Quid game: Why Newcastle’s Saudi takeover turns my stomach as much as the Netflix classic

By Ian Nacho / Roar Rookie

This week the world has been captivated by two tales of immoral billionaires exploiting decent people into abandoning their dignity and principles in pursuit of a dollar.

One was Netflix’s instant classic Squid Game, the other was the Saudi takeover of Newcastle United.

The latter is nauseating for reasons that are glaringly obvious to anyone who doesn’t look at the world through black-and-white-tinted glasses.

Saudi Arabia’s deplorable human rights record is not worth rehashing in this article – firstly because this is a sports forum, and secondly because it’s exposed by even the most cursory Google search.

As for Toon fans’ wave of whataboutism, that’s schoolyard logic peddled exclusively by those with the intellect to match.

(Photo by Tony Marshall/Getty Images)

Mike Ashley was a terrible owner for equally obvious (though less immoral) reasons.

But cheering his replacement by a Saudi consortium is like celebrating a doctor’s visit where you’re cleared of a cold but diagnosed with pneumonia.

If Newcastle fans were so desperate to get rid of Ashley, why didn’t they protest more effectively for the last decade and a half?

A more sophisticated set of supporters would have coordinated a boycott to make his ownership unviable and force him out the door. If Newcastle fans didn’t turn up, Ashley would’ve stopped turning up too.

England fans fawn over Germany’s supporter culture as if things like affordable tickets, standing terraces and alcohol within view of the pitch simply landed in their laps.

They didn’t. German fans fight for these things. Remember how the German Football Association ditched Monday night games after years of sustained, coordinated protest?

Ignoring the regulation that would prevent such a takeover from occurring in the Bundesliga, German supporters simply would not tolerate owners like Newcastle’s new ones. People power makes the very thought inconceivable.

Instead, Newcastle fans’ strategy – and ‘strategy’ is a generous description – was the occasional ham-fisted demo outside St James’ Park, a lot of whinging on Twitter and crossing their fingers Ashley would leave.

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After 14 years they’ve finally got their wish. No wonder they’re raising a glass of bubbly without a whiff of irony that they’re toasting a regime that outlaws alcohol but has no issue with much more serious crimes.

Social media has been awash with pie charts comparing the Saudis’ wealth to rival club owners and portraits of Kylian Mbappe and Erling Haaland photoshopped into black-and-white stripes.

But let’s wait and see how they spend their dosh.

Headlines linking Steven Gerrard with the managerial after Steve Bruce will vacate made rival fans guffaw.

To steal a line from a much funnier friend, the Saudis approaching Gerrard is like a millionaire walking into a bottle shop, staring at the whiskey shelf and deciding he’ll grab the Johnnie Walker. And no, not gold label. Not blue. But red. And mixed with Coke Zero.

The cash will also create an expectation that’s impossible to satisfy. Think of England’s biggest clubs: how many of those fan-bases are happy right now?

City fans still pine over the Champions League, labour under a persecution complex, and don’t bother filling their stadium. United fans have been deprived of success by a decade of mismanagement. Arsenal and Tottenham have fallen off the map.

Liverpool fans are smiling again after a three-decade dry spell, and Chelsea fans can be happy too – check back in May once the Premier League season has concluded. Broadly speaking though, the cliche rings true: money doesn’t buy happiness.

In the final episode of Squid Game – don’t worry, no spoilers – one poignant moment discusses how people with excessive amounts of money invariably get bored.

It’s already happened at the Etihad, where the atmosphere could be politely described as funereal.

And it will happen in Newcastle too – when the Strawberry is demolished to make way for a luxury hotel, or when the international tourists swap their seats at Old Trafford for St James’ Park, or when the average ticket price soars out of the financial reach of the regular fan.

Or when local players, so cherished by a fan-base as parochial as Newcastle’s, are consigned to the dustbin of history alongside Sports Direct advertisements and Steve Bruce’s clipboard.

Who knows, maybe the winner of the Squid Game can invest his winnings to take over the club next.

The money would even drip with less blood.

The Crowd Says:

2023-01-09T20:54:14+00:00

Coastyboi

Guest


Newcastle are third on the EPL table. A celebratory drink is in order.

