Opinions about rugby league are one thing, but leave Wayne Bennett alone

Being a rugby league opinion writer means you are often going to say things that people don’t agree with and don’t want to hear.

Unsurprisingly, that often means that people will not like you.

I was reminded of this when reading Andrew Webster’s superb article regarding a message he received from Eddie Hayson.

“When you’re an opinion writer, you expect to be punched in the head in return,” Webster wrote. “If you’re prepared to throw a few, you have to take a few. If you bruise easily, you are in the wrong game.”

Some people are more than happy to ruffle feathers and get in people’s faces, but I’m not really one of them.

While I am more than prepared to throw punches, my agenda is that I want the game of rugby league to be run well and fairly. Just because I have a go at someone’s actions or decisions doesn’t mean that I hate them – but that doesn’t mean that they know that, or they appreciate my opinions.

I have never met David Smith or Kurt Wrigley, or Todd Greenberg, or Michael Buettner, or Alfie Langer.

How on Earth could I hate them? I’m sure I would be able to find common ground with all of them. For starters – with the possible exception of David Smith – we all love rugby league.

However, if you write – as I have – that a person has made a bad or hypocritical decision, expressed a view that you believe is wrong or stupid, or performed an action that casts doubt on their suitability for their role or their intelligence, then you should not be surprised when they a) don’t like you b) won’t do you any favours and c) don’t want you to work with them.

Amazingly, I’ve been surprised by all of these eventualities of voicing my opinions.

More the fool me…

These realities are especially the case in the world of rugby league. It is full of great big people, with great big egos who are often also full of testosterone. While I have met lots of wonderful people in the 18 years I’ve been involved in covering the NRL, like Webster with Hayson, I’ve also met some particularly toxic and nasty people.

From the in-your-face tyrants, to smiling assassins, to insidious and cowardly bullies.

The in-your-face variety have the integrity of owning their actions and views. I hope those who are the subjects of my critical opinions at least give me that credit.

It was not until I actually met the NRL’s Football Operations Manager, Nathan McGuirk, that it really dawned on me that I’d probably made adversaries of a number of complete strangers.

Nathan was very polite to me, but I knew we could now never be mates – even though my great-great grandmother was Sarah McGuirk and we might be distantly related – because I’m the guy who said he’s no good at his job.

Like Webster says, if you throw punches you’ve got to be prepared to take some. For me, a punch is someone not liking me. I’m a bit of a pink, frilly blouse like that.

But I’m going to keep throwing punches.

However, there are some subjects I won’t touch. Eddie Hayson’s text directly raised one:

“Your [sic] just a weak homosexual aren’t you. No balls to write the Wayne Bennett story but happy to write about the match fixing story.”

I love Webster’s writing. Along with Steve Mascord and Tony Adams, he is my favourite rugby league journalist.

That he would write about match fixing – which has the potential to destroy the very integrity of the game we love – and not about Wayne Bennett’s private family matter is to Webster’s credit.

I do have a strong opinion on Bennett’s current personal situation: leave him and his family alone. It’s no one’s business but theirs. (Click to Tweet)

I was unfortunately in a 20-year relationship that ended with separation and divorce. I felt the extreme judgement of people, the vast majority of whom had no idea what had transpired. The ghouls that circled, looking for juicy information – or just making shit up – was astounding.

Half of me wanted to try explain the whole horrible situation to everyone and lay it bare, seeking sympathy and understanding. The other half realised that the important people knew and it was nobody else’s business.

I received some sage advice from a good friend early on, “Remember, there’s always three sides to every story: your side, her side and the truth.”

It was not anybody’s right to know what happened. However, people were interested in my family’s troubles – and I was nobody from nowhere. Wayne Bennett is a major public figure.

I cannot conceive how horrible it would be for him and every member of his family to have media attention focused on them at this time.

Those of you who have read my pieces before will know that I’m a Wayne Bennett zealot. He is one of the best things about rugby league, a man of great character and integrity.

I guarantee you that that character and integrity has not suddenly evaporated. Give him now the respect that he and his family have earned over so many years.

This will be a horrible time for them. Please let’s leave them alone, if for no other reason than Eddie Hayson doesn’t think we should.