It did not come to me in a form of a dream. It manufactured out of pure Saffa arrogance. Last year I predicted England would win The World Cup.
Perhaps I mistook them for another team wearing black, but this time I took matters into my own hands. This time I went and sought out a Sangoma.
I took my signed by James Smal 1995 Springbok replica jersey with me as my voodoo relic. I carefully listened and did what was asked of me by the Amakosi. I sang, danced and repeated Xhosa words I did not quite understood.
He shacked, blew and threw the bones. And as faith would have it, there was a Bok horn which fell solitary, away from the other bones and pieces of charms.
The Sangoma interpreted to me what I already knew – South Africa will win the Rugby Championship.
Henceforth, I can’t be accused of black magic, as I only needed the conformation of a Springbok win.
Jarpienism, but there can be no denying that our time has come once more to dominate world rugby. Can you say spoiler’s alert.
Match day #1
Pardon my Spanish but, Estos gatos no tienen garras. I predict the Boks will tango to a convincing win in front of a very hostile Newlands crowd. Don’t expect too much flashy backline moves from both teams, as I also predict it will rain.
Final scores: SA 39-12 ARG, AUS 21-18 NZ
Match day #2
The Boks will be focused and will not enjoy Mendoza’s beautiful scenery, nice food and delicious wine too much. Las Pampas is a different animal at home, but still the Boks should be too strong with no flashy backline moves. Side note – Morne Steyn breaks his leg and is out for 100 years.
Final scores: ARG 17-23 SA, NZ 45-19 AUS
Match day #3
Who makes the scheduling? How dumb is it to have South Africa play Australia in Perth. The Waltzing Madibas are going to have another field day. It will be Scotland in Newcastle all over again for Australia. Can’t blame the weather this time.
Final scores: AUS 9-17 SA, NZ 54-6 ARG
Match day #4
Lately this has not been the fierce rivalry of old. The teams may have been locked at 6-5 during Pieter De Villiers’ tenure, but as always, playing the All Blacks is the ultimate test for us Dutch folks. This will be the toughest match of the season but the best team will eventually win on the day.
Final scores: NZ 10-12 SA, AUS 24-11 ARG
Match day #5
Rocky Elsom’s pre-match comments about destroying the Boks at Loftus are more ridiculous than Victor Matfield’s claims that the Irish players could speak Afrikaans. But surprisingly, amidst all the vocal fans and humility, the Wallabies will actually make a game out of this. Leading the entire game, save for a last minute Springbok move. Wallaby defense coaches take note: Hougaard feed the scrum on the right side within 15 meters of the Wallabies 22. Scrum remains steady and ball is retained. As a flush of wind source, he swings a flat pass to an oncoming Elton Jantjies. Elton looks to chip kick over the Wallaby centers towards the far left wing, perhaps to Habana. But instead, he appears to have shaved the ball with the inside of his right boot. The ball grubbers along, past Wallaby the scrum and seemly into no man’s land. Moment’s later the crowd rose with a thundering roar as Mvovo claims the ball, to score in the corner. Elton jumps for joy and yells out; “Carlos taught me that!”
Final scores: SA 45- 40 AUS, ARG 11-33 NZ
Match day #6
And as if the previews weekend wasn’t tough enough. We now sit with an unnecessary match. Our Championship is already in the bag, so the only thing to play for now is World domination. It start’s with two heartfelt anthems. Followed by the Haka, which is being drummed out by an unplugged microphone and the “ole ole ole” chants of the crowd. Finally kick off commence and 80 minutes later the Springboks show why they are the Mecca of Rugbyism.
Final scores: SA 25-20 NZ, ARG 21-29 AUS
These are the predictions I chose to postue on to my Australasian and Argentine peers. Beware of a Springbok blitzkrieg, and although my supple warnings may be dictated as arrogance, I will still offer you my humble condolences.
I agree that we will have more intensity, better execution, and have more hunger. There is no doubt about the fact the guys will be better coached and there perform better. My only concern is all the injuries, some of the selections and gameplan evolution.
I assume you are a Bulls supporter, hence you get defensive and read the content the way it suits you. No, I never said Meyer will only select Bulls players, I suggested he GOES FOR THE FAMILIAR, and that is my concern. Go read my article again, I mention the players I have issues with and why Meyer is selecting them. This has nothing to do with players I like, I have never met anyone of them and cannot tell you who I would invite for a braai. I look at players I rate. But let me turn the question around for you. Who do you believe is the best flyhalves in SA and why? Do you think our gameplan needs to be less predictable or not?