AUTHOR

2021-10-11T05:37:21+00:00

Ian Nacho

Roar Rookie


Are jaws made of glass on Tynside? :laughing:

2021-10-11T05:30:20+00:00

Tiger Toon

Roar Rookie


Comical article, great satire - might print it out and use it for kitty litter later. :laughing: Would take far too long to pick this article apart and discuss the few nuggets worthy of discussion given the deluge of artificial outrage that's here. But a quiet afternoon at work, so here's a few points to get it started and address some of the misinformation. Hopefully like Newcastle's future prospects under new ownership, the comprehension and research skills of this writer will improve. "But cheering his replacement by a Saudi consortium is like celebrating a doctor’s visit where you’re cleared of a cold but diagnosed with pneumonia." A bit of research would have told you that the celebrations and scenes of joy were not at becoming the richest club in the world but rather seeing the back of a deeply hated and despised owner. Yes some fans would undoubtedly be over the moon of winning the lottery of financial powerhouse owners to help take the club to lofty heights; but frankly, most Toon fans would have been overjoyed with a poorer (net worth) owner if it meant the end of Mike Ashley (a man none of us would even wish on our bitter rivals Sunderland). Most of us fans just want a project or a vision that we can become a part of and to see the club trying to be the best it can be. There's some very easy low hanging fruit for the new owners to get them popularity points that doesn't involve spending millions on new players - honest and regular communication with the fans, public acts of reconciliation with club legends, integration with local charities such as the Sir Bobby Robson foundation and local foodbanks. Some reports Ashley is sniffing around the financially stricken Derby County now, let's hope that doesn't happen. I look at Brighton and Brentford for example under Bloom and Benham respectively who are fantastic owners with a clear vision and love for their respective clubs. Ashley's net worth is probably more than both of them combined but he's not a lick on either of them as an owner. He ran the club as a soulless advertising board for his Sports Direct empire without a care for the club, city or fans. Leicester are seen as a model club of how an ambitious owner and vision can materialise and challenge the established big order. I'd love to have that kind of owner and journey of transformation instead of the likely influx of plastic supporters that follow any popular big club (though a bit of research into Leicester's owners will reveal some shady controversies too). If Newcastle fans were so desperate to get rid of Ashley, why didn’t they protest more effectively for the last decade and a half? A more sophisticated set of supporters would have coordinated a boycott to make his ownership unviable and force him out the door. If Newcastle fans didn’t turn up, Ashley would’ve stopped turning up too. If you think Mike Ashley cared or would raise an eyebrow at an empty stadium, then you are as misguided as your faux outrage here. There has been many fan led attempts to pressure his departure everything from sits in, walk outs, paper airplanes, protests inside and outside the stadium, boycotting the club store, protests at Sports Direct stores, petitions and probably a few more I'm forgetting. What more can fans do when the league and FA stood limply by and did nothing for 14 odd years? Local council and national Government figures couldn't effect change either - and therein lies the problem with private ownership (which is a discussion worth having). You point to the victory of German football fans against Monday night football but that was a collective effort of supporters from many Bundesliga clubs. How many rival PL clubs would have joined us in solidarity? The answer is zero. Maybe as Mike Ashley puppet Rio Ferdinand said, 'maybe if the fans didn't like it, then the fans should have banded together to try and buy the club' (oh wait, that was tried as well). Perhaps we could have resorted to violence like West Ham fans did and damage parts of the stadium? Or when local players, so cherished by a fan-base as parochial as Newcastle’s, are consigned to the dustbin You might want to research just how Ashley treated club legends and heroes like Shearer, Keegan and Gutierrez because we've been there and done that already. Early signs suggest Shearer and Keegan will be involved in ambassadorial roles so already they are winning on that front. :thumbup: Football sold it's soul decades ago - the same people in the media standing on their soapboxes expressing outrage here probably went or watched the WC in Russia and likely will cover the Qatar tournament next year despite well publicised worker issues. We had journalists and television programs crying foul at the Super League formation but those same journalists and stations would have covered the competition had it gone ahead. Hypocrisy at it's finest wherever you want to look. At the end of the day, money and capital reigns supreme over morality both in society and in sport. It's not right but that's the way of the world. This takeover was initially stopped last year not on moral or human rights grounds, but that of TV piracy (oh perhaps from a few of the big 6 clubs leaning on the Premier League to protect their seats at the head of the table against a potential rival). This was a private sale between parties that the league eventually allowed (out of what I suspect was to cover their own dirty laundry from being revealed in a high profile arbitration case amidst the backdrop of growing noise over independent review and oversight of the PL). Oh and ironic you mentioned the coke zero bit, given their human rights violations (wasn't sure if that was a clever choice by design?). But I look forward to your next articles about how coke drinkers should be ashamed of themselves everytime they take a sip from their cans, or Apple users buying the latest iPhone should spare a thought to the forced labour camps in China or to give a thumbs down to consumers who shop via Amazon because they can't shop in person due to the pandemic despite the plight it creates for warehouse workers. etc etc. Heck, even your beloved Netflix isn't clean, maybe you should switch to Amazon Prime Stan...? That'll show them! P.S reading through the comments section, if the writer sees this, no need to refer me to the fifth paragraph :happy:

AUTHOR

2021-10-11T04:05:10+00:00

Ian Nacho

Roar Rookie


I'm flattered I've found such a passionate admirer in you :happy:

AUTHOR

2021-10-11T03:56:38+00:00

Ian Nacho

Roar Rookie


Coastyboi, I appreciate the Simpsons reference in your new burner name :laughing:

AUTHOR

2021-10-11T03:55:41+00:00

Ian Nacho

Roar Rookie


Coastyboi, you need to better disguise your burner accounts :stoked:

2021-10-11T03:26:56+00:00

The PTA has disbanded

Guest


You're a child. You've been exposed as a hypocrite and are repeatedly referring to a paragraph that doesn't in any way address the question or provide any defence of your argument. I assume you did poorly at school. Again, I'm writing to the editors to ask them to no longer publish your works until you can engage with those who have the temerity to disagree with you.

2021-10-11T03:25:26+00:00

The PTA has disbanded

Guest


You've not responded civilly to any question that challenges your article. Instead you have engaged in cheap deflection. I'll be writing to the editors to ask them to ban your articles until you are ready to engage with this forum like an adult.

2021-10-11T03:23:57+00:00

The PTA has disbanded

Guest


Your pathetic response to a well intentioned question only serves to highlight the fact this article is rubbish and indefensibly hypocritical. If anything you are just coming across as a racist. You seem to have no problem with other clubs being owned by representatives of repressive regimes, or indeed have written this article on equipment made on cheap labour in a repressive regime....but Saudi Arabia owning a football team is just a step too far. Puh-lease.

2021-10-11T03:20:33+00:00

The PTA has disbanded

Guest


This is the end? What a nonsense call.

2021-10-11T00:46:22+00:00

Punter

Roar Rookie


I wonder why?

2021-10-11T00:29:25+00:00

Roberto Bettega

Roar Rookie


This was not public knowledge back in 2018 when the bidding and selection process took place. The local Canberra businessman talked about significant overseas financial backing, but never publicly stated who that was. Here are two articles from that time, both are silent on who the financial backers are: https://www.theage.com.au/sport/soccer/former-ffa-board-member-danny-moulis-backs-canberra-a-league-bid-20181203-p50jt2.html https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-08-31/canberra27s-a-league-bid-how-realistic-is-it/10185064 Anyway, it's definitely a trend we are noticing with A-League franchises over the last 4 or 5 years.

2021-10-10T23:14:12+00:00

josh

Guest


I lived through the NSL era, to be told that football wasn't for me by fans of clubs like Hellas means i'm glad they're relegated to the history books.

2021-10-10T22:19:30+00:00

Texi

Roar Rookie


Well written Ian Nacho. As a long-suffering, life-long Newcastle fan, you can try as much as you like, but I'm having this moment. Ask any rational Toon fan and they'll be with you in despair at the funny money coming in to the EPL, however if it has to be our club and it has to be at the expense of a horrible owner, so be it. Looking forward to more of your writing on the Roar.

AUTHOR

2021-10-10T08:03:20+00:00

Ian Nacho

Roar Rookie


From someone who borrows their spelling from Avril Lavigne lyrics, I'll take your criticism as a compliment.

AUTHOR

2021-10-10T08:02:39+00:00

Ian Nacho

Roar Rookie


Comprehension mustn't be your strong suit, so I refer you to the article's fifth paragraph.

2021-10-10T08:00:59+00:00

Coastyboi

Guest


I value most scribes who write for The Roar, including you. However, I feel you’re not willing to back-up your opinions, & you hide from robust conversation by use of simple repetition. If you cannot acknowledge your woke hypocrisy, then you won’t grow as a writer. Thank you & all the best.

2021-10-10T07:53:15+00:00

MarkCroydon

Roar Rookie


I’m just interested to know why the author of this article supports the Saudi government by purchasing Netflix, Uber, Facebook, but is upset when Newcastle fans do they same when their favourite football team is purchased? Is it some sort of hatred of football?

2021-10-10T07:47:30+00:00

Ferno

Guest


Nice to have a fan in a warm day of summer :silly:

AUTHOR

2021-10-10T07:15:17+00:00

Ian Nacho

Roar Rookie


Always nice to have a fan — even among the dim-witted :happy:

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