Brisbane and Manly can't win this years premiership. Here's why

With the regular season done and dusted, we are entering that wonderful time of the year where the top eight finals series commences in that windy spring month of September.

From my personal perspective, season 2017 has flown by so fast, it has left a shadow behind. It seemed like yesterday when the Wests Tigers sacked Jason Taylor as coach. That was after Round 3.

The top eight teams who qualified for the finals are Melbourne, Roosters, Brisbane, Parramatta, Cronulla, Manly, Penrith and North Queensland.

As for the teams who will miss out on the eight, they should ready themselves for a Mad Monday that lasts a week and go on overseas trips to Las Vegas and Bali.

Meanwhile, Melbourne Storm won their third minor premiership in the space of seven years. They are so consistent, the Melbourne Storm and minor premierships seemed to go hand in hand just like Torvill and Dean, where they have pretty much skated away from the rest of the competition this year.

However, will the Storm get the opportunity to produce their own ‘Bolero’ moment on grand final day? With the big three of Slater, Cronk and Smith playing together for one last time, the purple brigade from bleak city will be hard to beat.

With the Storm so dominant, it feels like the remaining seven teams in the top eight are making up the numbers as they are so far behind. In fact, some of the teams are so far behind, they actually believe they’re leading.

Teams in the top eight who are well positioned such as Roosters (second) and Parramatta (fourth) are a chance to dance with Melbourne (most likely on grand final day), while the Penrith Panthers, from seventh position, need to win four games in a row to win it. If they achieve that, it would be as remarkable as two cats synchronising a move with their tails to form a love heart.

While the Cowboys (eighth) without Johnathan Thurston may lack the necessary tools to go all the way, although they still have the nuts and bolts of a side that could be more than just a nuisance value come finals time and possibly lasso one or two teams.

Meanwhile, defending premiers Cronulla, who finished fifth, do indeed need a miracle. The last time a side won back to back in a unified comp was the Brisbane Broncos back in 1992-93. Although out of difficulties grow miracles, and the Sharks are still in it with a bite.

Which then leaves the remaining two teams, Brisbane and Manly, who finished third and sixth respectively on the ladder. This author is hate to the bearer of the bad news- the Broncos and Manly are not going to win the premiership this year. The reason won’t be due to a heavy dose of hayfever sniffles, where they go rushing to their local pharmacy for some antihistamine.

But alas, there is a thread doing the rounds on a rugby league website forum where no team has won a premiership after conceding 50 points in a regular season match. It’s a thread that has been going on for four years and it has proven to be as flawless as a porcelain teapot. It hasn’t cracked yet.

Following and taking the word of a rugby league forum thread may be fanciful from my behalf. Although, I’d much rather be a witty fool, than a foolish wit. So to give that thread more credence, I tweeted David Middleton asking him the question about whether a team has won a premiership after conceding 50 points in a regular season match. Here is Middleton’s reply:

The prophets of doom for Brisbane and Manly occurred when Brisbane got slipped by the Eels 52-34 in Round 25, while a few weeks prior, the Dragons raised their own half century against Manly with a 52-22 scoreline.

Before they inevitably fail, Brisbane will have some moments. James Roberts will cause problems out wide, while Ben Hunt will try and catch a ball from the kick off, before he departs down south to St.George-Illawarra.

As for Manly, Daly Cherry-Evans will have his long neck on the line to provide the Sea Eagles with guidance. But with the Sea Eagles needing to win four games to claim the premiership, and the fact they conceded more than 50 points in a regular season game, in all honesty, Manly are better off forfeiting the finals, go to their leagues club and karaoke sing The Beatles Norweigan Wood: This Bird Has Flown.

So anyway, my prediction for this year’s grand final will be between Melbourne Storm versus Sydney Roosters, with the Storm carrying the Provan-Summons trophy. However, knowing my luck, the teams lining up on grand final day will be Brisbane versus Manly.

If that was to be the likely of unlikely outcomes, then this article would be deemed to be proven as flakey as a head and shoulders commercial.