The NRL has issued a pre-emptive apology for tonight’s Rabbitohs vs Bulldogs match.
The organisation stated it regrets exposing a cluster-fart of clunky, decaffeinated rugby league to an innocent primetime audience.
They also conceded the time slot should’ve been allocated to something more appropriate, namely the Storm vs Roosters match, or two hours of test pattern.
The apology was made even though the fixture’s tedium warning was downgraded from ‘catastrophic’ to ‘sufferable’ after Souths belatedly exhibited a pulse last weekend.
Critics have earmarked the match as a potential coma, with many forecasting something akin to “two drunks sloppily punching-on outside an RSL, except much less hilarious”.
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The Rabbitohs’ season has been a painstaking farrago of stop-start stodge, while the Bulldogs are a team instructed to show adventure, but only on drop-outs.
Due to the two sides’ astonishing impotency, bookmakers have granted both sides the start in line betting.
But despite the warning signs, the NRL agreed to their inconsequential meeting in a peak ratings slot, when honest people are eating dinner, ignoring family and attempting to forget about the slavery of their job.
However, remorseful officials claim this will be the final time they contaminate the sanctity of lucrative advertising spots.
Following talks, a raft of laws have been proposed to ensure two clunky sides are never screened before children’s bedtime again.
One proposal is for Canterbury and Souths to be played on an unoccupied island, an idea with merit as it replicates the surrounds of their current home ground.
Alternatively, other bosses simply propose all schedulers be forced to undergo alcohol counselling.
The NRL also voiced their displeasure to Channel Nine over their role in the fiasco, making the requisite hollow and non-binding threats about wresting back control of scheduling.
In response, the broadcaster denied all wrongdoing and reiterated their position of answering to no one except the dineros.
A spokesperson for Nine blindly spruiked the game’s positives, highlighting both team’s potential to be late-season spoilers.
He urged fans to tune in to see Michael Maguire continue spoiling Damien Cook’s career and Des Hasler the Bulldogs in general.
Christov
Guest
I for one am glad they have saturday night footy on, could get used to 4 games per week
MrJSquishy
Roar Pro
Thanks, Andrew. It does highlight/confirm that 9 believes that certain teams have better ratings. But, the Tigers & Bulldogs have been appalling this year. Souths have been ordinary, but not appalling. Are they really attracting more viewers by locking in these teams on Sundays and Thursdays? And how many more viewers? I think there is a big percentage of NRL fans that will watch any team on a Thursday night (purely because there is no other sport on then - and you don't have Foxtel), but, I doubt many were excited for Souths v Bulldogs last night...
Big Daddy
Guest
Rugby league is alive and well. And South's and Canterbury are supposed to have the biggest supporter base in Sydney. I bet most of the crowd had 2 goes at the turnstile.
Beavis
Guest
I reckon there were 32 bays with people in them (generous) and between 50 to 100 in each (more like 50) which puts it at 1600 to 3200 with a few buying food at the back - laughable. Or they are counting the reserved seat members who didn't turn up as they have done in the past. I hope the tele has a look at this because the herald certainly wont
Angela
Guest
We AFL fans get a reasonable FTA deal, although it's not as good as it was. But yes all (?most of) the Swans matches are available. Plus GWS. When watching weekly NRL matches (as opposed to State of Origin or Finals) can't help noticing the underwhelming audiences, lack of atmosphere and flatness of compering. AFL is eating you guys alive.
chris
Guest
Mute works well whenever that goose is on
Your Kidding
Guest
Yep, you guessed it. Like clockwork, they reported a crowd of 8,200. Liar liar pants on fire. Looked less than 3,000 and that's the truth. Greenberg makes me sick how he glosses over the real state of the game just to protect the boys club at NRL HQ.
Beavis
Guest
No a concurrent double header with one game on the conventional north-south field and another game going east-west across the field. Better still have Ray Hadley calling one game and Ray Warren the other at the same time and the bunker deciding which game is more interesting to decide which commentary to take.
Beavis
Guest
I'm guessing the crowd will be the obligatory 8 thousand but when the camera panned across you could count the spectators in the stand with ease. Is this what Greenberg meant when he said the crowds (down a couple of %) would be equal to last years by the end of the year by hiring an Enron accountant
johnnyball
Guest
that was a game to make your eyeballs fall out as they sought to escape what they were seeing. Should have put Dwight Yokum on singing in the background for entertainment. Commentators had nothing not that I blame them.
David Brown
Roar Rookie
"...while the Bulldogs are a team instructed to show adventure, but only on drop-outs." Excellent!
Todd Shand
Guest
Please support Gay marriage.
The Barry
Roar Guru
I hope you're right champ. After being death ridden all day I'm predicting this to be the most entertaining game of the season...? Hopefully Burgess and Graham renew hostilities...?
Rob
Guest
I'm tipping a highly entertaining game from these 2. The season is over for both and the players may just enjoy themselves with the ball tonight. Two big packs that love to be physical and a couple of fiery Poms that hate losing too each other. Full moon week so anything is possible. 3 Hats and TB will hate to be on the losing side. I'm with TB's mob because the Dogs are due for a win and thier defence has been solid. MOM Klemmer for producing an offload and scoring under the sticks.
steveng
Roar Rookie
News Flash...500 artists have been appointed to ANZ stadium by the NRL, to paint blue and white Doggie jumpers and Red and Green Rabbitohs jumpers onto men and women mannequin spectators, sitting in seats. That's about the only way that the ANZ will look half decent with spectators and not an embarrassment to the NRL.
The Barry
Roar Guru
Multi-ball like the old pinball machines would be rugby leagues greatest innovation...
Big Daddy
Guest
Just goes to show they have a lot of overpaid executive's who really don't have a clue.
your kidding
Guest
Weird to put this game on in prime time Thursday night. Whats weirder is that the NRL don't seem to be embarrassed by these scheduling decisions and just make up excuses and dodgy crowd numbers to justify the decisions. Surely people are wising up to whats going on here.
Albo
Guest
Perhaps he if he was paid more than that $700k pittance, he might practise holding the ball !
Albo
Guest
Spot on Max ! Can't wait for the Board's explanation on those "marquee" players values ? Looks like someone is in cahoots with some player managers ?