In a contested situation, he reminds me of the guy who pretends to help clean up at the end of the party, moving just enough chairs and tables so as to not seem discernibly superfluous.
Crummy metaphors aside, there are 99 problems at Carlton, and Bryce Gibbs comprises at least 12.
See, what we don’t lack is limited players. The dynamo Jason Tutt runs his tiny legs off but can’t kick over, or into, a small pile of canned goods.
The athletic beast Liam Jones tears the game into 60 different pieces for the first minute, then crumples.
The rest are largely of a similar vein, crippled by either youth, old age or a comprehensive lack of ability. Which is fine. I don’t begrudge them.
We’re rebuilding. Have been, but haven’t been, for forever (if you know what I mean). Got to lose some games to lose some more games etc. Ask any St Kilda supporter about the interminable cycle of self-inflicted pain and they’d probably give you some surly answer about miserable life decisions.
My gripe, which burns into my very being, is that Gibbs isn’t one of these limited players that infest my once proud and successful club.
Rather, he’s conditional.
Gibbs chooses the contests to engage in when it suits him. Which again is fine, he was traditionally an outside midfielder, but we can’t afford to have the luxury of outside mids, so we turned him into a perfectly uninspired and kind of delicate inside-ish mid.
But if there was a documentary on the career of Bryce Gibbs, it’d be called ‘The Makings of a Murderer’, because when he gets the ball in any modicum of space he mostly butchers it like a, well, butcher. Just bombs it as far as he can for poor Levi Casboult to jump at. Lower your eyes!
‘Mostly’ is the key word in the above paragraph, because when it suited him he excelled at hitting targets. Maybe he was enabled by evergreen and evermean Jarrad Waite presenting to him, or perhaps the ever-elusive contract extension inspired him – who knows?
So, who do I blame for the mediocre-and-declining-except-for-that-one-excellent-year-when-he-was-seeking-a-new-contract career of Bryce Gibbs?
Not really sure.
Dennis Pagan probably gets a fair slice of the blame for letting him rot in the back pocket while thrusting him in the leadership group. Blame might also go to the collection of injuries he has suffered hampering him more than we know. If that’s the case, sorry Bryce, credit to you for running out each week like a champion.
A lot of the blame must also be apportioned to the omnishambles that has been the Carlton Football Club for a substantial period of time, probably cruelling his development.
Mainly though, I blame myself for engaging in the hype. Starry-eyed by the prospect of the smooth moving, crisp kicking, silky and super intelligent midfielder that I have believed Gibbs to be for however long, I thought he’d be swell. However, glimpses aside, he was never those things.
So should Carlton, the aficionados of the trading table, wipe our hands clean and let him at the mercy of the City of Churches?
With my substantial power and influence – for may this article have far-reaching claws – I say no. I keep the faith in you, Bryce. Arise! Read my petty and vindictive article and lift like a spectacular tree from the earth.
In conclusion; learn how to kick Casboult. Jesus Christ, it’s not that difficult.
Macca
Guest
True Blue - On the weekend Gibbs had 27 possessions, laid 6 tackles and kicked a goal, Casboult had 16 possessions (12 effective) 6 marks and 2 tackles. Time to look at the positives.
true blue
Guest
I totally agree. Bryce Gibbs is a disgrace to the navy blue jersey. He never takes the game by the scruff of the neck and inspires his team mates to follow suit. Yes he has had some excellent games, but they are few and far between now. He does not play in the spirit of Big Nick, Jezza, Doull, Harmes, Hunter, Walls, Busustow, Sticks, Fitzy (Mike not Peter), Ashman, Kouta, MacKay, and Judd et al. Casboult has to go. He cannot kick. Anyone who cannot kick has no place in the AFL. It would be like having a builder who cannot hammer nails into wood. It is a disgrace. Matthew Watson is teaching Casboult how to kick. What next Bootsma teaching Tuohy how to defend.
macca
Guest
Not much point getting in the pack and winning the ball if there is no one outside to dish it off to. Inside or Outside has nothing to do with hardness and everything to do with attributes - whats the point in having a super quick player who is a great kick winning the ball in close and dishing out handballs.
