The depression debate has raged through rugby league and the wider community for some time now.
With players like Reni Maitua and Willie Tonga coming out openly about their respective brushes with depression, I’d like to think we’re all becoming a little more aware.
Depression is a real thing, it exists and it hurts not only those who suffer from it, but the family and friends of sufferers.
This week we’ve seen the stories of Darius Boyd, an enigmatic and talented young footballer, check himself into a clinic to deal with depression after it emerged he caused damage to a luxury hotel room in the Hunter.
Good for him. I applaud his decision to get help. He is such a decisive personality that most people pass judgement on him easily.
However I’ve been astounded at some of the negative comments and feedback he’s receiving. I have to ask, if it was a player who was generally liked by the public who broke up his hotel room and then checked himself into rehab, would the response from the public be different?
I can’t speak for Darius, every person goes through their own struggles, but I do understand something of depression. I suffered with both depression and anxiety over a few years and even though the worst of those days are behind me, there are still times those two inflictions rear their ugly head.
I’d like to think I’ll never have to worry about it ever again, but the truth of the matter is that I’ll probably have to manage it for the rest of my life.
I’ll watch for any signs I’m relapsing and be ‘aware’ enough to make the necessary changes to my lifestyle to avoid falling back into those negative habits.
How do I know the signs? Education. I got help. I spoke to someone and over the course of a few months, with a lot of help and changes to my lifestyle I slowly recovered.
I learnt that in my case growing up watching my father suffer badly from depression just lead me down the same path. Is it too much of a stretch of the imagination to say that while I copied my father’s coping mechanism, that Darius developed his on his own or even adopted it from another family member?
When I look back at the times I suffered the worst, I was not myself. I feel embarrassed by some of the things I said and did while depressed.
The anxiety ate away at me and pushed me to act or react in ways that now seem so ridiculous to me, but at the time felt completely justified.
It was a day-to-day struggle with fight or flight in every situation. I was beyond tired mentally and emotionally. There were times I snapped. I felt completely hopeless, completely cut off from any help and did not feel like anyone would understand.
So I suffered in silence.
Why am I telling you all this? Because it’s important for you to know. I have the good fortune of not being famous. My meltdowns and panic attacks were never splashed across the back page of a newspaper.
Sure, Darius needs to learn that he is a public personality whether he likes it or not and should act accordingly. But somehow attacking the guy because he is a sporting personality is just not on. He needs help. He is only 27, I’m not much older and I can’t even begin to say I’ve got it all worked out, why should he?
Darius Boyd might be a lot of things to a lot of people, but at this moment he is just a 27-year-old man suffering from a disease that attacks you from the moment your eyes open to the moment you pass out and all the money or accolades in the world won’t help.
So Darius, all the best mate, hope things work out for you.
If you are suffering from depression or anxiety please go to http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ for help.
turbodewd
Guest
Ok, so Darius smashes a hotel room and now he has depression...sorry, im suspicious.
Scrubbit
Guest
Why should he be suspended for it? If that's the case then the commonwealth bank CEO should be suspended for getting drunk and doing donuts in a golf buggy on the resorts front lawns. P
The Barry
Roar Guru
DOW - I had a cold chill and a sick feeling a couple of weeks ago when it was suggested that he might be heading to Belmore.
mushi
Roar Guru
On the last link – cool – I’m pretty sure we agree. though I would contend it is more the actual NRL player (Boyd) rather than any NRL player (i have no data to support this statement) On the first one nope wasn’t what I was even vaguely referring to but hey give us some more linky links On the second it was from the ABS, I apologise for not accurately referencing my sources I was unaware that was the threshold for Roar comments. It is ABS 3303.0 download the excel spreadsheet, tab 11.2 I used a five year range feel free to use another. Now contrary to your unsubstantiated claim the ABS does not reside in my ar$e Not sure why the 10 minute version is bizarre, you’ve got an awfully high threshold for my content here requiring every statement to be referenced and supported. The 10 minute disclaimer, which again apologies was inaccurate as I did not have someone independent time the process, was intended to day that anyone could do a simple back of the envelope (and I also highlighted that it doesn’t say much given the difference in the size of data sets)
mushi
Roar Guru
Directing the topic? it was a third tier single line response that only you seem to have seen it as anything more than a glib line that did nothing to derail the topic for the next umpteen posts.
mushi
Roar Guru
Why, you missed the point again and failed to look at my post in the context of the series of replies. JG was expressing alarm at the number of NRL players that have some kind of mental illness, an undertone was that it seems incredulous that so many do have depression, I pointing out that I recalled statistics that NRL players actually do have higher rates than the average population. I did try to use the words “I think” (tough to miss as they are the opening two words) to differentiate it from a statement of fact or concrete assertion as the promotional material I’m referring to was around 2009 or early 2010 so whilst I have a reasonable level of confidence as to the source and the content I also certainly can’t really be bothered trawling through the internet for a five year old flier that may or may not still be out three. After giving it more thought I do believe it had the term “serious” in there in front of mental illness which does change my comment. Outside of it predating some of the initiatives that you believe I may have confused a comparative statistic with, I think it would be absurd to suggest that someone would confuse statistics of one sport raising awareness more than others (though you didn’t put any stats here... hmmm is that the faint waft of double standard soup?) for the comparative rates of serious mental health issues. Lets be clear I’m not having a shot at what the NRL does to promote awareness of depression, or that it is higher or lower than other sports, I was simply trying to say in a very short manner that people shouldn’t be cynical of the high rate of these admissions. For the record I am perplexed that in a thread with dozens upon dozens of unsubstantiated claims that you seemed to require a peer reviewed study in support of my two line comment.
