources. I agree that such pressures aren't an excuse, but by dismissing them that way, we let all those other factors which contribute to doping - including the people who are responsible for them - off the hook. The article headline - Let’s not forget who the real victims of doping are - is most apt. Clean riders are the real victims. But discussion tends to focus on the villains - almost always identified as doped riders - which is telling only a part of the story. Why do team managers who organise or turn a blind eye to doping get a free pass? Sponsors who hire riders with a proclivity to dope and insist on results? Simply focusing on shaming riders who succumb to these pressures is also serving to perpetuate the very problem people claim to want to stamp out.
tony meadows
Guest
Ive not purchased a "dopers" book because I wouldn't want to put my money in their pockets.I can also say I've not read any of their books for pretty much the same reasoning you gave Sean. In terms of written work on the issue the very best I've read was Nicole Cook's explanation of how she felt and what it must have meant to the less successful riders who endeavoured to compete against the dopers. As for how to finally stop doping and prevent its return in the future I would like to see Lance Armstrong loose the legal cases he is involved in with resulting financial penalties in excess of his winnings and contract earnings paid as a result of his cheating,AND,as a punishment for his fraud and conspiracy to encourage others to cheat he should go to prison.HARSH?A couple of bank clerks who together cheated their bank employer would CERTAINLY end up in prison.Why should he be treated any differently ?After all he was SO in business.
flicker
Guest
I don't feel cheated by Tyler at all.He was very entertaining. If he is for real as he has written, he will live with his shame, for the rest of his life. If he is not real anf comes up with the," I had a great weight lifted from my shoulder" then he will continue to live a lie. Either way, Tyler will remain a loser. Bozo the clown hairdo says it all. No self respect that man.
Sean Lee
Expert
I agree we love to see records broken and super performances, but I think the disappointment that supporters feel when they find out that a performance is fake speaks for itself. Yes, we want to see fantastic achievements being made in sport, but not at the expense of those athletes competing clean. Is gaol the answer? I don't know, but I'm sure it would be a fairly powerful deterrent. But, then again, those who are determined to cheat will do so whatever the penalty. There will always be someone willing to roll the dice. On the topic of health and safety with regards to drug taking, I think we'll have to agree to disagree.
IronAwe
Guest
Sean, I can see your (and others) point, however if it were allowed, then I think you would have LESS deaths and risks because the athlete could be open about what he took and how much etc and therefore could get the ongoing assessments and treatment required to ensure his/her health wasn't at risk. People forget that steroids are still administered for health reasons and there are people taking these drugs without any problems because it is done under doctors supervision. The one argument that does certainly hold water however as stated by LukeC above, is that it does certainly send the wrong message to kids Also, I can't help but feel that we, the fans, are partly to blame. We WANT to see athletes breaking records, showing super human endurance and strength, we want to see times reduced and new heroes come into the spotlight. I don't think as someone above suggested that a jail term will stop it, as it hasn't exactly stopped crime, which it was intended to do, so I think that's a dead end. However, if you could modify the sport, so that drugs aren't the advantage they used to be, then I think you will have your solution. If say, I don't know, but if you made it so that brain power and quick thinking gave you the greater advantage, then I think drugs would stop being used. Again, I don't know how you would do this though.
HardcorePrawn
Roar Guru
To be fair to Hamilton, that Sideshow Bob look was pretty short-lived IIRC. It must've dragged in the wind during races too.
Sean Lee
Expert
Yes, anyone who gets caught doping from here on in is a fool and deserves a lifetime ban. Of course it's not as easy as that (those pesky lawyers are smart buggers) and proving beyond reasonable doubt that someone has doped can be a difficult thing, despite what the various tests may reveal.
Sean Lee
Expert
Wish I had have thought of that! :-)
Sean Lee
Expert
Hi IronAwe, you are not alone in your suggestion to open things up and let the athletes take whatever they want, but I think it would be a very dangerous way to go. We don't want to return to those days not so distant past where young, fit cyclists suddenly started dropping dead in their hotel rooms. As well as the negative impact on an athlete's health the sports themselves now have a duty of care to provide a safe(ish) work place for its participants. Imagine the outcry if things were opened up now and an athlete died as a direct result of doping? It would be the scandal to end all scandals! Unfortunately I think we will always have dopers in our sport but we owe it to the clean riders to put in some sort of effort to fix things up.
Sean Lee
Expert
Agree Steven, sporting that 'do' could quite possibly be a bigger crime than the doping itself!
Steven McBain
Roar Guru
On a side note, I'm tempted to say I don't like Hamilton purely on the basis of that haircut. That is one shocking barnet.
Steven McBain
Roar Guru
I have to agree, I think just allowing everyone to take what they want is wrong. Who knows what the long term effects are. It's a very depressing subject ultimately ruining sport for many people. I used to love watching Le Tour but I don't bother anymore, you just can't take any of it at face value. The fact that so much money is still being poured into steroids tells me it's still rife in many sports. Lifetime bans the only way to get the message across. The problem with that is that many people who commit crimes and go to prison get a second chance and lifetime bans deny that right to anyone who transgresses. I'd like to see jail sentences as an answer. If you could find a way to make it some kind of criminal fraud (possibly linked to the fact that people bet on the outcomes of sports) and start jailing people for a coupla years I think that would be a huge deterrant and would make people seriously think about doing it. That way there's a deterrant and also a 2nd chance that could come around.
Minz
Guest
Well played!
The Archmeister
Guest
Well informed, spot-on article, Sean. Cheating in all sports (as in life) will always come down to personal integrity and respect for self and others. Unfortunately, society doesn't generally reward good personal ethics. There will always be individuals that are prepared to sell themselves out ... perpared to run the gauntlet of being caught cheating for their share of the money and the glory.