All Blacks Brad Thorn, right and John Afoa, left, react. AP Photo/Peter Morrison
That scandalous headline got your attention, didn’t it? Just like it got mine driving home at 5kmph in Auckland’s peak-hour traffic last night.
It’s the view of seasoned commentator Willie Losé in discussion with Larry Williams on Newstalk ZB.
I glanced across at the driver of the vehicle beside me. “Did you hear that?” I yelled with my eyes. She was none the wiser. Nor was my seven-year-old son looking bemused in the passenger seat.
What they fail to understand is that bagging Brad is a no-go zone. He’s a bonafide super hero. The man of steel. Not as fast as a speeding bullet but definitely as powerful as a locomotive.
“Crack him Larry,” I plead with a vengeance. But no such retort. No accountability. The offense left hanging in the breeze like a Pom in a black jersey.
Under normal circumstances I’m a big fan of Willie’s commentary – informed and insightful. But not this time. A shockingly reckless statement from the former Tongan international.
Brad might have signed to play in Japan after this year’s World Cup, but the pinnacle tournament is by no means beyond him.
Willie neglects the fact that the iconic lock anchored Canterbury’s scrum through a remarkable Super Rugby season spent entirely on the road.
He led the charge right to the finish line while Canterbury’s stars fell injured around him. He led while captain Richie McCaw and general Dan Carter watched mostly from the sidelines, with the rest of us.
So now Brad’s recharging those massive batteries for one last campaign. And you can rest assured that every residue of experience and energy in that expansive reservoir of his will be spent getting the job done.
There’s a tangible and intangible security that comes with Brad at the centre of the All Blacks pack – especially when backs are against the wall. No lock in the country brings anything near what Brad Thorn brings to the RWC table.
No. You got that call wrong Willie – way wrong.
So now the onus is on you to convince the vast majority of New Zealand’s rugby public, and Graham Henry, you got it right.
Finally, some one-liners from a Facebook Page titled “Brad Thorn is a tough bastard”:
• Brad Thorn was busting for a piss and there was no toilet nearby so he peed into a truck fuel tank. That truck then turned into Optimus Prime.
• Superman actually has two weaknesses: Kryptonite and Brad Thorn.
• Brad Thorn is so tough when he wants to eat a salad he eats a vegetarian.
• You must say “Brad Thorn” when you name him. . . or Brad Thorn will find you.
It has 3333 members, including me, of course.
Collin Lubawy
Guest
I understand I constantly retain arriving back again to your weblog site. Wonderful written content. A lot of many thanks for submitting.
dtw
Guest
As a wallaby fan you are, unfortunately, spot on! Legend.
vaguely
Roar Pro
Unbeaten at a Football World Cup. That's better than we could do. If you don't think it deserves praise you obviously don't understand how tough that Cup is.
vaguely
Roar Pro
Speaking of rubbish box kicks from a number 9, Weepu....
Timnaik
Guest
B rad Thorn is so tough he keeps a pillow under his gun. Brad Thorn is so tough he can swing a revolving door shut. Brad Thorn is so tough that when he pours milk on his rice bubbles Snap, Crackle and Pop shut the f*$k up!
MR01
Guest
Hmmm..Spencer, have you forgotten a certain try saving tackle against the French just last year. He sprinted from the ruck by the 1/2 way line on the opposite side of the field & smashed the french player just a few metres short of a certain try. No other AB forward was within 20m. I had to rewind it twice to work out where the heck he'd come from. We're going to miss him when he retires.
sheek
Guest
Brad Thorn past his use-by date????? Quite possibly, but you know what? I bet Brad Thorn neither knows nor cares. And neither do Henry nor his team mates.....
Will
Guest
We smacked the boks last night and slade is the goods... Yes Genia scored a good try in the super rugby final but do you think those gaps are there at the world cup? His box kicking is rubbish. Also you can have quade, we tried a world cup with a w@anker like that, looking forward to the intercept pass.
ohtani's jacket
Guest
Ali was much better this week and earns a respite.
vaguely
Roar Pro
Slade does the job. Unfortunately...
Ben S
Roar Guru
None of these players play like Thorn - maybe only Hoeata. Seems like there's a real shortage of front jumpers.
Lorry
Guest
actually, sadly Blinky, the Brad Thorn's 'team first' attitude is probably a sign of a real 'amateur'!!! Don't you think? Witness Sonny Bill's, Quade's, and O'Connor's shameless self-promotion, love for league professed ad nauseum (by the latter 2) and 'my brand' first attitude - can't help feeling that this is the sign of a 'Real Pro' haha. The exact antithesis of that attitude, running around at club level today for Uni - for the love of the game - the great Phil Waugh!!! Obviously Im not saying we should go back to amateur days, but surely a little humility from some of today's 'branders' would go a long way.......
Dave
Guest
I recall him playing quite well in the 2007 RWC after recovering from the broken jaw. One of NZ's best at the time.
Gavin Fernie
Guest
I had a good laugh at the tongue in cheek reference to any criticism of Brad Thorn being equivalent to heresy during the reign of the infamous Spanish Inquisition. It is heresy to criticize the Big Man. Like the one and only Pinetree, there are bigger men playing top rugby; that is, they might be taller and carry more bulk, but in terms of inner core strength, heart, fire and mongrel on the rugby field, there is nobody to touch Thorn. Like Meads, he has had his moments of mental aberration on the rugby field. Meads tried to dismember Kenny Catchpole. Thorn tried to split John Smit's body in two. Neither could claim to be top class lineout forwards, but did not let the team down in that area of play. Both were adept lineout 'robbers.' That was the extent of their weaknesses. Both had a presence on the field, and an influence in their teams, that transcended that of the average top class lock. Thorn and Meads would both be the first names on the team sheet. No argument. The All Black pack revolves around men like Thorn and Meads. Both epitomize the essentials of an international lock. Willie John McBride had it. Again, not the biggest lock in the game in his era, but a man all respected. So, Thorn will be the benchmark for controlled mongrel and fire in the belly lock play in his last big season before enchanting the Japanese on and off the field.
jeznez
Roar Guru
Jerry I like that comparison!
ohtani's jacket
Guest
Ali Williams was one of the All Blacks best players in 2008 and played in every test if I recall correctly. He was probably the third most important player in the side behind Carter and McCaw and that was a difficult year for the All Blacks.
Jerry
Guest
Owned? Chabal did nothing more than run the ball back reasonably hard while in possession of a cranium. Williams got injured and the next time they played, he was one of the best players on the pitch. I think you're giving that that incident a lot more credit than it warrants. But then, the phrase 'more credit than it warrants' pretty much sums up Chabal's entire career since he grew a beard.
Gumboot
Roar Rookie
You're right regarding hooker, I prefer Hore to Flyn though for back-up to Mealamu. Flyn's lineouts were way off, his general play is OK but I prefer Hore. Slade needs game time like Ali Williams for confidence, I thought Slade played well last game.
warrenexpatinnz
Roar Guru
Head clash or not Williams was owned by Chabal after that hit. The two years out after 3? achillies ruptures has also dulled the big mans light but for me the likes of Boric, Whitelock have passed him and Williams could be then placed into the same group as Vickerman, shows enough but really are they up to the mark?
warrenexpatinnz
Roar Guru
Ouch! Martin Johnson was a very good player, we both agree there but I seriously do believe that Sharpe has this tournament in him and for him to excel. Yes I may have some Western Force clothing hanging in my closet but Sharpe, on his game is a great leader and will give everything.