The opportunity to listen to some cricket on the radio early on Monday morning while consistently cursing the traffic was merely a dream (the cricket, not the traffic), as England duly capitulated to give India a thumping victory in both the fourth Test and the series.
Once Joe Root had been dismissed on the fourth afternoon, England’s hopes – already slim at best – were extinguished, as the form book played out as expected.
Prior to their arrival in India, and with a chastening defeat in Bangladesh still fresh in the memory, England were given little hope of repeating their 2012 triumph and the only real surprise is that after four of the five games they are three and not four-nil down.
Perhaps such cynicism is unwarranted, as they played pretty well in the series opener, but once the hosts found their range so to speak, the tide turned inexorably, with the latest manifestation of such form being the innings triumph at Mumbai’s Wankhede Stadium.
With Virat Kohli basking in the ego-drenching adulation he appears to thrive on and Ravichandran Ashwin tirelessly and persistently erasing the majority of records in his path, India have the standout performers to go with a supporting cast who, in comparison with their opponents, have simply been too good.
It is no disgrace to lose to a better side, although judging by some of the reaction you would’ve thought a capital offence had been committed, and that is what has transpired.
England have batted well at times but not often enough and the same goes for their bowling, which has had its moments but the sum of the parts has been less than necessary and the result is there for all to see.
The victory extended India’s unbeaten stretch to 17 matches and while the claims of Kohli’s men becoming one of the greatest ever teams – this was their coach speaking and that might be pushing it a touch – need examining more often on foreign soil, given their next assignments are at home you would be brave to bet against them adding to their tally.
The first of these is against Bangladesh and although their fellow Asian nation have improved out of sight in recent times and won’t be playing in alien conditions, they have got next to no hope in a one-off Test.
It could well be more competitive than most imagine but that will be about it.
And that brings up Australia, who have four outings, starting in Bangalore in February, to try and achieve the twin feats of downing the world’s number one side and halting their own dreadful record on the subcontinent.
There is still the small matter of Pakistan first, who are no mugs but shouldn’t – and won’t, given the up and down nature of their top order – be favourites, yet it is India on the horizon and attention will already be turning slightly towards what is looming as a severe challenge.
It would be too easy and possibly lazy to take the ‘they’ve got no chance’ option, as sport offers variation away from the predictable often enough to warn against complacency.
Australia shouldn’t have won in the Caribbean in 1995, England shouldn’t have won the 2005 Ashes, Leicester shouldn’t have won the Premier League last season, South Africa shouldn’t have beat the All Blacks in the 1995 Rugby World Cup final…
But they did and bearing the aforementioned in mind, Australia shouldn’t be ruled out of upsetting the apple cart.
How they do this depends on one significant factor and at the risk of stating the bleedin’ obvious, who’s going to do the spin bowling?
And I don’t mean who could they pick, as a couple of names immediately jump out, but more crucially, are they capable of gaining any traction in the series?
The Mitchell Starc-led seam attack will hold its own and while the top order have indifferent form in such conditions, they are more than capable of posting decent totals if they put their minds to it.
But as has been ruthlessly shown up in England’s doomed attempt, if your spinners aren’t cutting it, don’t expect to come out on top.
This is hardly revealing state secrets, but it really is as simple as that. Moeen Ali and Adil Rashid haven’t offered either control or a consistent threat, and given they’ve been required to do the donkey work, it put England on the back foot before they’d even started.
If the dependable Nathan Lyon – a fairly average 42 wickets at as many runs apiece in Asia – doesn’t show up and whoever partners him is found wanting, then, in fairly stark terms, Australia will come a distant second.
Any team in the modern era with claims to greatness needs to win in India if their boasts are to have any legitimacy.
Are Steven Smith’s men ready to take that leap? I wouldn’t hold your breath.
John Erichsen
Roar Guru
Lyon has had good success on one Indian pitch, Feroz Shah Kotla, which is the most spin friendly pitch in the world. he needs to make significant changes to his lines if he is to a major influence in the Indian series. He simply doesn't build up pressure as he bowls far too many deliveries that batsmen don't need to play. Maharaj, on debut, easily out-bowled Lyon without even turning the ball. He simply bowled accurately and made the batsmen play almost every delivery. Perhaps Lyon spends too much time focussing on ball revolutions and would do better honing his accuracy and working more on slowing down delivery speed so that flight and drift are a greater part of his skill set. O"Keefe must play if we are to have any chance and surely after Sri lanka, selectors won't revisit Mitch Marsh and Henriques style all-rounders. Travis Head should be packing his bags as we speak
John Erichsen
Roar Guru
That sounds just like the pitches in Sri Lanka, yet Starc took 24 wickets at 15. A good quick may not rip through the batting line-up like we saw at the Gabba, but they still have a role to play even if its short spells and working on reverse swing after 20 overs. In fact, our only Indian series win, in 2004, reveals the major role our pace bowlers played in that success. Gillespie (20 wickets @ 16), McGrath (14 @ 25) and Kasprowicz (9 @ 28) all had significant impact in the series. Good quicks will always be better value than ordinary spinners, given how accomplished Indian batsmen are in playing spin bowling. This is why Warne, the greatest spin bowler ever, averaged 43 in India. Given how ordinary Lyon and Holland were in Sri Lanka, it is unlikely that a couple of spin bowlers averaging 30-40+ per wicket will win us the series. Of course, if you believe the Lyon "GOAT" delusion, your views may differ. If you do believe that, I have some swampland I am interested in selling. Care to have a look?
