Last Sunday, at a country rugby field, among the autumn leaves gently falling and the cool wind gusting across the ground, Wallabies scrum coach Mario Ledesma took a group of players and coaches through their paces.
The worshippers stood quietly in a rough semi-circle, listening intently to the sermon, which was punctuated with long-range jabs and taps from a sawn-off broomstick.
“Scrummaging is simple really,” Ledesma said. Win the chest. Stay square. Extend the upper body. No need to move the feet, or angle in, or to use any of the dark-arts style tactics so jealously guarded by grizzled, old-style props holding forth in the gloomy corners of bars.
Using those tactics, said the guru, was actually counter productive. If someone in the scrum is doing their own thing, it means that the other seven are down a man. And if two guys in the front row are doing their own thing, then hardly any of the shove is being channelled to where it matters.
The Mario Manifesto laid waste to much conventional wisdom, and left in its place a series of disarmingly simple philosophies. During one exercise, a loosehead prop angled out around his opposing number and wheeled the scrum. After the set piece had disintegrated he came up for air, expecting praise for his crafty tactical win.
Ledesma looked dismayed. No no no, he said. Hips out? Overextended? Wheeling? Such an easy call for the ref, he said in a sorrowful voice.
Later another young tighthead prop drove masterfully through his opponent, straight and level. It was a textbook manoeuvre, and the crowd appropriately oohed and aahed in appreciation, only to see the prop buckle and backpedal before their eyes and end up back where he started.
Ledesma’s puppy dog eyes looked sadder than ever. “Why did you stop?” he asked in genuine wonder. The young prop looked embarrassed. “I thought I’d won,” he said.
“No no no,” Mario said. “Never stop pushing! Never give up!”
“And as for collapsing…Ah,” said the prophet. “Collapsing is just giving up. It is a conscious decision. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.”
And above all… everyone must do the same thing. Consistency is the key. Everyone must work together.
“If everyone is square and no-one is adjusting the feet and we all staying on and not collapsing and we are pushing together… then we win. Simple!”
Simple indeed.
So looking across the rubble of the Australian rugby landscape the last few weeks, it was hard not to put the events in a scrummaging context.
The Brumbies CEO Michael Jones splintered the Brumbies board front row with a straight shove, before the board angled in and wheeled him around, leading to a brief collapse. The referee, after some deliberation, decided to repack the scrum and award the feed to Jones. A ripple of surprise ran through the crowd.
The scrum debacle had followed some brief on-field coaching from Bill Pulver, who ran on the water and relayed a few instructions from ARU HQ to Brumbies chairman Robert Kennedy. Kennedy’s wheeling tactics didn’t work out and it remains to be seen whether he can beat Jones in a straight shove contest.
In Queensland, good guy Richard Graham finally got subbed after taking a bath in every scrum he packed for the last two years, and down south, outgoing Waratahs chief Greg Harris was caught on camera asking for the scrums against the Western Force to be moved out of the Perth mud patch to a better patch of grass in Western Sydney.
A few weeks prior, centre Brett Papworth, more known for his step than his scrum, was busted by scrum coach Pulver for a rant against the big guys up front, saying that they weren’t pulling their weight. Papworth unfortunately proved what many forwards have always suspected, that backs, despite their claims to superior intelligence and confident tone of voice, don’t always get it entirely right.
Whatever the issue facing Australian rugby, the three main tenets of the Gospel According to Mario – stay square, work together, and never stop scrummaging – seem more appropriate than ever.
The underhanded tactics abounding in Canberra and the lack of recruitment transparency in Queensland are but a couple of examples of the opaque political and tactical nature of Australian rugby administration. The average spectator has no idea what really went on behind the closed doors in either locale, he just knows that it stinks. Staying square, they aren’t.
Of course, much of this could be fixed by having the various administrations aligning and acting in the best interests of Australian rugby, but the enmity which has been allowed to build and the lack of engagement from both the ARU hierarchy and the grassroots alike, sees everyone poles apart.
Frustratingly for the ARU, they have become the banker of last resort, but have little say in the administration of the state franchises. Given the six-figure rescue packages the ARU has handed out to embattled franchises over the last few years, it’s perhaps not too much to ask that they pack square and work together a little more with HQ.
As for never stopping scrummaging, whatever happened to the wonderful engagement and goodwill built up during the Wallabies charge to the World Cup final last year? Of course we have had the inevitable off-season with its interminable cricket against everyone (and some of them twice), but the connection seems to have faded away like smoke on the wind.