I hate pies
Guest
Other than "by hand" and "by foot", nothing in the AFL commentator's vernacular annoys me more that "outside" and "inside" player. When I played an "outside" player was known as a sheepdog or a pack skirter, ie. they were soft. The only difference between and inside and an outside player is their willingness to do the stuff that hurts, ie. if they're tough enough. "Outside" is code for soft.
Steele
Guest
Gibbs has been a solid player, yet hasn't looked close to living up to the expectations of a number one pick.
Arthur Fonzarelli
Guest
Carlton needs forward targets. If anything Casboult and the other no hopers down there in the forward line need to get abused. Even when they get it they blow it. Hopefully Chuckie Curnow and Harry McKay become something. Maybe even Little SOS too. But Casboult is unfortunately a liability, Everitt just doesn't get it enough and Walker is on his last legs and only ever an okay forward. Fevola should never have been traded. He was the best forward we had since Sticks.
Arthur Fonzarelli
Guest
If Gibbs should be abuse then how the hell did Nathan Buckley make a career out of bludging off other's toil?
The Original Buzz
Roar Rookie
That would be that bloke who hasn't played a game for that club he went to, whoever they were. They certainly aren't crowing about him in SA.
Pumping Dougie
Roar Guru
I think Carlton's problems run a bit deeper than Gibbs, but I understand supporter frustration that he hasn't been dominant.
Gecko
Guest
Yeah, that was a very entertainingly written article. Thanks Aron.
Macca
Guest
Agree with all of that Col, Daniel was very good but so was Weitering.
Col from Brissie
Roar Guru
Macca, I thought Caleb Daniel had a very good game and some may say he might have been deserving of a nomination - I am sure at some stage he will be nominated. But for someone to say that Weitering didn't deserve it because the sponsors conspired to give it too him is just pathetic and sour grapes.
Macca
Guest
So you think stats lie and you think the journalists who give have said Gibbs was 4th, 3rd and second best (a bit better than the best 1/3 and you don't have to guess I supplied them in order as per the AFL match centre) don't know what they are talking about- only you have the devin wisdom! And my point is maybe it isn't the fault of the bloke in the best players that we lost?
Aron
Roar Pro
The pettiness of my article is proudly proclaimed in the article. Also, best determined by whom? However, if the mighty council of judges has made it so, I'm not sure being in the best 1/3 of a team that has lost every game is something I'd have emblazoned on my jacket (also, if I was to hazard a guess, he'd be in the bottom end of the 'best players' sheet).
Macca
Guest
Col - I am pretty confident Weitering won't be our last rising star this year.
Macca
Guest
It just sounds petty to criticize Gibbs when he has been in the best players every week
Macca
Guest
Mattyb - last week you were unable to name 1 player the blues should have taken above Plowman and co. because you "don't know every young player in the country" - but do you know who does know every young player in the country, AFL recruiters so maybe you might think about putting more faith in their opinion than yours, especially when Plowman is in pretty good form in the 2s. And you do realize the sponsors don't pick the recipients don't you? Caleb Daniel actually got votes? In what? The same coaches award Weitering got a vote in?
mattyb
Guest
Awww Col,like we don't know that,like we are in denial of it. Guess that what makes it so funny,Carlton are now the tragic ones being patronised and continuing on the old boys path. It's impressive though. You should have Plowman back soon so relax,huge raps on this bloke apparently,and cheap.
Col from Brissie
Roar Guru
Well if anyone new how to patronise it would be a Bulldog supporter as their team has been patronised for years with most opposition supporters having them as their 2nd side because they feel sorry for their lack of success.
mattyb
Guest
Sorry Col,NAB,hard to keep up with all these traditional names the AFL give to their awards like it is to keep up with the traditional names for all the grounds. You don't need an ol' man river Col,you have a rapid flowing one all of your own. Awww Col. Aren't I patronising the blues enough?