Bunny chow is a Durban delicacy: a hollowed-out loaf of bread filled with hot curry. No cutlery required or permitted.
The beleaguered Boklings just hollowed out some French baguettes and stuffed them full of something, too.
This may not have been a great vintage of Les Bleues, but a 3-0 whitewash (11 tries to 4) where the result was never in doubt in the last quarter of any of the three Tests is not to be sneezed at, given the putrid 2016 version of the Boks.
Coach Allister Coetzee was given two heavyweight assistants in Saracens guru Dr Brendan Venter (an offensive defence) and Franco Smith (a cleverer attack than last year’s Mr Stick). It showed.
Although the French chose to kick almost exclusively to exit (only 13 times per Test), and thus carried the ball 187 times more than South Africa (17.3 kicks per game), the difference in metres-per-carry was as obvious as a bunny chow stain on a white shirt: 5.5m/carry for France; 7.5 m/carry for South Africa.
The visitors created only 13 line breaks from 427 carries; while the Boks broke the line 21 times from 240 carries. Almost all of the French “line breaks” consisted of running over hapless Bok winger, Raymond Rhule; he missed 11 tackles, and most of the tackles he made were after he missed his first attempt.
The 2017 Boks tackled with relish – a typical tackle had mustard, chutney, and hot sauce. A rampant Siya Kolisi, ubermensch-looking Jean-Luc du Preez, hard-grafting Franco Mostert, hardman Eben Etzebeth (increasingly looking like a French painter from the Left Bank, with his swirled hairstyle and pensive facial hair), and fireman Steven Kitshoff were all particularly brutal on Frenchmen carrying a ball.
But particular mention must go to Jan Serfontein, who may have taken hold of the 12 jersey, no matter what Damian de Allende, Rohan Janse van Rensburg, and the ghost of Jean de Villiers says.
A former world junior star, Serfontein has not reached his potential. In this series, he was often the best back on the field for long stretches. He was clever with his lines, he chased like a demon, he made turnovers, he crash-tackled, he pop-passed, and he kicked well.
When the Boks needed go-forward ball, they looked to Serfontein and another young phenom: Malcolm Macho Man Marx. He will need to fix his lineout throws or provide a steady source of possession to Sam Whitelock and Kieran Read in September, but in general play, Marx is Bismarck-meets-Coles. Marx made more line breaks and busted more tackles than any other Bok.
Kolisi was a workhorse, with moments of brilliance. He played all 240 minutes, carried more than anyone else, and made 44 hard tackles.
It is too soon to tell how good this group can be, but the bookies will now favour South Africa to reach its first game against New Zealand this year, unbeaten.
(AP Photo/Frank Augstein)
Players who grabbed a hold of their jersey
Siya Kolisi: with the caveat that it is still not clear if he is a 6 or a 7. Maybe he is the Saffa Hooper, but his form is irrepressible currently. The captaincy of the Stormers may have lifted his confidence. The strip, run, fend, and offload to send Elton Jantjies in for the last try in the second Test, was a career highlight.
Mal Marx: the new Bismarck who just needs to throw better darts.
Jan Serfontein: his partnership with Jesse Kriel still has work to do, but in his own channel, he looks like the business.
Franco Mostert: he seems to have the perfect complementary toolkit to partner Etzebeth, all he does is work-work-work. He hits rucks like they were made for him. Pieter-Steph du Toit and Lood de Jager are no slouches, but they appear destined for the 2017 bench.
Andries Coetzee: the rookie fullback will have to do better in his defensive positioning, but he is safe under the high ball, has a big siege gun boot, and is a real counter-attacking menace.
Players who did not show enough
Raymond Rhule: he should lose his spot to Dillyn Leyds (against Argentina) or Combrinck (for the big Tests against New Zealand).
Beast Mtawarira: a shell of his former self, and Kitshoff is ready to rumble.
