It can’t be easy being a conspirator. I imagine the hours are long, the stakes are high and, given that one must work in secret and with the future of the world in one’s hands, the pressure must build frighteningly over time.
So I’m surprised to find that conspirators have found time to continue to destroy the finals hopes of the North Queensland Cowboys.
What with faking the moon landing, bringing down the Twin Towers, forging Barack Obama’s birth certificate and enslaving the populace by putting fluoride in the water, how would they have the time?
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And that’s before we even get to vaccination and murdering or faking the deaths of JFK, Elvis, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Tupac and Biggie Smalls. On the other hand, even Steven Spielberg has passion projects and shoots a small film from time to time.
What really gets me about conspiracies though is not that they exist (we all know that), but how they actually work. What are the nuts and bolts, day-to-day machinations required to pull it all together? I want to know.
Over the past three years so many people have assured me that there is a conspiracy against the Cowboys. There must be some Roar readers who can answer my questions. Here’s just a few of them.
1. Who is in on it?
Is it just the referees, or is it the NRL too? Does the NRL issue conspiratorial directives to the referees or do the referees act alone (but, you know, collectively)?
2. If it’s the NRL, how high does it go?
It started in 2012. So when David Gallop left did he brief David Smith about the need to continue the conspiracy? Or maybe just give him a folder or a flash drive?
Maybe it doesn’t go that high, and there’s an independent sleeper cell operating at lower than executive level. If so, what’s their end game?
3. Why are the conspirators out to get the Cowboys?
Is it just because they are Queenslanders? If that’s the case, why did they let Brisbane win all those comps? Or, did the conspirators just start disliking Queenslanders after the Broncos won the comp in 2006?
If so, why? I think Queenslanders have been objectionable for decades, so why start now?
But maybe it’s not a Queensland thing. Maybe the conspirators just want Sydney teams to win. If so, why did the conspirators let Melbourne win the comp in 2012, the year the supposed conspiracy began?
Why would they like Melbourne? They’re not from Sydney, and they have Queenslanders. It’s so confusing.
4. Why do the conspirators always stop the Cowboys in week two of the finals?
Why don’t they stop them in week one? Why don’t they stop them making the eight at all? By conspiring against the Cowboys only in week two of the finals each year, the conspirators create a pattern and leave a trail.
They are drawing attention to their activities and risk being unmasked. Are the conspirators getting sloppy?
5. Why did the conspirators help Manly beat the Cowboys in 2012, but not help Manly beat the Roosters in 2013?
Did they go off Manly, or do they only work in week two? Why did the conspirators help Cronulla beat the Cowboys in 2013, but not let Cronulla go further? Why did the conspirators help the Roosters beat the Cowboys this weekend?
If the conspirators plan is to just let Sydney clubs win the comp, why don’t they give Cronulla a break and let them win a comp? And why have they not helped Souths for 43 years? Why are the conspirators so consistent in week two, and so unpredictable in every other week?
Actually, that’s not just a few questions is it? It’s a lot. That’s the thing about conspiracies – they always ask more questions than they answer.
But I hope you can answer some of these. If you can, please put an “x” in your window or post them to me, care of the World Bank.
Joel
Guest
darling chickens of the N(SW)RL
dogforlife
Guest
no mention of all the NSW players that get off at the judiciary over all the years to allow them to play when they should have been sidelined.
dogforlife
Guest
Nope hes in on it for sure
Kevin
Guest
Queenslander adults crying conspiracy theory are a disgraceful example of bad sportsmanship for the youth. The Bronco fans used to do it every time a judiciary decision didn't go their way and now the Cowboy fans do it every time a decision doesn't go their way. Grow up if you want to play with rest of Australia's adults.
mushi
Guest
How can it "clearly go backwards" and potentially be "flat". If it was clearly backwards then there is no scope for it to be considered flat? I do like that you've also got such a precise measurement that whilst you can't narrow it down from clearly backwards to flat you can rule out it travelling even a millimeter forward.
Kilbongteb
Guest
Why does the nrl wanting to make money need to be a conspiracy? There's no conspiracy going on, just a business, and that's why cowboys were robbed
Jay C
Roar Guru
You are assuming the conspiracy is designed to be in the best interest of the game and/or financial. Now, I don't believe for a second in any conspiracy. I don't believe the NRL is smart enough or capable enough of pulling it off. BUT, if there were to be a conspiracy, it wouldn't specifically be about generating more TV viewers. For starters, the TV contract is done. I am not privvy to it but I don't think it contains bonuses for increased viewers etc. So they don't really have to worry about TV viewership for about 18 months. The only avenue they have for increased revenue is bums on seats. Secondly the NSW contingent of the powers that be are buried so far up their own blurter they are still eating last nights Roast Lamb dinner. They are interested in the success of personal interests over the game, every day of the week. Take Origin, Game 2 this year. It was an absolue farce. Anyone who argues differently is just ridiculous. Yes it was great NSW won. But it was an awful, awful game of Rugby League. And it was allowed to be an awful game by the powers that be. It was designed to be like that. Those referees were issued an edict to referee that game in that manner without a doubt. Thirdly, prejudice isn't something you really have to work hard at. It can be a subconcious thing, and it can be something that is built directly into the system. But anyway, I don't think there was a conspiracy.
