The Onesies: One Week’s inaugural end of season awards

The regular season is done and dusted. As we prepare ourselves for the rigours of finals football, let’s take a moment to look back at the highs and lows of the 2016 season, and hand out the coveted Onesies.

Best player: Cameron Smith
No player is more valuable to their team than Smith.

While he may look like your grandfather’s podiatrist, Smith is rugby league’s most skilful tactician, artfully dictating the pace of the game through his control of the ruck and manipulation of match officials.

He remains fundamental to the sustained success of both Queensland and the Melbourne Storm.

Most improved player: Mitchell Moses
Moses has enjoyed a spectacular turnaround in form this season – I haven’t witnessed such an impressive 180 since I dominated the California Games halfpipe on my Commodore 64.

While still a speedbump in defence, Moses has utilised his blistering pace and instinctive style to rip opposition defensive lines to shreds, while eliminating much of the flashy garbage from his repertoire.

Most disappointing player: Benji Marshall
Poor ol’ Benji. Now that his speed and acceleration have deserted him, the only thing left for him to sidestep are questions around his future.

The Dragons’ attack was gruesome at times this season, and Marshall was a big reason why. For a player who was equal second in the 2015 Dally M count, the G-force associated with Benji’s fall from grace would make an astronaut queasy.

Comeback player: Ben Barba
Barba is the perfect example of a player whose performances on the field have reflected his life off it. After years spent getting his act together, the 2012 Dally M winner looks to have finally regained the confidence that made him the most damaging attacking weapon in the NRL.

He has settled into life in Cronulla, and is playing like a man without distraction. Fingers crossed the Sharks can keep him on the straight and narrow.

Rookie of the year: Ashley Taylor
Thrust into the role of primary playmaker after Kane Elgey ripped his knee apart during the preseason, the talented teenager has performed like a seasoned veteran. His ability to remain calm under intense pressure is a trait rarely seen in someone so young.

Taylor demands the ball with the game in the balance, which boosts the confidence of those alongside him. If Elgey makes a successful return from injury, the Titans will boast the most exciting young halves pairing in the competition.

Best rep player: Cameron Smith
As a NSW supporter, I simply cannot stomach praising Smith twice in the same article. So see above.

Most underrated: Jarrod Croker
When Wayne Bennett made the preseason proclamation that Jarrod Croker should be one of the first players picked for NSW, many feared the onset of senility. Yet it would seem Wayne’s faculties remain on point.

Croker had a corker of a season, tightening up his previously leaky defence, while finding a new dimension in attack. The veteran centre carved out his best year to date, yet is still considered the second best centre at his own club.

Most overrated: James Tamou
For years, Tamou’s hulking physical dimensions have masked his lacklustre effort in both attack and defence. He hits with the ferocity of a young Brett Howland, and runs the ball back at glacial pace. The Cowboys were wise not to pay Tamou’s exorbitant asking price for next season.

Coach of the year: Neil Henry
With a roster sporting fewer stars than an airport motel, most punters predicted the Titans would capture the wooden spoon in 2016. Instead, the Gold Coast has been one of the most consistent sides in the competition.

Their application in both attack and defence speaks to Henry’s astute game planning and ability to instil a sense of belief in his players. His mid-season signing of Jarryd Hayne, Conrad Hurrell and Nathan Peats are just rewards for a coach forced to make chicken salad out of chicken.

Best team: Melbourne Storm
The Storm were once again a master class in the value of preparation and dedication. Craig Bellamy is peerless when it comes to ensuring the gulf between his team’s best game and their worst game is barely apparent, and they did it all without Billy Slater.

They may not be the most fun to watch, but in 2016 the Storm have been the most consistent side in the competition.

Pleasant surprise: Canberra Raiders
For as long as I can remember, the Raiders have owned the title of NRL dark horse. They routinely assembled a potent attacking side capable of beating anyone on their day, yet defensive deficiencies and issues with consistency continued to stunt their development.

That trend looked set to continue in 2016, with Canberra racking up cricket scores in attack, but leaking points faster than my last round of Stableford. But during the second half of the season, they have shown significant improvements in defence, while maintaining their ability to score tries from anywhere on the park.

No team wants to face the Raiders right now.

Big disappointment: Manly Sea Eagles
Based on talent alone, Manly had one of the strongest rosters heading into the 2016 season. They had recruited well, adding considerable might to an already talented squad. Yet their failure to thrive is clear evidence that you can’t simply manufacture magic.

Bob Fulton’s attempt to play Super Coach with his beloved club backfired spectacularly, as the team just didn’t gel. Several key players spent the majority of the year either out of form or injured, while Trent Barrett’s rookie season as coach produced more head-scratchers than a lice-infested daycare centre.

Best game: Broncos 21-20 Cowboys, Round 4
Rarely does an overhyped game live up to such outrageous expectations, but this grand final rematch was sensational; a rugby league showcase between the two top sides in the competition.

Watching the savage, raw power of Jason Taumalolo, the instinctive guile of Anthony Milford, and the constant effort of Johnathan Thurston, it was hard to contemplate a scenario where these two teams would not meet again in October. Pity about State of Origin.

Worst game: Cronulla 62-0 Newcastle, Round 10
The massacre at Hunter Stadium was a bad look for the game. Never has the gulf between the haves and have nots been more apparent. While the NRL boasts about the parity of the competition and the value of the salary cap, this was a game of men against boys. Cronulla manhandled the Knights in all facets of the game, and it was clear this was not an even contest.

Best moment: Jarryd Hayne’s return
As much as it pains me to admit it, the return of the ‘Aussie hero’ was a massive moment for rugby league. Speculation around his return, his subsequent signing with the Titans, and finally his comeback game against the Warriors, generated the sort of media attention the game simply can’t buy.

Crowd figures exploded, television ratings went nuts, and Fox Sports journalists multiplied like a malignant tumour.

Love him or hate him, the Hayne Plane is good for the game.

Worst moment: Mitchell Pearce incident
While Pearce canoodling with a poodle wasn’t the worst thing to happen to rugby league, or even the most disturbing incident this season, the timing and context were unfortunate.

Pearce was (and still is) the marquee player for the highest profile club in the game, and at the time owned the coveted NSW halfback jumper. Such status heightened the already suffocating media attention that comes with being the good-looking son of rugby league royalty. And without any footy to distract the fans and detractors, the Pearce story developed into an ugly stain for the game.

Once again, at a time when the NRL should have been celebrating their season launch, they were instead answering questions about the unsavoury conduct of one of their star players.

Best buy: James Maloney
Maloney never really gets the credit he deserves. For most of his career, he has either toiled in relative anonymity with the Warriors, or played second fiddle to a higher profile half in Pearce. But all the guy does is win, and he’s brought that mentality with him to the Shire.

Maloney’s polished kicking game and underrated tactical nous have been the key element in elevating Cronulla from a gritty defensive side to a flamboyant attacking unit. If the Sharks finally break their premiership drought, much of the credit should be directed Maloney’s way.

Worst buy: Kieran Foran
A million bucks sure doesn’t buy you what it used to. When Parramatta secured Foran’s signature, they thought they had finally exorcised the Peter Sterling curse. Instead, the hoodoo gurus of rugby league doomed another promising rugby league career.

Foran was unprepared for the enormous weight of expectation that comes with being the Parramatta halfback, and stepped away from the game after only a handful of games in blue and gold. Here’s hoping he gets his life back on track.

Team of the year

That’s me done for the 2016 season. As I head off for my Mad Monday celebrations, I just want to say a quick thanks to those who read and commented on my ramblings throughout the year. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.