Instead, a macabre curiosity in Eddie Jones’ early success with England seems to have distracted us from the cool little hookup we had going with our Wallabies last year. Just like the young prop in Mario’s scrum session, we seem to have forgot that just because we made some headway, doesn’t mean we can stop pushing.
Perhaps I’m overdoing the metaphor. Regular readers will know that it is a failing of mine. But standing in the cool, high-altitude air, watching Mario poke and prod with his broomstick, it was hard not to believe that some of the powerbrokers couldn’t have learnt a few useful lessons by being there.
In the last scrum of the session, it all came together. Everyone was square with hips level and backs straight. The halfback fed the ball. Eight upper bodies extended and sixteen feet anchored deep into the turf.
For a beautiful moment, the eight became one, an awesome unit of irresistible pressure, driving forward at will. Faced with such disarming unity, the opposition had no choice but to yield. They fell back and crumbled, beaten.
Mario got it right. If you stay square, scrum together, and never stop pushing, you can’t possibly lose.
Perhaps it’s a timely lesson for Australian rugby.
Bakkies
Guest
'It’s a cost due to issues with private ownership dissolving.' and Rebels financial mismanagement that led to heavy debts. If it wasn't for the ARU the NSWRU and QRU would have been dissolved over a decade ago.
Train Without A Station
Roar Guru
Yes but people's interests are being marginalised at the ludicrous pursuit of the greater good for the game as a whole. If these so called "heartlands" are falling apart without constant investment in them, how strong are they actually? Does the AFL spend more on strengthening the game than expanding the game? I think they actually finance the expansion through the heartland.
Ken Cathpole's Other Leg
Guest
Johnno, rumor has it that he celebrated his tenure with a cupa in the tea room, then took the tradesmen's exit and the fire stairs to his purring bmw which then took him from St Leonards all the way back to Mosman. All under the cover of darkness. Johnno what's with the conspiracy? Last OZ rugby finished a very dramatic couple of years in great shape. There is a lot to be proud of and encouraged by.
Squirrel
Guest
Johnno your back. The heartlands and rugby nurseries are deliberately being attacked and dismembered by the ARU in order for them to have more control.
Johnno
Guest
Hawker left very quietly, was he pushed or did he resign?
Bfc
Guest
Hawker is gone...but Pulver is still 'holding the reins' at the ARU HQ...though it seems he has little control over the rugby beast.
sheek
Roar Guru
Loges, Of course your article highlights the why Australian rugby needs to square up, but we all continue to be divided as to the how & what happens after that.
Train Without A Station
Roar Guru
I can assume you were a back.
Train Without A Station
Roar Guru
Papworth uses it as a claim of ARU largesse and waste. That is not the case. Papworth did not mention this. He just referred to the cost the ARU spend as a governing body, when that is not the case. It's irrelevant whether it was a loan or not to the Rebels. It's not a cost due to ARU mismanagement. It's a cost due to issues with private ownership dissolving.
Worlds Biggest
Guest
Great stuff Loges, suggest the ARU lock up Super Mario long term and have him work at all levels. The metaphor is very apt, don't rest on your Laurels ( ARU ) and keep pushing.
rayfinkle
Guest
have always said the set piece is much simpler than many make out.
concerned supporter
Guest
TWAS, You are the world champion of incorrect postings. You must get your accountant to explain to you Financial Statements. In 2014 (2015 has not yet been published) ARU salaries claimed as an expense was $25 Million.This did include Rebels salaries.The ARU did not consider the Rebels salaries as a loan.but as an expense against the ARU Income of $105 million. Brett Papworth is right, you are wrong.
Mick Gold Coast QLD
Roar Guru
Uhh ... who do you mean "we", Kemo Sabe? ... and I won't be needing a "selfie" from you, it's too late. ;)
Zero Gain
Guest
Nice article, but those scrum analogies are a little inaccurate. Collapsing is usually the result of pain and wanting to stop it. Not just 'giving up'. That is insulting to many front rowers. And often that pain is caused by your opponents exercising the 'dark arts' as you describe them. It's nice in theory to promote the straight and narrow, but if your opponent is using tactics designed to make you very uncomfortable, they will often gain an advantage. I know, I did it from over 25 years and had lessons from some of the best. Some very, very painful ones. And loved every minute of it.