Joel
Guest
That's right Cedric, the claim is that the N(SW)RL is Sydneycentric, the claims of conspiracy comes from NSW ... and then they argue about it amongst themselves lol, what a bunch of knobends
eagleJack
Roar Guru
What I find amusing is that supposedly intelligent people actually buy into the fact that something sinister is going on. Here's a couple of points to ponder 1. The NRL Grand Final gets around 80k irrespective of who plays. Even when 2 non-Sydney teams play - 2006 - Storm v Broncos (79,609). Or when a Sydney club with a smaller supporter base than others vs a non-Aussie team - 2011 - Manly v Warriors (81,988) 2. The NRL are quite clear that TV revenue is the number one aim. That's why they got $1bn from the television networks. So why would they intentionally alienate a huge market like QLD? Wouldn't they be better off having a QLD team in the GF to maximise eyeballs, not only in Sydney, but QLD as well? I live in Brisbane and know plenty of people who will not be watching the NRL from this moment on, now that the Cowboys are out. They want a QLD side to follow. It could be marketed as a SOO battle. Cause we know how much QLDers love SOO. Ratings would be far, far higher. Bringing in more and more $$. If I was trying to conjure up something to benefit my back-pocket I'd make sure a QLD side was in. But then again, I don't know the first thing about conspiracies.
Benny
Guest
Yeah I don't remember that one, but I think there's contentious strip calls every week. I seem to remember Brandy Alexander coming out with a stat midway through the year that said that the refs were getting roughly 50% of those calls wrong.
Northern Guy
Guest
I just hate how people can say that the ball was knocked on when it clearly went backwards or at the very extreme worst, flat. Anyone who fails to see this needs to get their eyes checked.
Paul
Roar Rookie
I seem to remember a contentious try awarded to the Cowboys when they played Manly in the 2012 semi. I also remember a contentious try they scored against the Sharks last year. Lets not mention the try they scored off the back of a blatant forward pass against the Roosters ths year. People, Queenslanders in particular, only remember the dodgy or 50/50 calls that go against them in a game, not the ones that benefit them. Respect to JT for not taking the bait Gordon Tallis was throwing out when he interviewed him immediately after the game. You could see he was disappointed in losing but deep down inside knew it was a knock on by Lui.
Gaz
Guest
Problem being those that steer towards what appears to be a satisfactory outcome for the NSW Rugby League only get 20k to a match anyway. Seems such a waste of time and effort. Queensland needs to take the hint and resume their own competition with perhaps Melbourne, Auckland, Png and Pacific Islands and have a real fat time. Fittler, Gould, Stirling, the boys in Pink and Channel Nine can stick it up their own blurt.
Marco
Guest
Maybe there is a conspiracy. But why only do it to the Cowboys . Just do it to all the QLD teams........... and The Storm. Keep things even.
Cadfael
Roar Guru
Fair enough but it doesn't explain how he got away with the strip against the Panthers.
Cadfael
Roar Guru
Had it been neck and neck throughout the game, possibly but the Cowboys lost it when they were 30 down. It was a bridge too far.
Slartibardfast
Guest
Conspiracy theorists are just people with paranoid personality disorder. That however does not mean that someone is not out to get you.
Cadfael
Roar Guru
It did in last night's game. The referee ordered a scrum but initially gave the feed to the wrong team. A player had to explain the rules to the referee. Later in the game, a blatant forward pass to an offiside Manly player was missed. It would have been a kickable penalty. Shortly after, DCE tries for a field goal only to be put off by offside players getting involved, again a kickable penalty.
Benny
Guest
If you watch the replay again you will find that linnet had his hand on the ball which is a penalty every game. I hardly think you can say he is a protected species as refs get these calls wrong every week
Cadfael
Roar Guru
My only issue is with SBW. Against the Panthers he stripped the ball from a player getting up to play the ball, the decision? Lost ball,, scrum to Easts. Against the Cowboys, Sonny Bill drops it cold and its a penalty. No conspiracy but it does seem that SBW is a protected species. Is this a way of trying to get him to sat in league next year?