How the Blues can maybe but probably not win

And so the first movement of the Symphony of Sadness is complete. State of Origin 1 is over, and New South Wales, in accordance with federal law, has lost.

But how can they rebound and keep the series alive in Game 2, to be played in the city which reputedly served as the real-life basis for Tolkien in creating the Dark Tower of Minas Morgul: Brisbane?

In a sense, of course, they shouldn’t bother: as I wrote last week, NSW’s defeat in the series is certain, and winning Game 2 will only postpone and, inevitably, intensify the humiliation to come in Game 3.

The smartest thing Laurie Daley’s men could do would be refuse to show up. But assuming that they do, perversely, want to win in Brisbane, there are a few steps they need to take.

Remind Adam Reynolds what game he is playing
If Game 1 of Origin 2016 had been an AFL grand final, and Darius Boyd the New South Wales full-forward, Adam Reynolds would now be the owner of a shiny Norm Smith medal, for the amazing skill and precision with which he repeatedly, to the point of monotony, landed the ball, lace-out, on Boyd’s chest.

Sadly, though, he was playing rugby league and Boyd was on the other team. Reynolds should be given another chance, as after all it was his first Origin game, and dropping him runs the terrible risk that Mitchell Pearce might come back, a possibility that drives an icy spike into the hearts of every New South Welshman.

But if the star Rabbitoh is to redeem himself, coach Daley must spend several intensive sessions with him reminding him that rugby league is the issue at hand, and that in aforesaid sport, it is far more desirable to direct the ball away from the opposing fullback as much as possible.

Armour-plate all the front-rowers
It became clear in Game 1 that NSW’s plan of attack is basically to have its props run as hard as they can straight at the defensive line over and over again until a try occurred.

Some people will say a change of gameplan is needed for the rematch, but teaching a rugby league team a new plan is going to take far too long and will only confuse the players. Far better to improve the plan they’ve already got by inserting steel plates under the jerseys of Aaron Woods, Paul Gallen, Andrew Fifita and James Tamou so that when they hurl themselves over and over again at the line, they’ve some chance of breaking through it.

Be more boring
In Game 1, the Blues attempted to play in such a dull and unimaginative manner that the Queenslanders would eventually fall asleep. And they almost succeeded: most of the Maroons were yawning heavily by full-time. Five more minutes and there would have been huge gaps out wide due to all the defenders curled up in blissful slumber.

But they weren’t quite tedious enough: it seemed like every time the game had become so uninspiring that consciousness was surely impossible, Michael Jennings would step sideways and everyone snapped out of their torpor. For Game 2 there must be rigid discipline: only run in straight lines, only pass to teammates in no better a position than yourself, and do not under any circumstances risk overexciting the opposition by making them think.

Cheat
It’s important, when playing rugby league, to remember that the game becomes a lot easier when you don’t obey the rules. There are many ways to do this: bribery, steroids, putting the ball up your jumper. But I’d recommend the good old-fashioned switchblade in the sock. See how robust the Queenslanders are when half the team have severed achilles tendons.

Don’t drop the ball
It’s possible they already know this, but it can’t hurt to remind them.

Watch tapes of great NSW teams of the past
This will have manifold benefits, including: the inspiration of knowing that Queensland victory has not always been the natural way of things; learning something of the methods and strategies that the greats of the past used to win Origin.

Gaining invaluable role models in the form of greats like Mortimer, Sterling, Johns, Kenny, Elias, Ettingshausen and Craig Salvatori. And finally, hopefully finding the tapes so entertaining that they just keep watching them, lose track of time, and don’t make it to the game.

Because, seriously, this is Origin. Don’t bother.