It's time for the NRL to ban the head pat

You often hear professional athletes proclaim that they instinctively knew when it was time to retire. It’s not uncommon for great sportspeople to acknowledge they woke up one morning and simply said to themselves “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

It’s no doubt a sobering moment coming to that realisation, and I imagine it’s probably in no way similar to the experience I encountered yesterday, when I woke up and suddenly realised I’m getting old. Very old.

Initially this ageing sensation was due to the fact that I wasn’t jealous that I was not at Splendour in the Grass – a sign, if ever there was one, that I’m no spring chicken any more.

This acute awareness of the ageing process engulfing me was then compounded by my intense anger about an issue in rugby league so minuscule, and so insignificant, that surely me yelling at clouds isn’t too far away.

The massive issue I talk about that threatens not just the future of rugby league, but of civilisation itself, is of course the amount of ‘head patting’ that goes on in the NRL.

Make no mistake, cheeky head rubs are the NRL’s Armageddon – of this I am sure.

In fact, it’s not even the first time I’ve warned everyone about this apocalypse, as I have previously bemoaned this classless act creeping into rugby league, and complained about it on The Roar way back in Round 3.

My fury on this topic surfaced again during the weekend, when, on Sunday afternoon, in the 79th minute of the Bulldogs versus Sharks game, Brett Morris unfortunately knocked the ball on. This handling error ensured the Dogs could not score again and therefore effectively ended the game.

As Morris lay on the turf – naturally despondent – Sharks forward Andrew Fifita walked over and gave him a condescending head pat.

It was a needless gesture of un-goodwill from Fifita, and – allegedly – far from the worst thing he’d done on the weekend.

One would think that after the reports he abused match officials on Saturday in a Penrith District Junior rugby league game, Fifita would be keen to keep his nose clean and show a little bit of sportsmanship.

Sadly, the big prop is not wired that way, and he was instead the centre of attention all Sunday afternoon for all the wrong reasons.

Apart from the headlines swirling about that involved he and his brother David, Fifita also displayed all the ‘skills’ that make him one of rugby league’s bad boys. He conceded countless penalties, sledged the opposition, yelled at the referees, and to top it all off, gave the Bulldogs fullback that dreaded head pat.

It’s this last act that I would like to focus on, as the rest of Fifita’s ‘efforts’ on the weekend have – and will be – well publicised this week.

Let me be clear – the head pat is a blight on the game of rugby league.

It’s a disgraceful look, intended to do nothing more than embarrass and belittle your opponent. It’s disrespectful, classless and lacks any wit or cleverness.

Do we really want young kids thinking it’s an acceptable part of the game? Because with the amount of NRL players that currently hand out a head pat, it’s certain to be copied by youngsters very soon – if it hasn’t been already.

It’s an absolute disgrace, and should be stamped out.

Now I freely admit, if you ranked the problems facing rugby league, the head pat wouldn’t crack the top 100. The NRL probably rightfully believe they have bigger fish to fry.

However, the head pat remains symbolic of the inherent disrespect a minority of rugby league players consistently show.

Rugby league has an image problem, and it’s naïve to believe otherwise.

At the heart of this problem is the fact many players have no respect. Not for referees, not for their clubs, not for fans, not for women, not for sponsors, not for opponents, not for alcohol, not for themselves. And not for the game itself.

Head pats may be just a minor issue (or no issue at all, in some people’s minds) but it’s an easy one to stamp out. How? Make the head a complete no-go zone.

The heads of players are already protected during tackles, with any contact made with this area of the body a penalty or suspension waiting to happen. Why not go further, and rule any contact with the head – at any time in the game – illegal? Yes, a head pat should be a four-week automatic suspension.

While making rules about players drinking alcohol, and handing out suspensions for off-field incidents, can be a tricky minefield to navigate for the NRL, making a clear-cut ruling on heads pats is easy to implement, and even easier to adjudicate on.

Touch the head, and you’re sidelined for four weeks. Simple.

Heavy handed? Over-the-top? Ridiculous? Turning the game into one for sissies?

Maybe.

However, I’m pretty sure it would stop the immature, disrespectful act of head patting, which can only be a good thing.

It may even signify the start of the NRL demanding some of their players act in a more responsible manner, and learning to be more respectful.

Rugby league should aspire to better. Considering it markets itself as ‘the greatest game of all’, it should at least try to live up to it.

It’s well overdue.

Now that I’ve dedicated an entire article to the stupidity of head pats, and feel even stupider for doing so, I think I’ve at least made my point. While also successfully proving that I have indeed become an irrational, grumpy, old man well ahead of time.

So I’ll get off my soapbox, grab my pipe and slippers, then go have a lie down. And don’t you dare give me a head pat while I do it.