IvanN
Roar Guru
Say what you want, The Chiefs won the S15, and the Crusaders were also top class - compared to a combined Sharks, Stormers and Bulls - I am seeing the Boks pull this one out the hat. Australia wont contest this RC, just as they were never really in the S15. They will put on a few good halves, but never end on the right side of the scoreline against SA or NZ.
IvanN
Roar Guru
Clearly you missed the joke. Gaan sit in die hoek (go sit in the corner)
Geez mate, you are a bit confident there. 5 backrowers injured plus Pietersen and we have Morne Steyn at 10.
IvanN
Roar Guru
what did it say ?
IvanN
Roar Guru
Wallabies wont be running the boks ragged mate, That ship has sailed - Its called the Drommedaris and its what brought Jan van Riebeek to the cape. Wallabies are going to be beaten by NZ,SA and just scrape it against Arg. I dont need a Sangoma for that prediction.... Im from the future.
Loftus
Guest
But according to you Meyer won't select Goosen, because he's not a Bull. So it wouldn't matter if Goosen is fit in a couple of weeks' time. Isn't that what you are implying with all your posts about Meyer and his Bulls mates? Do you think Meyer should only pick the players you like or should he get a chance to build his own team? Just a question...
Loftus
Guest
Well, actually the Boks beat England 2 - 0 if I remember correctly, let's get real.
mania
Guest
biltongbek - if ... "every player plays strictly to a gameplan and individual moments of brilliance can only make the rest of your team look foolish" were true then it would be a sad sad day for rugby. i know u dont believe this and i doubt its a creed that meyer follows. what your describing is american football the way americans play it. this will never be allowed to happen. as a side note i played american football in NZ. when i started my team had a coach. the coach was american and didnt understand the NZ rugby psyche, ie he tried to control every minute of the game. before the 2nd game of our season the seniors in the team voted him out and we carried on the season without a coach and the entire team helped out with coaching. we went on to play 2 and a half seasons undefeated and won 5 championship finals in a row. try as any coach might theres an unwritten rule in NZ. cometh game time its up to the players.
mania
Guest
suzy & biltongbek -your both wrong. boks will be fighting for 1st place vs the AB's i reckon. boks will be better than aus. in the boks i feel there is a revolution happening and i think that its going to happen despite meyer. there's a belief in this bok side that i saw in the 1st 2 tests and its an energy that cant be denied. theres no puppet coach or player power involved and if meyer doesnt embrace the way the players want to play then i imagine they're gonna do it anyway. big call but u heard it here 1st
Kuruki
Roar Guru
He is not value for money anymore.
I've been having this unending debate wiith a few South Africans at home that keep on telling me I live in a dream world and are foolish to beleive that individual skills, talent, vision and instinct is still part of the game. They believe that every player plays strictly to a gameplan and individual moments of brilliance can only make the rest of your team look foolish. And get this, they beleive the New Zealanders and Australians do the same thing. It seems rugby has now become chess, and if the coach says kick for territory then you kick, even if it is 5 minutes before the end and you are 7 points down. No place for vision in a team. If Meyer beleives that, then we are truly on the road to nowhere
Suzy Poison
Guest
HA HA....It's no use being optimistic this year, we are stuffed with Morne, let’s be realistic. I think this year will be a write off. When Goosen returns from injury, possibly for the European tour, we might start to actually play some real rugby.
Well, that put me in the right mood for the Rugby Championship.
peterlala
Guest
Johnno, great thoughts about Argentina's inclusion...which will be a shot in the arm for the Tri Nations. You analyse the numbers, but the numbers that are the biggest to me are 1-2-3 in the world, the Tri Nations teams, in whichever order. For that reason alone, I think Argentina will struggle.
peterlala
Guest
biltongbek, I agree. Best rugby story I have read in a long time. Big thumbs up Green Lantern.
moaman
Roar Guru
Make that a Tui mate! ;-)
Suzy Poison
Guest
A good laugh Green Lantern. I like your confidence, but I reckon the Boks will be lucky to come third. We have the players, we just don’t have a coach that can rival Deans and Hansen. Heineken has made some dumb selections already. I don’t have much faith in the man anymore, after we selected his Bulls buddies, Wynard Olivier and Jacques Potgieter, against the Poms. Plus it looks like the same old kick and chase rubbish served up again. The Boks have no plan B, and if we continue with Morne Steyn we are doomed. I think the Australians will push the Kiwis this year, but the Kiwis will win again. Argentina will win one or two at home, and the poorly coached Boks might end up 4th. But I hope you prove me wrong!
Damo
Guest
Thanks for the link Moa. And very refreshing, and dare I say, heart warming, to see an executive comment sensibly on the whole Quade vs Mob issue. But there is going to be at least one bitter battle before a happy beer is shared. Winner's shout - what would you like? Cooper's or Coopers?