And so it comes down to this: the plucky, brave, people’s champion – Canberra Raiders – versus the dark and malignant Forces of Evil, Melbourne Storm.
Storm are the Baddies. The Stormtroopers.
Darth Vader? Cameron Smith? Same diff.
My, but I hate these people. I mean, I love these people. But I hate these people. It’s that time of year. And the Raiders are the hot story of it.
Yes, there’s a few others. The Sharks take on the premiers at Allianz Stadium and there’s a few storylines heading into and out of that fixture. Johnathan Thurston, Paul Gallen, Harold Holt.
Plenty will be written and otherwise gibbered about these people.
But from this scribbler’s perspective – an ex-pat Canberran on a couch on the northern beaches watching Daryl Brohman and Beau Ryan on The Footy Show singing ‘Up, Up, Cronulla’ as a hamburger is wheeled out on stage by a remote-control wheelie machine, what fresh Hell is this – the Raiders’ march towards the Provan-Summons Trophy, with the first of two hurdles being the evil Storm, well … Spring has sprung, baby.
And the Raiders are out of the box. And will smash the evil purple plague of death Saturday night.(Click to Tweet)
Oh? The journo’s a Raiders fan? Did you guess? Ha. Stuff it. Heaps of readers think journos write about their favourite team in a favoured light anyway, so let’s let it all hang out.
I mean, it’s not actually true because if anything journos get stuck into ‘their’ team more than others. it’s a thing. Public interest. Write what the fans want to know. And … what?
Where are we?
Oh yes, hating on Melbourne Storm, the terrible, evil things. My but I hate these people. And chances are you hate these people. Because who doesn’t hate Melbourne Storm?
So good. So purple. So clinical and strong and tough and all that winning they do down there with their clinical toughness and strength.
They go grouse Melbourne Storm. They’re up there with any of the best ever. And for that you’ve got to hate them, just as you’e always had to hate Manly.
So blinking bloody good.
My mate Mark doesn’t hate Melbourne Storm. He lives down there, is a season-ticket holder. Loves ‘em. And why not? What a footy club. Something in the Yarra River water, for sure.
And the people of Melbourne are largely damned fools for not supporting them in the numbers they do Carlton or St. Kilda or whoever.
Granted it’s cultural, and Australian rules dominates the group think south of the Murray. And that’s just it.
But hell – you can like both, can’t you? You can like Hawthorn and Storm and even the Rebels, whatever they are. Why can’t you appreciate the skills and winning and personalities of these people, the National Rugby League’s testing material?
Because that’s what Storm have been for a decade. Their teams have been so good you can’t believe they could fit them under the salary cap.
Oh? Did we mention the war? Seems we did. Sorry, Storm. But it’s part of your story.
I once asked James Graham about biting Billy Slater on the ear and he said he’d “moved on”. But you can’t just “move on”. The bad stuff is as much your story as the glory. And that’s just it.
And anyway, Storm’s story has been mostly glory. They’ve been magnificent, Storm.
Consider Smith, their brilliant captain. He could be the best No.9 that’s ever played. Granted you can’t compare him to Max Krilich or Benny Elias or anyone who “hooked” in “scrums” any more than you can compare telephones from 1975 to today.
But Smith would be a champion in any era, as Wally Lewis would be, as Reg Gasnier would be.
And as Cooper Cronk would be.
Wrote a yarn this week about rugby league’s best halfbacks and had to leave out Cronk (and Ricky Stuart) and it was very, very hard.
Cronk’s about to play 300 first grade games. And there’ll be little difference in quality of his work from debut versus Cronulla in Round 9 of 2004 (Brett Kimmorley captained the Sharks, Stephen Kearney the Storm) to a preliminary final against Canberra 12 years later. What a player.
And what a club. They’re minor premiers and competition favourites without perhaps the best fullback there’s ever been, Billy Slater.
And, well, I hate them. And you hate them.
And here we are.
Loving the Raiders! Because who doesn’t love the Raiders? These plucky Bad News Bears, trophy-less for twenty-two years, playing a fleet-footed and funky brand of hot potato, hot chilli footy that hasn’t been seen since the Cowboys of ’05.
