New Zealand referee Steve Walsh. AP Photo/Mark Baker
Rugby union is my son, but it’s getting harder and harder to defend him; indeed, it’s difficult to still love him at all. Sometimes I imagine a dinner party where the parents of all the major Australian sports are in attendance.
Maybe tonight’s dinner is being held at the parents of AFL – we can hear him stomping around upstairs. Though hugely successful, the boy flatly refuses to leave home.
There’s Cricket’s Mum and Dad – the quiet, stressed couple who sit nervously at the end of the table, the mother clutching her husband’s hand as if her son is perpetually on 99 not out.
The statuesque single-mother of Netball arrives next, pulling up in a silver Audi and handing over an expensive bottle of red wine. To avoid an incident, she sits well away from League’s dad, who is already on his fifth beer.
Football’s father arrives late on the scene, and immediately starts talking about relatives overseas.
Like dinner parties everywhere, the conversation eases into the topic of our beloved children – their progress and their problems.
There’s the obvious difficulty with young AFL (“I can hear you!” comes the muffled cry from the next room).
He’s very popular and intelligent, but so unsure of himself, says his father. Apart from a stint in Ireland, where he kept getting into fights, he refuses to leave the comforts of home.
We enquire about Netball. Her stunning mother tells us she’s a chip off the old block. Plenty of friends, beautiful, well organised – a bright future. Everyone at the table has a nervous feeling that by the time young Netball matures, every one of us will be working for her.
Politely, the conversation turns to Cricket. His parents are mumblers, and it’s difficult to know how he is doing.
Cricket is very quiet, disappearing for months at a time, only to turn up every so often and win a Nobel Prize, or something. His constant success makes the conversation almost boring.
The father of Football is next to report. He is doing fairly well, all things considered. There was a rough patch a while back, but he seems to be coming through it. Nobody says anything, but we are all thinking the same thing – the name will be enough to ensure young Football is successful.
The Football family is an old, prestigious one – the kid simply won’t be allowed to fail.
A loud burp from the other side of the table makes Cricket’s mother jump in her seat.
Sighing, we all turn towards Mr League. “Oh, League’s bloody great!” declares Dad. “Heaps of mates. About to come into some TV money, too!”
“Didn’t he get arrested recently?” asks Netball’s mother, icily.
“Nah, nah, that was a media beat-up. Bloody Twitter, or some crap.” he yells. “Besides,” he says, pointing at me. “Old Union here is probably a flamin’ lawyer, aye?”
The table falls silent. I shift uncomfortably and poke at my tofu salad.
Netball’s mother breaks the tension, God bless her. “And how is Rugby?” she asks.
I explain to them that Rugby is not sure what he really wants to do with his life. He’s on his fourth Uni degree – Art History, or Philosophy or something. His friends are getting sick of the constant changes and none of them seem to be working for him.
“The kid needs to toughen up!” snorts League’s dad. Mr Cricket mumbles something about a World Cup, causing Football’s father to chortle.
“It’s not all his fault”, I plead. “He’s fallen in with a bad crowd. It’s those referees.”
Those damned referees.
I find it difficult to imagine that Super Rugby rugby union referees are not mandated in what they look for during games. Even at local levels, referees are told to focus on particular rules during a season, and pass these instructions to players throughout the year.
They are a professional organisation and internally review the performances of their officials. If referees do operate on a mandate, then they are getting it seriously wrong.
Rugby is being suffocated by pedantic whistle-blowing that sometimes beggars belief. In the early days of this new Super Rugby season, we have seen players regain their feet without a hand on them only to be declared “tackled”, scrum re-feeds when the ball is out, and a game-losing penalty awarded for little more than a shove.
An infringement penalised in one ruck will be ignored at the next. In the match between the Brumbies and Crusaders this weekend, Sonny Bill Williams was called for obstruction when no actual player was interfered with.
The defenders met the ball carrier with little drama, but the referee deemed Sonny Bill’s considerable shoulders were too close to the action, and awarded the Brumbies a penalty.