Zero Gain
Guest
Post a selfie Mick so we can decide if we should take you seriously...
Johnno
Guest
Im starting to care less and less about OZ rugby, ARU under Bill Pulver are selling out the die-hards and grassroots rugby. There 7's obsessed now, and women's rugby obsessed,Melbounre, and west sydney obsessed, but real aussie rugby the heartland is being sold out. St Josephs college(Joey's) will have an AFL team for the first time ever this season. A disgrace. This school has produced more Wallabies than any other. CAS/GPS/ISA need to merge in Sydney as well, but the stubborn GPS headmasters aren't interested in turning there schools into rugby factories and having more competitive comps. They just want there own little comps, regardless if it's in OZ rugby's best interest or not.
OJP
Guest
Hi Rugby Stu, the 'Spartanesque scrum phalanx' is both a great visual and a worthy reference and I totally agree with the sentiment expressed in your comment; so with that acknowledgement out of the way, allow me to go into full Ancient History geek mode. Apologies in advance if you were / are across this stuff. Whilst its arguable that Sparta had been in steady decline for some time due to the exertions of the Peloponnesian war and their strict laws relating to citizenship depleting their available manpower, the final nail in the coffin of Spartan military dominance in the region was hammered home by the Thebans, at the battle of Leuctra in 371 BC. In this clash, the Spartans deployed in their tradition hoplite phalanx and did their usual thing of crashing into the enemy and in essence, trying to push through / over them by working in strict concert with each other ... like the scrum! The Thebans, led by Epaminondas, debuted what became to be known more widely as the 'oblique order' in which rather than deploy their troops evenly across the whole front and pushing straight ahead with roughly equal force, they stacked one end of their battle line much more heavily (ie with more depth; eg 24 soldiers deep rather than the usual 8 -12 deep the Spartans typically went with) and concentrated their efforts on trying to break or 'turn' that end of the Spartan line; whilst simply trying to maintain a status quo along the rest of the line. This worked spectacularly and they won the battle easily and assumed the mantle of the dominant military power the region; albeit only briefly*. Those nasty Thebans didn't keep square and wheeled the scrum ! * Philip of Macedon (Alexander the Great's father, despite what Angelina Jolie tries to imply in the awful movie 'Alexander' ) spent time as a captive in Thebes shortly after the battle of Leuctra and learnt of the oblique order. He subsequently implemented it use into his Macedonian Phalanx but to give his soldiers an additional edge; he also armed them with even longer spears / pikes (the 'Sarissa') than the Thebans used, who had themselves 'outgunned' the Spartans by introducing longer spears than the Spartan's traditional approx 2 m spear (nb the Macedonian Sarissa was around 6 meters long). In subsequent clash between Thebes and Macedonia, the Macedonians won out and assumed the role of dominant power in the region even before Alexander turned things up several notches. What does all this tell us? Whilst there is certainly truth to the saying 'its in the way that you use it' its also equally clear that the man who possess the 'longest spear' starts with an inherent advantage ! Link to decent summary of the events I have grossly glossed over here including other nuances of the oblique order which dont nearly fit the scrum narrative: https://deadliestblogpage.wordpress.com/2014/04/24/the-myth-of-spartan-invincibility-is-destroyed-at-the-battle-of-leuctra/ cheers OJP
KTinHK
Roar Pro
Nicely written article but, regarding the Brumbies saga, its bullshit. According to the author's allegory, Michael Jones, upon discovering (alleged) fraud in the Brumbies organisation, should have just shut up and pushed together with the rest of the 'forwards' for the sake of the 'scrum' (read Australian rugby). Advice to all whistleblowers, perhaps? The Australian Federal Police are investigating this case. If Jones's claims are false, the Brumbies will be able to sue him. But if the AFP finds there is a case for prosecution, he will be entitled to seek damages. Refrain from taking sides until the AFP complete their investigation. They will decide the outcome.
Who Needs Melon
Roar Guru
Loved the metaphors. What's sport for if not to give us some life lessons.
Mick Gold Coast QLD
Roar Guru
I find it difficult to take Wee Billie seriously as a big tough rugby man when he appears as if he moonlights as a marriage celebrant. Or as a "life coach" asking "No, no - how do you really feeeeel?" Here is a sample of the inspirational Cattleman series to amuse you Colvin, captured in front of a near empty stadium.