What role should sport play in a young child's life?

My son is almost two and I must admit to fantasies of him being a Wallaby captain one day. As a newborn nursing for hours he and I were on the couch watching lots of Top 14, Guinness Premiership and Super 14 and cricket and I remember wondering if a love of rugby and cricket would find its way into him via osmosis. At the moment his obsession is with motorsport (from his Dad's side of the family) though he runs with a mini rugby ball sometimes and kicks a bit. He loves throwing balls and so I can't help but daydream about him playing cricket as well. Having said that, I'm very conscious of these dreams being mine only - in my head - and not projected onto him at all. I would hate to be a Damir Dokic of a sportsparent, I only hope that he will enjoy sport one day both for his own sake - and in a selfish way - as a way of having a family interest. I think he'd love doing Nippers one day as he loves running, sand, and is most likely to be as competitive as his Dad's family is, and even though swimming and the beach are not things we as a family enjoy, I'd love to see him being happy on the sand. Kind of what's its all about!

Damn! I so wanted to do a Luca Brasi, from The Godfather, and say, darkly, "And may their first child be a masculine child." :) Well done young fella - if you derive half as much simple enjoyment and pride as I have from my four you will be thrice blessed. And do not attempt assembly of a metal swing set down there in Canberra in April - I near left three frost-bitten fingers behind in Duffy in '78, for son and heir's 3rd birthday present. Mind you, later on you'll experience redundancy. They'll grant you the head of the table, where you will learn to enjoy dining alone. :) Daughter No 2 (and family enforcer, a female Luca Brasi) a couple of months back at my dinner table, with her brother and sisters and four spouses, were characteristically talking way too fast for me. Son in law (her husband) says "Mick, you look concerned? ..." "Well" says Mick "What (name) said about Excel - I have a solution to that." He giggles his head off that I cannot get to speak, she splutters "Daaaaad! That was 15 minutes back! Do try to keep up. Aaaargh!" Still didn't get to speak, but she rang for it during the next week (if anyone else tried that on me she'd carry out the honour killing contract personally!)

Not sure if it's a tradition in Australia, but in NZ the winning cox gets thrown into the water post medal ceremony which puts a damper on the post-race celebrations! It's all fine in the relative warm climes of the North Island, quite refreshing really, but then you get to Lake Ruataniwha in Twizel which is 700m above sea level, in the MacKenzie Basin, and fed from the southern alps snowmelt....rather chilly! I ended up being too big to fit in the coxswains seat so became a bowman instead. A bowman's main job appears to stop the rest of the crew getting wet by getting in the way of most of the bigger waves that the boat might run into. May as well have taken up swimming instead...

I don't like coxswains. They remind me of half backs - always barking instructions at exhausted big blokes. After which they comb their hair and hang around with the other backs, bathing in the reflected glory of the big blokes' efforts ensuring the win, to pick up all the chicks. :)

I have 4 boys 9, 7, 5 and 3. I still play soccer at 39 and love it. My oldest boys play soccer and cricket. They try hard but are not very talented and that is ok with me. My 7 year old said last week that he was not going to play soccer next year and I must admit a tinge of disappointment. On the weekend I saw him on a climbing wall and he was engaged, excited, analysing, strategising. This is just another reminder that they are all individuals and we should encourage them to find their passions and to support them. He is excited to be going to Milo cricket this Friday arvo with his dad (and so am I).

Congrats Garth I have a two year old daughter and another child due in 5 weeks. The two years old's favourite sport at the moment is trying to bite daddy's nose during nappy changes. Keep an eye out (or a nose held back) for that phase. Ben

Having recently become a father, this topic is close to my heart... I intend to follow the approach my parents did - support what the kids want to get in, encourage them to experience the outdoors in general, and enjoy being fit. My father was an avid swimmer and sailor, and my mother was a triathlete and hiker. Their only requirement of me for sport was to commit for a minimum of a season. If I didn't like it after that year, I could try something else - which worked really well; in middle school I became a coxswain for a rowing four, and followed that through school to the national level. At no stage did they pressure me to achieve anything; their engagement with sport very much reflects Spiro's comments above. You get back what you put in. Neither ever achieved the lofty heights of sporting success, but they enjoyed the challenge of training and racing, and isn't that right at the crux of sport?

Great topic indeed, Garth. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading through all the responses, too, and it's obvious that everyone is of the opinion that sport can play a big role in our kids development. This is something I very much look forward to tackling this time next year, because Roarers, I'm very proud to tell you all that my wife and I are expecting our first child next Feb. If our little girl can learn life's lessons through sport like all your kids have, then I'll be a proud and happy man..