Referees should take no pride in highlighting rugby union’s fine-print. They should blow the whistle with reluctance, not with glee.
They should let my son spread his wings, and go back to the continuous, flowing game he was meant to be. Because his therapy bills are bleeding me dry.
In any case, Football’s dad and I slide League’s unconscious father into a taxi and pin his address to his shirt.
As I turn to leave, I glance up at the house and see the curtains move upstairs. Young AFL is staring at me through the window, his eyes darting left and right as he wills me off his front lawn.
KickIt2Duck
Roar Rookie
and little Tommy, the AFL son, still has troubles travelling over the border into NSW, having to provide documentation from his parents as proof of his birthdate and nationality. Apparently the Union household suspect Tommy AFL to be an illegitimate child of their lineage, but, so too does Johnny Soccer claim him as descended from his line........ ah, the family court would have a field day.
Kovana
Guest
Basing this on Ratings and Crowds for Aussie only? Please remember that Rugby is not only played in Australia. Have you checked out the TV ratings for the 6N and HC? Also the crowds for rugby in Georgia ,Spain and of course the 6N crowds? By the way.. The Australian Crowds and Ratings for Super Rugby are up when compared to last year.
Chuq
Roar Pro
Observation: you refer to "footballs father" but no reference to a mother, odd seeing as football is one of the biggest women's sports? Apart from that, well done!
stillmissit
Roar Guru
Now Lyndon Bray was a ref I had some time for. Thanks for the link Warren looking forward to reading it.
Wingersliketowatch
Guest
Seems a few folk up above got lost in the joke. The article is about rugby and rugby refs ruining the game. Refereeing is ruining rugby. Scrum and ruck penalties have to be simplified. I saw the whole Crusaders front row duck under the Brumbies on their way to a dive into the turf and then receive a penalty! Maybe the Brumbies were doing something else much worse and that was what the penalty was for. If they were I didn't see it. In any event it could have been both sides in the wrong for various infringements. But one side, (the losing, about to be obliterated side) copped the penalty. We no longer have neutral refs for Super 15. We have selection on 'merit'. "MERIT?"
Ifsit
Guest
Yeah one had 201,000 plus fans on the weekend and massive ratings on TV. Union didn't. Expand? Union is contracting fast.
Ifsit
Guest
Matt S's first comment makes the article look like the bigoted piece of trash it is. The Roar seems to attract writers with the IQ of a cupcake.
mickh
Guest
No that is how the game is marketed here. It was always called Aussie Rules when I was growing up until the game went national.
pepper
Roar Rookie
Great read again Liam. The sad thing is......................you are so right. I am so often bitterly dissappointed by the fact that my favourite "code" (and I have a great love of ALL the others, including Little miss Netball!) is completely ruined each week in its most public forum. Ruined each week by pedantic ego-maniacs who love the sound of their own whistle. No doubt they meet secretly somewhere on a Sturday night, giggling over a shandy, at how long they kept 4 x 130kg props crouched, or how they gave a penalty against the attacking side in the last 30 sec to spoil the underdog, or (as i witnessed on weekend) gave a penalty against the Wallabies most experienced forward who leapt for kick off with assistance from his props but was penalised for obstruction. My advice to Rugby Dad is send his Son back to regional centres or Sydney or Brisbane where REAL rugby is still played. While he is there he needs to re-find his roots, run around more, smile more, talk more, pass more (Go the Hawks!) and crouch less. Refs here still have a certain aura, like they wished they were invited to the Shandy parties, but without the publicity of Super Rugby, they tend to keep there ego's squashed into their skinny littlke calves. Keep up the good work Liam. And don't be so harsh on League Dad, he has so much money, he never had to try very hard and he doesn't understand that whilst his boy is really good to watch, we are getting really bored with his attitude.
