My name is Khan: The Bollywood Khan XI

This is an article written just for some fun. In fact, the reader will gather minimal cricketing information from it.

The first name in my list would surprise a few people.

Mohsin Khan
Even after ending his Test career with the Pakistan team in the autumn of 1986, Mohsin still remained in the news as a Bollywood actor.

His connection with Bollywood was established much earlier. During the long tour to India in the 1979-80 season, Mohsin remained among the reserves and failed to break in to the main team. But he didn’t exactly waste his time. He fell in love with a Bollywood actress and eventually married her.

As an opener in this team, he would fancy his chances of breaking Charles Bannerman’s long-standing Test record.

Aamir Khan
Being the successful captain of the Lagaan cricket team, he is picked as the captain and opening bat of this team. In the movie, based on a village in Gujarat in the 19th century, he opened the batting and made the winning hit in the last ball of the match against a British team.

His selection as captain here may lead to a bit of an internal feud, but such things are fairly common in most subcontinent teams.

In the spirit of The Three Idiots, he would encourage the younger members of the team to play their natural game, not bothering too much about the management advice.

He would prefer Coca-Cola during the drink breaks.

Salman Khan
Apart from his numerous successful appearances as a romantic hero, he has also played some vital supporting roles – most notably in Baghban (my late dad’s great favourite) and in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (my wife’s favourite).

With this in my mind, while I have picked him mainly as a number three bat, he would be required to do some part-time pace bowling, perhaps in a Doug Walters-like role.

Shahrukh Khan
The fans would expect him to bat like Sachin Tendulkar. Some 20 years ago, in a commercial for a soft drink, he wore the Indian national team uniform, changed his appearance to look like Sachin and managed to fool the security guards to get in to the Indian dressing room.

He would mostly be fielding in the slips, putting him in the deep would be a bit risky. He will get too much attention from the female folks and would find it difficult to concentrate on the game.

Saif Ali Khan
Son of a former Indian cricket captain and a top actress, he followed his mother while choosing his profession. In this team, though, I have picked him in a role similar to his fatter (Late Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi). He would be batting in the middle order.

Quite successful in playing comedy roles, he would react to any attempted sledging by the opposition in a lighthearted manner.

Imran Khan
Just his screen name (his real name is Imran Pal) is enough to get him in my team as an all-rounder. He is the nephew of Aamir. But no nepotism is involved in his inclusion here.

(Allsport/Getty Images)

Kader Khan
He is the wicketkeeper in my team. Highly successful as a comedian, he would be required to keep the morale of the team high on and off the field during difficult matches.

Amjad Khan
Mainly a negative role actor, Amjad was immortalised for his role as Gabbar Singh in the super-hit movie Sholay in 1975, although some would argue that it was Amjad who made the character Gabbar Singh immortal.

Anyway, in my team he is the main off spinner. Although he belonged to the era of Erapalli Prasanna and Srinivas Venkataraghavan, he would be a modern-day offie, not hesitant to throw in doosras or tisras to deceive the opposition batsmen.

And he won’t mind resorting to ball tampering if the situation becomes that desperate.

Irfan Khan
Six feet tall, he would be the main fast bowler in my team. His experience of working in the UK and USA would be vital for the team in foreign tours.

Feroz Khan
An actor, producer and director, most of his famous performances on the screen came as supporting roles. So I have given him the third seamer’s job after Imran and Irfan.

Fardeen Khan
Son of Feroz, he would be the leggie in my team. Like the Indian leggie Narendra Hirwani, he made an impressive debut. His role in the 1998 film Prem Aggan earned him the Filmfare Best Debut Award.