Cathar Treize
Roar Guru
Oh please. Instead of people giving advice on perhaps just walking away or notifying security we have the typical "it doesn't happen in other sports other than NRL". How's directing the topic with lies providing debate to the topic. Only on league threads to we see a majority topics go off track deliberately from the anonymous.
mushi
Guest
I didn’t make light of the topic I made light of the suggestion that the only people commenting on the admission in a negative weren’t indeed NRL fans. I do see the delicious irony in being told to pull my head in by one of the games great social commentators who believes that we shouldn’t be embarrassed by fans threatening a young person’s safety because it’s happened in other sports. Thank you for bringing a little truth to a glib comment.
Andre Georges
Roar Rookie
James, Cheers mate, appreciate the kind feedback, and having been through it yourself you know how hard it can be. Thanks for reaching out.
Andrew
Guest
Very true cathar and reading peoples opinions reflect John LAwtons comment.
bangbang
Guest
You're so full of it. Just because he is on a wage all of us dream we could be on doesn't mean he couldn't possibly be suffering from depression. Unfortunately it's a disease that can effect anyone, regardless of pay grade. As much as the poorer don't believe it, money doesn't always buy happiness. As for the difference between the rich and poor trashing a room, as long as you pay for whatever damages are caused you don't go to court. Example, I have trashed a room in my past and immediately got the money together to pay the hotel and they accepted that, no legal aid, barristers, or court. Don't know who you got your information off but I suggest you find out the truth before posting, yes?
Cathar Treize
Roar Guru
Mushi, perhaps this is the article you read about footballers having high rates of depression (sadly for you not rugby league) http://www.theroar.com.au/2014/04/03/football-players-have-high-depression-rates/ And Mushi here is not one of your best trolling efforts along with some keyboard hero called Sideline Commentator whom together attempt to make out rugby league/NRL players have a higher rate of suicide than the rest of society and you give a bizarre "10 minute version.." which has no evidential link bar numbers you pull out of your a#$e. http://www.theroar.com.au/2013/05/06/player-depression-is-it-our-fault/ This other Roar article from 2012 is based on general depression in the football community, covering all codes. When an NRL player is not named, the general support/sympathy toward those with depression is vastly supportive & different to what we are reading now. Surprise, Surprise. http://www.theroar.com.au/2012/12/12/players-get-the-blues-too-depression-a-sad-fact-of-football/
BA Sports
Guest
Dallas, You are right, "Darous" isn't a bad person just because he doesn't like talking to the media. I am sure most of the players don't like talking to the media. But it is the way he treats people, and the media are the ones we se, that make him an average person. You can still be polite, thats what everyone else does. And while a moment of poor manners or behaviour can be a result of depression related issues, being serially rude to select people isn't.
Cathar Treize
Roar Guru
Would help if you backed up your statement with some fact? The NRL have a Beyond Blue Cup during season and many players like Preston Campbell do great work with speaking about depression. Perhaps the statistic you saw was that the NRL does more to get out there & promote depression which assists not only the sport but highlights it on behalf of other sports in the process.
Cathar Treize
Roar Guru
Pull your head in, the only one sounding like they drool & drag their knuckles is you. Glad you can make light of this topic.
Cathar Treize
Roar Guru
too true.
Cathar Treize
Roar Guru
So many generalisations about NRL players you ain't funny. Never heard of a link between alcohol & depression? And you work in the public hospital system, figures with the amount of misdiagnosing that goes on there. See I can generalise too.
James
Roar Guru
This is a brilliant article mate. This literally sums up everything I couldve said on the subject. I too have suffered from anxiety and depression, everything you said I couldn't have disagreed with. Look forward to reading more from you!
Gazzatron
Guest
Thanks mate I appreciate the kind words. After the last few weeks of media attention and then hitting the booze and smashing a hotel room, I'd be feeling pretty sorry for myself and depressed too. Is Darius depressed or is he suffering from depression? Those are the questions I think are the key. I think everyone gets depressed at some time in their lives but not everyone has depression, if you know what I mean....
AlanKC
Guest
from the SMH article: "It is believed Boyd did not cause the damage but had contacted the hotel to offer to pay for repairs to a broken television set and a hole in a wall and carpet cleaning. Knights chief executive Matt Gidley said on Wednesday Boyd had been cleared of any wrongdoing." I'd like to see the person who did cause the damage stand up.