Players who grew up
Eben Etzebeth: he became the 60th Bok captain in the third Test; and looked comfortable, even when talking to the referee. His leadership did not look to detract from the beautiful brutality of his play. His try in the third Test took serious wrestling-grappling strength and all series, he hit like he meant it.
Elton Jantjies: he exited properly, he made his goals, he did not overrely on the inside pass, and he did not scream at his teammates as much. But his haircut? Maybe it is the Bunny Chop.
Jean-Luc du Preez: the big Aryan bruiser started to realise as he smashed Picamoles and Maestri and Camara back in the tackle that he is a boy no more.
Overall report card
Coaching: B+ (we will see much more from the Tests in New Zealand and Australia).
Coetzee: B+
Rhule: F
Kriel: B
Mapoe: C
Skosan: C+
Serfontein: A
Jantjies: B+
Cronje: B
Hougaard: C
Whiteley: B+
Du Preez: A
Mohoje: C
Kriel the flank: B
Kolisi: A
Mostert: B+
Etzebeth: A
Dreyer: C
Malherbe: B
Marx: A
Beast: C
Kitshoff: B+
Bongi: C
Oosthuizen: B-
PSDT: B
Lood: C
Paige: B-
Frans Steyn: B
Who is the Bok scrumhalf and who is his backup? What happens when Handre Pollard is healthy again? Can Rhule learn to tackle? How long will Beast keep his one jersey? Who is our opensider when we really need one? Who is the incumbent tighthead?
DavSA
Guest
Yes Ettienne he was instrumental in that lineout try , but also I neglected to mention his turnovers . He is like a 4th loose forward in that regard .
Just as an aside Handre Pollard is living off the reputation of what he did in a test against NZ a few years ago, he has never emulated that again in Super Rugby, Nor test rugby. I don't think he has the skill and nous required for fast open running rugby. I don't think he is the answer
RobC
Roar Guru
Nothing from EE is strange. Everything Exquisite
etienne marais
Guest
Harry, amongst Serfontein's legion abilities, you neglected to mention his try-resulting, jedi lineout skillz. (your list sits just fine with me, but I suspect he [Jan] will be much aggrieved in reviewing your unfinsihed list)
etienne marais
Guest
keep in mind that The Beast, as designated steamroller, mostly gets the ball in close quarters with very little open space in front of him in which to gather momentum...Marx, on the other hand, carries the hotrod-tractor designation, and he typically has a metre or two to build up sufficient momentum
Goldenaxe
Roar Rookie
Is he the one that schooled by the Argentineans a few years back on that fateful night in Durban??
Hannes
Guest
Review the ratings in the article...all got a C or lower with the exception of Kolisi and Jantjies that had a food series. You cannot beat the All Blacks with multiple C grade players. Rhule got an F as his defense was very poor, but he is not the standard. Nothing to do with racism as I understand the need for quotas, just would like to see players grab these opportunities and step up like some of their team mates did e.g. Du Preez.
AussieBokkie
Roar Rookie
And Paige - he is definitely a quota player. Great article Harry - some really positive signs in the Springboks team at present. Coetzee was humbled by last year's horror show, and he should be applauded for changing his tune and luring Venter, Franco Smith and (inevitably I hope) Erasmus into the ranks. I personally would love to see Combrink replace Rhule, Francois Venter replace Kriel and have Van Rensburg on the bench. Jantjies hasn't put a foot wrong but I would still like to see Pollard back at 10 and Jantjies as cover on the bench. There's a lovely culture brewing in the Bok camp and for the first time in many years, I'm genuinely optimistic about beating anyone not named the All Blacks.