warrenj
Roar Rookie
A good read and totally accurate with your criticism of the ref's. I liken it to the recent article around on the rugby websites. Here's one: http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/super-rugby/4763648/Lyndon-Bray-blows-whistle-on-Super-referees
sixo_clock
Roar Guru
Top bit of writing Liam. Very close to the mark. Brings to mind the S14 final last year where Joubert both planned to and did leave his whistle in his pocket and let the boys get on with it for at least the first 10 minutes. 'Twas all the better spectacle for his efforts. Just imagine a change to the knock-on law where the ball has to travel at least one length of the ball to be a knock-on. No substantial gain was made so why stop the game? Or instead of a penalty the offender(s) are sent for a lap (or two) of the paddock rather than the sin bin. Offsides with no contact nor pressure could be ignored etc etc. Rugby is at a crossroads where there are two conflicting forces. One is the tradition of training young men to be able to operate accurately, even clinically when under pressure from the opposition or from exhaustion and pain. The other is the public and media pressure to provide an exciting spectacle of fast running and glorious tries. I am for the former but we could achieve both by trimming down the Laws and thereby eliminating the Refs ability to influence the outcome. However one must always be mindful that good Rugby is an exhausting effort and the boys need a 'blow' especially as we are a game for all shapes and sizes. Particularly for the pack as non-stop play will knock them out of the game. Then we will end up like League where they are all roughly the same size. If you watch the speech by the CEO(?) of the Rebels major sponsor at the launch you will get a insight into why Union will always attract corporate sponsorship and why our future is not under threat. Even in Oz where we uniquely throughout the world have four football codes Rugby is here to stay. It takes brains to understand good Rugby and most people in this forum are in that category.
NF
Guest
Credibility who needs it here on the Roar anyway we're all anonymous so it mean nothing to me anyway.
Working Class Rugger
Guest
'I think of Union as the upper class snobby kid who expects everything in the world but doesn’t get it because they don’t get it.' Considering the games expansion internationally and the work that has gone into that expansion your stereotypical nonesense is a little outdated isn't it. This whole elitist rubbish stems from where the majority of the talent develops. Here's some interesting news. There are only a handful of schools where most of the schoolboy (and future NRL talent in NSW at least) are educated. Not all are private schools but a healthy percentage are. As for those who attend the likes of the GPS and CAS (lesser extent ISA) for Rugby,well, most of them are imported from outside of the supposed snobby upper class. Many are country boys and those from other parts of Sydney.
PeterK
Roar Guru
easy to rationalise and justify your own faults, then dont criticise others, you have no credibility whatsoever.
NF
Guest
Well considering what i said about Union I don't really care considering the name-calling,insults and pettiness still exist between the two-codes supporters. I'm just portraying Union in a different light just like other supporters portray other codes in a different light. So what I contradicted myself once everyone would do that every now and again.
Matt S
Guest
Well, 201,000 attend the first round of the NRL. Smashing the record of 185,000! We're punch drunk at least.
PeterK
Roar Guru
how ironic, and this from the person who supposedly hates stereotypes and thinks they are pathetic, that makes you pathetic does it not?
NF
Guest
I think of Union as the upper class snobby kid who expects everything in the world but doesn't get it because they don't get it. Why I mean is that Union fans,admin,etc expect everyone to fall in love with Union since it's the international game not the 'bogan' game as this article is implying and if you don't like Union and prefer league you're a 'mungo' or bogan no matter what your actual income and lifestyle is and this point is proving by the likes of JF & Rugbywits for proving this point by generalizing. I think this article forgot to mention that the Union 'father' is anishly waiting for the League 'father' to perish once and for all so that one true 'real rugby' remains in Australia and he be the happiest person in Australia.
Redb
Roar Guru
Hey, I saw what you did there. ;) Nice article mate.
JF
Guest
Oh come on Matt S, enough with the 'poor old Rugby League' bull. One only has to watch the Footy Show, read the Tele or Rugby League Week to get a pretty good idea of who Rugby League fans are. There is nothing wrong with stereotyping RL - they have brought every bit on themselves. Just look at prominent RL personalities on TV - Geyer, Tallis, Sailor, Fittler; these are the people that RL choose to represent the sport in public! RL have built their own reputation, don't blame everyone else for the way the sport is portrayed in society.