The all-time great alphabet teams: Alphabet Ashes, Part 1

In finalising my A to Z teams for Australian cricket, someone suggested I should select some England alphabet teams to play off against them, probably as a joke.

However, I am not one to shy away from a challenge, so here it is: the Alphabet Ashes! Welcome, cricket nerds!

For each letter of the alphabet, an England team has been selected and their relative strength has been tested using the same points system as for the Australian teams. For details of the scoring method, please refer here to the final article ranking the Australian alphabet teams.

For each letter they are put up against the corresponding Australian team to identify who is the stronger. For each head to head, there is either a win, loss or tie. At the end we will see which set of alphabet squads come out in top.

I suspect England’s larger pool of players, with about 515 county teams, will carry the day, although it may depend on the distribution of that depth to particular letters.

For the cricket nerds among you who are experts on English cricket, I spent months researching the Australian teams and a few hours in total on the England ones, so feel free to suggest plenty of changes.

I will present the head-to-head battles in the same order as my Australian team ranking, so that means the mighty QUXZ teams do battle first. Given the length, this will be a three-part series.

So without further ado, let us begin the Alphabet Ashes.

QUXZ teams

Verdict: Deadly Derek Underwood was the difference here. The Australia side has no all time great to match him. George Ulyett also played 25 Tests as a genuine all-rounder but it drops right off after that. Some of the batting is truly appalling.

England 1 Australia 0 (19 points to 16)

V teams

Verdict: This is no contest. England have Vaughan, Verity and Voce, who are all good to great Test players. There are another four who have played Tests and the rest are pretty solid county stalwarts. England jump to an early lead.

England 2 Australia 0 (45.5 total points to 32)

Y teams

Verdict: Australia are on the board! This England team is very average. There are five international players, but they mostly played one or two Tests and their records are not special. No one averages over 35 with the bat in first-class cricket, and there is no pace at all in their set of left-handers. Yallop is the stand-out bat and Bruce Yardley is the quality bowler.

England 2 Australia 1 (60 total points to 51)

I teams

Verdict: This was a close one but Australia comes out on top to even the ledger. England have a quality captain but again their batting is really poor (Illingworth averaged 23.23 in Tests). We have a single first-class batting average over 40. The bowling is willing with Test experience but no players that were actually successful in Tests. The Australian spin twins of Ironmonger and Iverson will eat this team alive.

England 2 Australia 2 (81 total points to 73)

E teams

Verdict: The batting here is fairly similar, with each team having two solid Test cricketers, but England have an advantage in spin bowling, with two experienced long-term Test cricketers. They also have one of England’s greatest ever wicketkeepers. England re-take the lead.

England 3 Australia 2 (109 total points to 97)

A teams

Verdict: England surge ahead as this is a landslide. The opening combination of Atherton and Amiss is very good and is a clear advantage. Australia have a slight advantage in middle-order batting. The pace bowling is even. Spin is an advantage to England and Les Ames averaged a Gilchrist-like 47 as a long-term Test keeper.

England 4 Australia 2 (142 total points to 121.5)

N teams

Verdict: A clear win to Australia. England only possess three internationals and only one player appeared in more than three Tests. No batsman averages over 40 in first-class cricket and only four average over 30. The bowling is not bad.

England 4 Australia 3 (163.5 total points to 146.5)

So at the third-way point, England holds a slender lead, by a single match. The aggregate points definitely favour England, which might be their depth coming through. Come back next time for Part 2 as we seek to crown the winner of the Alphabet Ashes.