How about ‘em? What’s not to like? There’s nothing not to like. They are the best thing to happen to rugby league since six tackles.
Maybe not that good. But they’re good, the Raiders. And they’re really good – and really good fun – to watch. And whoever that NRL suit was that didn’t want Canberra in the comp, he can take a flying nude leap at the moon.
Can Canberra beat Melbourne Storm? Of course they can. Please. It’s 80 minutes of footy played on the same rectangular chunk of green grass. They’ll run out weighing the same, and if anything the Raiders – mostly due to Shannon Boyd – will weigh even more.
And weight is a factor. It’s a Thing. If you weigh 120 kilograms and can run the hundred in a time centres would find respectable, you’re a damaging human being.
Boyd will play for Australia this year. And so will BJ Leilua and Blake Austin and Jarrod Croker if Big Mal has a brain, and he does.
And if the Raiders hang onto the pill, and complete sets, they win. They do! They win.
If the Raiders get their share of the footy, and hang onto the ball and don’t give away penalties – and still play the same exciting, attacking, have-a-crack style of rugby league as the ’05 Cows – they will win.
Yes, Storm are a machine. They’re relentless, clinical and strong. So strong. And they play Belly-ache Ball: the relentless subjugation of one’s enemies through physical domination, referee and rules manipulation, and repeat sets.
They smash you, Storm.
But the Raiders smashed them 22-8 in Canberra in Round 23. Two weeks later the Broncos smashed Storm 26-15 in Melbourne.
They’re great, Melbourne, and worthy minor premiers.
But they’re hardly the Dragons of ‘59.
And if you can get $3 or more in this two-horse race, well, gamble responsibly. And then get everything you have and plunge it on on Canberra. Pro punters are always looking for “overs”.
Well, 2-1 in a two-horse race, for Raiders over Storm, that is overs.
Go well, people’s champion.
Steve L.
Guest
Most women don't even think it's very rough mate. They're only too happy to see their sons (or daughters) play it ahead of Rugby.
damo
Guest
Rock up to pre-season training at an AFL club next year & ask to be involved in some tackling drills mate, see how you feel about contact after that.
bob johnson
Guest
Yeah i thought so but the Manly hate has dimmed down as of late.
andrew
Guest
Tall Poppy syndrome.
bob johnson
Guest
Why does everyone hate Melbourne Storm?
Rob
Guest
Can the Raiders hold the ball and still play open attacking football? The St George loss was a while back, but it's rocks and daimonds. Storm don't like playing against it but if you give up field position you usually pay a price against Smith and Cronk.
Steve L
Guest
Of course they do, it's a cultural thing. They can't handle a contact sport. That's why the Victorian game was invented.
DH
Guest
Canberra didn't even exist when Melbournians were loving AFL (and playing rugby). Canberrans should never forget that the whole reason for its existence is because of the Sydney/Melbourne rivalry.
Brendon
Guest
I'm a storm fan and this was a fantastic article! Shows the true both sides of the game for once! Good on you for being honest, hate the Storm because they are good. Not because of the wrestling hype, not because of the slow the play the ball or the "referee whisperer", hate them because they are good. Thats the same reason that everyone will hate the Raiders next year. If you don't support the best team, you will hate them, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Harry
Guest
That's all well and good but it doesn't quite explain why there are still tickets left for tomorrow night's game at AAMI Park whereas the Week 1 game in Canberra sold out in about 2 days. Speaking as a born-and-bred Canberra lad who's been living in Melbourne for 12 years, the Storm's profile is next to nothing down here. Walking around the city the last couple of weeks you wouldn't even know they were playing at home in a grand final qualifier this weekend. Melbourne is a city full of ex-pats from Canberra, New South Wales, Queensland, New Zealand, the Pacific Islands, and the UK - and those are the people who make up the Storm's audience (and the Rebels too, for that matter). You can hear it in the accents as soon as you go to a game. As far as the great majority of Victorians are concerned it's still AFL first, second, and third.