Yeh, Great topic Garth. As Vinay says it is a priviledge to have kids and having this responibiiity will teach you so much. Playing sport with their friends is one of the best experience a girl can have. But I'd say that playing sport has been absolutely crucial for my relationship with my daughter too. She isn't an elite athletic kid at all (I blame her mother for that) and she did swimming and some netball, and touch footy as a little girl. But when she was about 8 she said she wanted to try basketball. I was a bit wary as that's my game (she used to watch me play I guess) and I knew I would inevitably be recruited to coach and I didn't know how that would play out between us. I was happy for her to stick to netball honestly. She wasn't good enough to get on a team at first but she talked her mother into taking her to all these basketball learn to play courses for 6 months until she was good enough. And then when she did find a team of course they needed a coach. I tell you there were a few rocky Saturday mornings after that, and some tears, it's almost impossible not set the bar higher for your own kid than the others. But we got through it (State Championships and stuff and a wife saying does everything have to be basketball basketball on the weekends) and I think we gained a lot of respect for each other. It has made us very close. Here in the US as she gets older I can sit back and watch (the HS coaches don't need you around} and as she branches out into other things like water polo. But those early years where I pushed her to be more daring and confident and take more responsibility were crucial to her I believe and I think we really got to understand each other. So don't be scared, and you'll learn a lot about yourself too. And if you have high expectations of them in other areas of their life I think it's OK to be demanding and push them in sport too.

"keep them away from drugs" With four, Vinay, mostly 30 plus now, I consider myself blessed that I ducked that particular bouncer! That has been the grandest good fortune.

Thanks Garth for a thoughtful and timely piece (for me). My daughter is 2 and son due in 3 months thus I've been pondering these exact issues lately and appreciate yours and the other posters feedback. My two fondest sporting related memories from childhood was the day that my dad, brother and I all caught the same wave on surfboards and rode it together - certainly my 'rosebud' moment (Citizen Kane) that still brings a smile to my face. The other was Dad watching my many rugby games quietly on the sideline and always being there. I will certainly strive to follow his example with my brood and let the young ones make their own choices - but once they've cracked a wave or two they will be hooked! I agree with Mick and others - as an ex-Defence recruiter I can say that a key attribute sought from candidates (other than motivation and trainability) was their exposure to team sports because generally that gave them good group fit, leadership exposure and an idea of how well they worked in teams. Because of this I believe it is essential for all kids to play at least one team sport.

Great topic Garth. Having been through this four times I certainly don't have all the answers, maybe a few observations. We've done gymnastics, softball, netball, touch, tennis etc. I'm happy for them to play anything, feeling that it gives fitness, team ethics, self esteem and skills plus keeps 'em off the street and off the computer. Gymnastics is a great grounding but nearly everyone gives up by the time they're 10 or 12 because they reach their limits. Softball can be dominated by one or two players and a player can get very little involvement. Netball is the ultimate team sport because once a player has the ball, they must stop, and are totally reliant on their team mates to get into space and receive a pass. Also players are restricted to certain areas, therefore several players are required to get the ball from end to end. Also, in AFL areas, netball is played in parallel with footy, which adds to the attraction for participants. Touch, for me, is a fun, casual thing. I can't come to grips with the fact that they have rep teams and even a national team. Tennis is my favourite because it can be played all of life, can be social or competitive, can be mixed sex (very important for teenagers) and every player gets plenty of involvement. And, it is easy for parents to play with/against their children. You'll find that for much of the time your daughter will want you at a safe non-embarrassing distance. You are in for a fun journey. Watching your child with a bunch of friends, with parents you get on with, is a joy. Remember, sport is played for fun. It is only the top .ooooo% that make a living out of it.

Lovely article Garth, and felt your pride reading your comment Vinay. Thank you.

garth,the biggest gift a man can get is a daughter. The biggest gift you can give her is time.Don't worry about the being wrapped around her little finger..that is a joy initself. The joy of giving judiciously. Know who her friends are. Give her a mobile at an early age and always insist on knowing where she is. I have a daughter who is now 23 and she played rep cricket while in school. she came to me one day after a game of grade and said "thats it, I have nothing in common with my teammates" She was 14 and they were in the twenties and thirties.It was not sport anymore. She still loves her cricket and her netball but in a "passive" way. Sport has taught her about fitness and the extremes to which you can push your body. I have thrilled to her swooping at cover and running a batsman out. I have burst with pride at a hook shot she played off her eyebrows. She had asked if she could take her helmet off the ball previous. I was the coach and would not have allowed that to any other girl. But my girl wanted to make a statement. I made sure she put the helmet on the next ball. That was both a careless and a defining moment for me. And this is the most important bit..if you can raise your children and keep them away from drugs that is the biggest job you will ever do. I wish you luck,Garth,and make every day special.

