The Spudlow Medal – not to be confused with the Brownlow Medal – is awarded to the worst player in the Australian Football League during the home and away season.
Despite popular belief, the Spudlow is not named after Danny Frawley, but the potato in general and how the term, in an Australian context, is used to describe someone who is beyond mediocre at their attempted profession.
CHECK OUT THE FULL PREDICTOR FOR THE 2016 SPUDLOW MEDAL BELOW.
Unlike the Brownlow, the Spudlow is not decided by the umpires, but through a mix of statistical analysis and a specialised social media filter which picks out player’s names that are often associated with words like ‘flog’, ‘peanut’, ‘horrendous’, and even phrases such as ‘why’s this bloke even on the field?’
Sure, we all remember Dangerfield’s forty-whatever touches and however-many goals… against… who was it? But those performances pale in comparison to the joy we all felt sitting next to that one mate who barracks for Collingwood while watching Travis Cloke spray his way to 17 goals for the season. These are the moments we remember and cherish.
So while the AFL’s best are busy sipping champagne and giving their missus her time in the spotlight, let’s not forget about the league’s spuds. Tonight, on footy’s night of nights, they’ll be sitting back, jamming tins (with the boys), and absentmindedly contemplating how they’d word their application for the next season of The Recruit should the dishonour of a Spudlow Medal fall their way.
The blokes we’re talking about are the ones who lead the stats in areas such as clangers, free kicks conceded, worst kicking efficiency, most behinds, and fewest kilometres run in a season.
Their clear disregard for fundamental skills may leave them deserving of zero recognition or celebration, but we must never forget that for every fan these blokes left pulling their hair out, they left ten of us spilling our beers with laughter.
(Unfortunately, despite our tireless campaigning, Champion Data are yet to begin counting ‘laughable’ moments – but rest assured every single battler in contention for the Spudlow tonight is elite in the category.)
So in the lead-up to the big night, we’ve scrolled to the bottom of stats tables across the internet and crunched the few stats these blokes actually registered to determine who’s in contention for the 2016 Spudlow.
The full predictor:
And, of course, please let us know who you think deserves the Spudlow for 2016 in the comments below.
Asd
Guest
Don't worry Bomber Thompson there next
Asd
Guest
Gary Lyon coleslaw spud. Wives look good to him
Gecko
Guest
Great idea and great list. The high number of tall forwards in that list suggests some clubs are just desperate for a tall forward and will pick anyone! Just to be controversial, the person with the highest number of kicks marked by opposition players was probably Dangerfield.
Birdman
Guest
Shoey scarcely played in 2016 so he's's well down the betting but on career form he's done his fair share of ploughing in defence.
Arky
Guest
The Richmond board for extending Damien Hardwick before the season should be runaway favourites if they're eligible.
Arky
Guest
Genuine question, did Yarran actually play a game this season, or is that the joke? From my own club I'd like to nominate Robbie Nahas (but only because it would be mean to nominate Drew Petrie, because he's a legend of the club, but I thought he was cooked and should have retired LAST season... and he unfortunately went on to prove it this season). Most of the clanger stats just point to players who get a lot of their possessions on the inside (or just get a lot of the ball full stop), especially if they are expected to then try and create with it. Martin, Wines, Greene, Dangerfield, Ziebell, Parker, Selwood, Hanneberry etc. The "clanger" stat has become misleading, it SHOULD be for moments of complete idiocy (even a pass to a teammate should be a clanger if you handballed to a guy with three opponents on his hammer when you had someone alone in the goalsquare!) but instead it is more like an alternate way of expressing disposal efficiency.
The Original Buzz
Guest
Don't forget Troy Menzel. Can coaches be nominated or is there a special award for them too?
Paul D
Roar Guru
Yeah, I can't argue with that comment. Harwood was about our only decent kick and he went down halfway through. How Jimmy Toumpas doesn't make the shortlist is baffling though.
Josh
Expert
"The entire Brisbane backline". Well played, lads.
jonty smith
Roar Guru
As a magpie fan, Jesse being in their is harsh. All the others are deserved. Zac dawson for spud of the year and jetta for disappointment of the year for mine.
Fitzwah
Guest
Ryan shoenmakers spudllow
Ian Morrison
Guest
Yarran, Dawson, Butcher, Cloke. Harsh on Jessie. Yeah I'm a Magpie Man.
rusty
Roar Rookie
Normally you would just give it to Zac Dawson every year but it reached the point years ago where absolutely nobody anywhere expects him to perform. Including his own club. Therefore it should go to a player that was almost kind of good before becoming hopeless again. Your list is an adequate one. Cloke should probably get it. Lewis Jetta deserves a mention.
johno
Guest
Most clangers - Dustin Martin 113 Worst average - 5.3 Dustin Martin Clanger to possession average #1 J Holmes St Kilda - 7 possies, 5 clangers = 71.43% # over 100 possessions = S Hampson 158 / 54 = 34.18% over 200 = Rhys Stanley = 248 / 66 = 26.61% Over 300 = Jackson Trengove - 318/71 = 22.33% Over 400 = Andrew Swallow 447 / 67 = 14.99% (dis)Honourable mentions Cyril = 21.18% D Merrett = 31.98% Naismith (could be a premiership player) = 31.96%
richo
Guest
I dont get it, shouldnt they be getting votes for clangers or something?