'Club in crisis' doesn't go close to describing the nightmare at Parra

This week is shaping to be the worst in the Parramatta Eels’ storied history.

Yesterday their million-dollar-a-season recruit, Kieran Foran, was stripped of the club captaincy.

Foran was touted as the Eels’ best-ever signing, but so far it’s been an unmitigated disaster – obviously, much of it through no fault of his own.

Before he even joined, his deal was in jeopardy when it was revealed he had a get-out clause wherein he would be paid seven figures to leave the club in the event of any boardroom dramas.

It would have been the easiest and most assured payday of Foran’s life, and understandably the club renegotiated the clause, although not without almost seeing their prize Eel wriggle off the line before he was hauled into the boat.

After a delayed start to the 2016 season due to injury, Foran was playing the kind of footy that absolutely justified his salary… And then he went to rehab.

There’s absolutely nothing to be made light of here. Foran was struggling with mental health issues, and was given the club’s full support as he sought help. The situation appeared to be handled with class and sensitivity.

Except by Jackie O, who made scurrilous remarks about Foran before formally apologising on-air after a strongly worded letter from Foran’s lawyers.

And by the Daily Telegraph, who published a story alleging Foran’s TAB account was used to make $75,000 worth of punts on the afternoon he left rehab. Foran’s lawyers are getting involved with that one too.

Then there’s the investigation into Manly matches being fixed in 2015, which became the Eels’ problem since Foran was at the Sea Eagles when the alleged problematic games were played, and because Foran is known to have a relationship with underworld figure Eddie Hayson.

Now, Foran can hardly be blamed for any of these issues – he was brave in admitting he had a problem and needed help, then was twice the victim of gutter journalism, before being tarred because he’s got friends in low places (and who hasn’t got at least one of those?). But Foran’s fault or not, they do end up being issues for the Eels.

But then last night the Eels released a statement saying they were relieving Foran of his club captaincy duties, “so he can focus on his recovery from a shoulder injury”.

Innocent enough, except the statement finished, “The club will not be making any comment regarding its in-house disciplinary systems.”

Word is Foz had a few drinks while injured, and missed a training session. Hardly the kind of example you would expect your club captain to set.

But then, missing training appears to be in vogue at the Eels.

For almost a fortnight now, Semi Radradra has been absent from anything Parramatta related. The official line from the club is that their winger is on a club-sanctioned trip home to see his family in Fiji.

Except everyone else is saying Semi is gone for good, off to French rugby to take up a fat contract with Bourdeaux.

To put that suggestion to bed, last Tuesday the club released a statement saying, “Semi will be returning as expected to prepare for the club’s next NRL game against Cronulla.”

The statement was enforced by Semi’s agent George Christodoulou, who said “[Semi] remains fully committed to his teammates and will be remaining with the Eels until at least the end of the 2017 season.”

Yet the incumbent Australian winger remains AWOL, having failed to fly back to Australia on Sunday, as planned, and then again today, as was hastily re-planned.

His teammates are saying they don’t mind if he doesn’t train at all, as long as he rocks up to the Shire on Saturday with his boots on, ready to play the Sharks.

All this understanding and patience for a guy who’s hanging his teammates out to dry, apparently because he’s not happy with the contract he signed, with a club that’s stood by him during his “personal issues”. And, with no further details, it appears those issues led to his ex-partner taking out an AVO against him.

Seriously, why the hell hasn’t anyone trotted out the old ‘no one’s bigger than the club’ line, or made a very public statement that a player who doesn’t train doesn’t play, or that people who break contracts get sued?

In a nutshell, where’s the leadership at the Eels?

Well, they all got sacked.

As a result of years of creative accounting, the Eels are currently operating without a chairman, CEO, manager of football, and two club directors.

Long-term, Parra are surely better off without the ‘Gang of Five’ at the club, but at the moment the club is a headless chook. Apparently, former NRL salary cap auditor Ian Schubert is the de facto boss, but that’s hardly a title that inspires faith – or fear.

Besides, Schubert is trying to balance the books, and while he’s making noise about how he’s going to bring Jarryd Hayne back to the club in a move that will ensure Semi wants to stick around long-term, surely he’s quietly praying the two actually team up in the Fiji rugby side. That would free up some space in the Eels’ cap, which is already set to be reduced as a result of the NRL’s punishments for the club rorting the salary cap.

Which brings us to the cherry on top of this week, the NRL slapping Parra with their final punishment.

Todd Greenberg flagged the club copping a $1 million fine, as well as losing 12 points, but also cautioned those were preliminary punishments. The real sanctions being handed down this week, probably on Friday.

The expectation is those 12 points will go, seeing the Eels go from the top four to 14th – effectively ending their season.

An away loss on Saturday to the top-of-the-table and undefeated-at-home Sharks would be the sprinkling of nuts on this crap sundae.

Each week this season has brought a new drama, and each week the team and their supporters take it in their stride, but at what point do the Eels faithful throw up their hands and say enough is enough? I mean, I support the Knights, and even I feel sorry for the blue and gold faithful.

Perhaps the worst part is that feeling of uselessness. The only real card you’ve got to play is your attendance at matches, and by not showing up you’re really just punishing the blokes doing it the hardest – the players who are actually turning up to train and play.

Sadly, all I can offer Parra fans is my sympathy, and reassurance that at least you won’t end up with the wooden spoon – we Novocastrians will lie on that particular grenade for you.