John Erichsen
Roar Guru
Many cricket fans will be content with Australia holding their own for a session or two but not capitulating as was the case in Sri Lanka. As for winning in India, perhaps we need to embrace modern schooling's "everyone gets a ribbon' philosophy. Then our cricketers can all be winners, returning from another Asian trouncing, with "Good Try" stickers and the warm fuzzies those stickers bring.
Tim Holt
Roar Guru
It is a sad cross I bare particularly with following them from the late 1950's and being able to remember when aside for 'Manure', we were the biggest club in England :( we look better under Bruce but are light years away from being what we need to be. our midfield is a complete joke, a cruel one at that
Rabbits
Guest
So you're a Villa fan just like me. Blimey, I thought all the other rats jumped off the ship!
Brasstacks
Guest
They got hammered in England but were pretty competitive here. It is not their fault if we provided them flat pitches. They almost won the first test in Adelaide and if I remember correctly had a couple of crucial howlers going against them in the other test they lost. Had they won in Adelaide it could have easily been a 1-1 tied series. Yes, they need to win here and thats the bottom line, but they are far more competitive here than we are there. Their batsmen score runs here and they have issues in picking 20 wickets. We can neither bat not bowl there.
Tim Holt
Roar Guru
Spot on Burgy, too much attention is paid to performances in ODi cricket when selecting for tests. Without realising it has no relevance to test cricket as well as the standard being very low If you want a good recent example, look at Amit Mishra who was selected after dominating in ODI's I cannot see any Australian spinner troubling the Indians, in fact they are likely to get dominated for they lack the craft and guile necessary to trouble good players of spin. A mauler like Murali Vijay would rip the likes of Lyon/SOK new corn shots. If he faced one like Zampa it would be almost called off under the mercy rule
Immy
Guest
We have no chance whatsoever unless we can consistently score more than 450 which no team seems capable of doing, least of all us with our new debutants. I can't see Maddison or Renshaw surviving that tour. Mostly we'll lose because I expect the selections for India to be bizarre as always. Henriques? (last picked on the back of some poor IPL form), maxwell (who hasn't hit a hundred in years), etc. We need to bat deep over there with real batsmen. Real batsmen means no Maxwell. If you absolutely want a bat who can bowl non-match winning off spin, pick Travis Head. SOK needs to play. Lyon has bowled well there before so I'd keep him in for the first match. But really, there's no template for a win over there at the moment. We don't have the cattle. It'll be a whitewash.
Mark
Guest
Actually losing against South Africa always happens.
BurgyGreen
Guest
Yes, Zampa would get eaten alive. Bowling spin in limited overs cricket is completely different to the long-form game, and Zampa's numbers (also Cam Boyce's) will show you that. Giving Zampa a Test cap, when you consider his first-class figures, would be laughable.
Nudge
Guest
I don't think there is a current spinner in the world that has a better first class average than Sok
Broken-hearted Toy
Guest
Yes. It's going to be messy.
Broken-hearted Toy
Guest
It was an extremely inexperienced Sri Lankan line-up. That and speed was the great advantage Starc had.
Broken-hearted Toy
Guest
The wickets for the series just gone were fairly even in terms of test cricket wickets. The SA series on the other hand were real turners. I wouldn't blame India at all for sharpening the turn with Aus on the horizon. They are hopeless against any kind of real spin.
Alex L
Roar Rookie
No quicks are even approaching effective over there after day one of a test match, there's just no pace, bounce, or movement to be had.
danno
Guest
2004 is a while ago, probably look at the England 2012 4 test tour of India as a ray of hope. Swann and Panesar took 37 wickets between them and averaged mid 20s leading to test series victory for the poms. You would have to seriously look at SOK and Holland as they are the most potent shield bowlers. I am not sure Lyon will trouble the Indians.
jonty smith
Roar Guru
Honestly, I think we have to play 4 pace bowlers and maxwell as an all-rounder if we are to do alright in india. Playing spinners is just playing into their hands. Even if the pitch doesn't suit our quicks, it'll challenge india moree than giving them gentle spinners to face. Just a theory
Mike Dugg
Guest
Most of those wickets were taken in a dead rubber match just like Lyons recent supposed good output in the 3rd march against South Africa
Mike Dugg
Guest
Vettori hardly spun it and Jadeja is a dart bowler. Okeefe has been very good in the a tour he did there and looked very dangerous in Sri Lanka.
AlanKC
Guest
Nonsense - you pick bowlers who can actually perform in those conditions - a second rate spinner (picked simply because he's a spinner makes as much sense as not picking a quick because he doesn't get it up over 140 ks) in India will be much less effective than a decent quick...