Ballance and Vince? I'm not convinced

It was tempting to pen this column about the latest escapades of the extremely short fuse that has its human form in the shape of a certain Ben Stokes – I’m sure there’s a gag there about going from incarceration to a penal colony, but I can’t find it – but what could possibly be added?

Probably drank too much (allegedly), probably hit someone (allegedly), spent the night in the cells (definitely), was released under investigation (definitely), broke a finger in the whole sorry episode (definitely the former, possibly the latter).

Cue the damage limitation and, although not at the time of writing, the contrite apology about letting family/teammates/country/himself down and the promise to get some help to rein in the evident capacity for self-destruction.

But that’s pretty small fare compared to the earth-shattering announcement of the 16-strong England squad that will shortly depart for distant shores with the intention of keeping hold of the famous urn.

I say earth-shattering because the identity of the tourists was revealed by a national newspaper – no names, oh what does it matter, The Times – two days early and was happily replicated by every other broadsheet and tabloid.

I can’t safely predict an England victory this Australian summer but I can safely assume that should the England and Wales Cricket Board decide a future in intelligence gathering is their next move, they would be dangerously inept given the frequency with which privileged information finds a way of appearing before the official unveiling.

(Image: Wiki Commons)

I doubt this caused too many issues as the naming of cricket team can hardly be classed as a state secret, but what it did allow was for an extra 48 hours of head-scratching at the choices for the two spots up for grabs in the top order, positions three and five.

It’s saying something when Mark Stoneman and Dawid Malan’s respective inclusions barely raise an eyebrow. Both have done okay without nailing down a spot, and the jury is still out on both.

But not quite as much as it is for Gary Ballance and James Vince who, unless something drastic happens between now and the end of November when the two sides gather in Brisbane, are probably going to battle it out for one of the available positions.

The only plus mark for either is that Ballance started his Test career strongly and at least has something to show for his efforts, but the more recent outings have seen a glaring technical deficiency exposed by good quality seam bowling.

Quite simply he doesn’t get forward. And I don’t mean he struggles to get out to the ball; rather, he doesn’t manage any forward momentum at all. This turns what most would see as half-volleys into length deliveries and the drive becomes a non-existent offering.

Temperamentally he is sound, and he forced his way back into the national side through the weight of runs for his county side, which is how it should be, but those heady days when he raced to 1000 Test runs with few difficulties seem a long time ago.

(Image: AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth)

As for Vince, there is a talented player in there but he has neither the Test record – a paltry average of below 20 from seven appearances without a single half-century and a penchant for the loose drive – nor the domestic form to warrant a recall, which makes it all the more surprising.

In his defence, there haven’t been too many others making an unarguable case for selection, but it still strikes as one hell of a gamble by those making the decisions.

The outcome is an England top order that looks penetrable, and should the main men of Alastair Cook and Joe Root underwhelm, there may be trouble ahead.

I’m not going to go for this ‘they’re going to get whitewashed’ doom and gloom, as England are hardly showing up with a poor side, but the surety of an established batting line-up will not be there, and this will be the case whether or not they fire in the warm-up matches.

Both England and Australia have weaknesses, but if you were to list them side by side, the aforementioned would stick out like a sore thumb.

I’m hoping that this is negativity that will be swept aside in time. Many a player has proven a doubter wrong, but just as you can guarantee Stokes is in line for a somewhat ‘friendly’ welcome by the Australian public, you can also safely bet on there being numerous fingers being very much crossed.