DavSA
Guest
Not just a bunny chow Harry , but a Mean Bunny Chow. The Standouts Etsebeth , Mostert , Kitshoff and a brilliantly brief cameo by Lood De Jager , boy is SA spoilt in the locks . Kolisi was great , Jean Luc impresses and Whiteleys leadership stand out , but I am afraid still too many passengers . ....Raymond Rhule missed at least 7 tackles in the 3rd test . In my old High School 1st team that would have got a player the chop. ... Oupa Mohoje did us all a favour by KO ing himself and I'm afraid scrumhalf is a problem . Hougaard passing was dreadful . At least 50-60% of the time the ball receiver was having to stretch in another direction to take the pass ... He seems to be trying just a little too hard ..Dunno . But he is not the answer . ... The player of the series for me was Serfontein . His tackling was absolutely sensational , both defensively and offensively and he asked tons of questions of the French with ball in hand. ... A while ago here on the Roar there was a very good debate as to whether Coles or Bismarck was the best hooker in world rugby with some very good comments supporting both players cases ... But lets say it now .. there is an heir apparent in the wings and his name is Malcolm Marx . ...at 120kg's but with great pace , vision and yes when its called for serious fronting up and I might add only 22 years old ....its almost scary .. Finally Coetzee is lauded for bringing in Venter and Smith who have made an immediate impact in a very short space of time on the coaching side but ironically all it has done for me is to highlight his own incompetency . He had the Boks for an entire season last year and they regressed faster than my beer goes flat.
Andre
Guest
With the exception of rhule how did the other blacks perform badly. Skosan bad which game did you watch. Mapoe was unlucky to be dropped and did nothing wrong. Stop with your black white glasses mentality. We in SA hear it every day and its bad as it is already. Look at your fellow roares like Harry and BB for guidance
Hannes
Guest
I mentioned that Kolisi and Jantjies made good progress but others disappointed. The Boks need to get where the Blitzbokke is at. With "qaotas" like Sanatla, Africa, Specman, Branco and Geduld that select themselves - you can select the best without considering skin colour. Until there are enough quality black players the Boks cannot select their best team. A sad reality.
Hannes
Guest
Wish it was that simple.... The majority of South African youth plays soccer with no interest in rugby. The rugby players that make it to elite level, without exception, attended top rugby former white schools. The argument that the Bok team should reflect the demographics is bull as the rugby playing population do not and will not until rugby is played in aĺl schools. The government has no interest or ability provide facilities suitable for rugby in the townships. You cannot play rugby on dirt fields you need grass...
Brett Susan
Guest
I really enjoyed this article... thanks for the read. It has been years since I have had so much enthusiasm for the game.
Harry Jones
Expert
SA v OZ will be really fascinating...
Nicholas Bishop
Expert
May have to wait til RC Harry, unless Lions progress to SR finals...
Neil Back
Roar Rookie
Launchbury, Itoje, Kruis and Lawes might argue with that second row statement.
Carlos the Argie
Roar Guru
Harry, You all Bok supporters were sailing into the depths of some Dante's inferno last year. Somehow, there was some light into the tunnel and I have to say I was entertained with the French games. I don't think the French were that bad and some of the players had lots of promise. But the Boks seem to be playing much better this year. Even some of the mongrel is "timely". I just wish Etzebeh tried to remove heads much less than what he is doing. Him and Lavanini would make the meanest second row partners in rugby. This year, the depths of desperation are between the once mighty Pumas, now declawed pussy cats, and Wallabies. I seriously tried to watch the Georgia game and became so incredibly bored after the first half that i couldn't finish it. The Italian game was also terribly uninteresting. Between the poor Verdi singers robbed by imaginative TMOs and their other naive errors, to quote a current famous American philosopher: "It was SAD!" What is going to happen with the Pumas? They got 97 points from the ABs in 1997. Maybe they will be close to that score this year. I better focus on my Dolomites bike tour training. Too much climbing in a too short period of time. Pain is good.
I suspect the upturn is in spite of Coetzee, as long as the team is now allowed to be selected on merit and there is a continued effort to improve the intellectual property of the coaching staff.
Harry Jones
Expert
we can only hope
Harry Jones
Expert
Nic, when are you going to do one of your big analysis things on the Boks? We neeeeeeed you