Uglykiwi
Guest
I don't often agree with Phil Gould; but he is 100% correct in his match. Basically the refs will decide it. If they let Melbourne wrestle and slow the play the play the ball down and allow them to milk penaltlies..... they win. If the refs penalise Melbourne (which never happens, as Smith has them in his pockets), then Canberra have a chance. But I can not see the refs changing from what they do.......... allow melbourne to play a boring, controlling game, wrestle their defenders, not allowing them to get up, slow the game right down.......... then melbourne win. And another win for boring controlled footy. melbourne will win this game, my heart would love to see Canberra win, but the refs wont allow it.
Dutski
Roar Guru
So Melbournians as a whole have worked out there's a difference between league and rugby, have they? Must be a new development... ;-)
Who from where
Guest
Who is the player that disrespects women?
Don
Roar Rookie
If Hodgson stays on the park and gets room Canberra have a massive chance. And not just for his dummy half work. Without him the Raiders' kicking game is very ordinary. They won't get field position and be able to control the pace of the game without him. Hodgson kicking from dummy half with all the chasers onside or kicking long into touch to give his forwards some respite is invaluable. The cynic in me will be looking for a bit of extra "work" on Hodgson's ankle and Austin's hand in the tackles. Certainly the Storm will target Austin in defence. Should be a cracker. I'm tipping the Storm to come out fast, put on early points and control it from there. Kick long but not into touch so Canberra don't get a break. They'll count on being fitter and fresher and won't give the big Raiders forwards the same space. Oh, and expect plenty of pressure on the refs with the Storm rushing defence coming from offside most of the time. They'll cop a few penalties knowing the refs won't do it for the whole game and won't sin bin someone for it…
MAX
Guest
How goes Boyd and Whitehead goes Canberra was the conclusion drawn in my assessment of this game. I had not realised Boyd is able to run "centre" times. I know James Graham regards him as one of the hardest props in the game. That is some wrap. There has been a lot of talk about "referee influence" and on that score the Raiders may be disadvantaged 40:60 (courtesy Tim Gore)
Oingo Boingo
Guest
Can't disagree here on most points . YES YES YES I hate the storm and really enjoy seeing them lose , I also don't want to be watching them bore us to death again in just over a week . If the Raiders can minimise mistakes and the refs don't impose themselves on the game and they adjudicate according to the rules , I think the Raiders can pull it off . Raiders V Sharks GF please , but I think the Cows will roll the hapless Sharkies .
Mike from tari
Guest
I don't see Storm as Darth Vader, the dark force & to compare them to replacing Manly as the team to hate is impossible as that mantle has been taken over by the Broncos as you can probably guess I'm a Rabbitoh fan but I can't support the Raiders as I can't stand Stuart & the player who has no respect for women.
Tim Reynolds
Roar Pro
Canberra is a city of politicians, public servants, the Brumbies and the Raiders. Each had their time in the past, although you probably have to go back to Gough for the former and Mal for the latter. Melbourne though is a city of the future which embraces league and rugby as it does tennis and cricket, and no doubt synchronised swimming and mountain biking. The Storm are part of a sporting heritage that goes way back, and when teams come to play here we all combine to figuratively support the Big V. 5 million loving them and 300,000 hating them - I like those odds!
andrew
Guest
Is that the most question marks in a single article? I like teams like the Panthers and Raiders with youthful exuberance and a "throw caution to the wind approach"; and everyone likes a Cinderella story from time to time. But for me personally, I like the Storm. I like them for the same reason I like Roger Federer and the Patriots (NFL). because they just do IT so well. So well organised, so professional, so in control. I enjoy watching greatness. It is also the same reason I have not watched the Thursday Footy Show on Ch 9 for about 6 or 7 years - because I enjoy greatness. What you described of Ryan and Broham makes me feel nauseous.
Jimmmy
Guest
I like your thinking Matt . The Raiders are great to watch , great for the game and well just so refreshing. Can they beat the Storm though? The Storm play to a formulae . They stick to it better than any other team in the comp. This is their strength but also their weakness. Canberra have to play from in front , the Storm shut up shop like no one else. If the Storm get a reasonable lead early I think it's over , The Raiders need to use their flare and negate the Storm ring bark defence. Leileua is the man with those little grubbers of his. Lastly they need the Ref to actually police the rules of the game. A good 10 m and quick ruck speed and the Raiders may get this one.