My daughter is nearly 5 and I just play ball games with her - throwing and catching and kicking just because these are good skills to have generally to allow her to participate in fun activities with other kids and with adults. Plus we have fun tackling Dad in the backyard. At her daycare they have a very well organised group come in called 'Ginger Sport' (this is in Brisbane) who do soccer skills in a fun way and this has been good for her to develop kicking and catching skills. I think all kids should be encouraged to develop coordination etc through just playing with throwing and catching balls and then down the track if they develop a particular interest in a sport then good for them. I am keen on my kids playing team sports for all the benefits that it provides but don't have any delusions about how good they will be at it (based on my lack of talent generally), just as long as they have fun.

Team sport, Garth, any team sport. Until she's mid teens winning is incidental. Be involved, to the extent of running the oranges or being an amateur zambuck. Watch from the other side of the field to the bogans - always do that. Always. Watch quietly - the children can't hear or process what's yelled out from the sidelines in any event, all they hear is a jumble of belligerence that confuses - and enjoy the tiny triumphs. She'll find her level and her sport when she's ready. Do your job of making junior sport and competition a pleasant memory and she'll appreciate you most for that, more than for the goals scored, premierships or rep honours. In the too funny department - Daughter No 1 (who grew up playing in the dust under the stand at TG Milner) rang this week apologising(!) that No 1 grandson at 8 years is showing serious interest in playing AFL rather than solving Australia's front row problems in 2020. I reminded her that the three things I looked at first in a job applicant's résumé were which Catholic College? :) , whether they played team sport (didn't matter which) and what they did with their time outside their professional work. What I see of how the AFL is promoting the game in Western Sydney and seducing disciples impresses me mightily. They already have the mini games, drills and such going into the schools, as far out as Wentworth Falls! I recall Matt Burke's earliest job out of school was at the Magnificent Woodies in "schools development" - he was so proud of the car in his package! There was one other bloke with him. If only the ARU in the 20 years since had shown the vision, determination and network to do as well as the AFL has done in just a year and a half.

I also agree with Spiro. The challenge will come when you're daughter reaches puberty, or perhaps just before that, when the pressures that are piled upon young women begin to make themselves felt. This is the time when many girls drop out of sport, for this there are various reasons, but it remains a fact that young women are less likely to continue with sport that young men. This is what happened with me. I do wish we had more sportswomen for our young girls to look up to. I mean, sure, they exist, but the media attention they gain is minuscule compared to the men. This isn't the only issue when it comes to encouraging more women to participate in sport, but it is certainly one contributing factor. Let's see more sportswomen in the news. More positive stories. I am rather tied of hearing about the transgressions of male footballers. Yeah, Sam, I agree, the current cult of celebrity sucks. Sport should be a lifelong pursuit. It should NOT about being the best, it should be about enjoyment and fitness and as another form of socialising. There are so many different sports that there is something for everyone. the old adage is true, it isn't whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. It's time we started to remember that.

Agree with Spiro's comments. The only other point I'd add is trying not to project your own bias and opinions on sporting teams and individuals to your children. Let them make up their own minds about what sporting teams to follow and support. In these formative years they'll change allegiances as quickly as they change what food they like to eat. Being a parent is a verb and not a noun so be assured that her sponge like mind will absorb everything she sees you do and say, so her perspective on life will be formed more by how she observes her parents interact with herself and others than the cult of celebrity in sport, music, tv and film.

Just let the daughter grow up and play what she enjoys playing, if this is what she is going to enjoy. Talented kids have a way of finding out where their talent is best expressed. It's good, though, to help kids into sport. As a former teacher I know that sport teaches kids a lesson that is often transferred to their life and other studies, namely that you get back what you put in.

The most extreme answer to the title question can be found in an SMH article a few months ago. The focus was on soccer/football fathers training their young sons many many times a week in order to get them to the professional leagues. It came with a terrifying quote from one father who said that he thought he would have 'made it' had he had the proper coaching and he is determined his son will have that chance. Maniacs. Sure some of the children, even the vast majority, enjoy what they are doing but what happens when they stop? Of course this isn't isolated to soccer/football but all sports. Scary stuff