The nightmare you can't wake up from

By TheGreyGhost / Roar Rookie

Reminiscent of a disarming early morning episode of sleep paralysis, I’ve been stuck in a nightmare that I can’t quite wake from.

The pathophysiological response has had me clumsily crashing around my house for 24 hours.

Opening beer. Drinking. Staring into space. Barely functional. I’m hungry, but I have no appetite. I’m tired. But going back to sleep and allowing the subconscious to rehearse its macabre creation is unthinkable.

When will it end? And is this what it feels like to be a Welsh rugby fan?

The last time I remember normal life was about 2:28PM on Saturday. With national anthems dusted, Piri Weepu was kicking off another epic Haka. The English looked resigned to their spanking. Chris Robshaw looked like a man unsure whether to kick for the corner, go for the posts, or scuff a quick hole in the turf and stick his head in it.

But then I must have drifted off, and this nightmare began: The IRB’s comic relief entry for Player of the Year started kicking penalties from all angles. Dan Carter was resembling riff-raff with a slice to the left, then a hook to the ri-aye-ight and George Clancy had entered a similar time warp and taken the ruck laws back to 2004: there were English ruck-monkeys using their unsupported body positions to rip the ball away from under Aaron Smith’s nose time and time again. Unpenalised.

At one point, my delusional state became so morbid, I actually hallucinated that England had gone to the break 15-0 up.

But, and let me tell you, this freakish narcoleptic state just got worse. Wave after wave of coordinated, effective and direct English attack was crashing through the unbreakable All Black defences.

Conrad Smith, Mr 90% himself, suddenly lost composure and faith in his outside defence and let the least effective midfield in global rugby step, out-pace then out-flank him.

Then the bizarrely overlooked IRB player of the year heir-apparent Kieran Read threw a loopy intercept pass to the self-same midfield and somehow they conspired to actually score from it, with the out of form and try-less Chris Ashton even swan-diving in for a score.

Things got so surreal that my subconscious managed to construct a scenario where Dan Carter and Aaron Smith were pulled by the coach and things actually seemed to get better.

Let me tell you, fellow Roarers, it was a simply the most unthinkable mix of the macabre, surreal and tortuous I have experienced since the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

As I sit here, staring into the frosty early hours of the day, I wonder, when will I wake? When will reality resume? When will this nightmare finally end?

The Crowd Says:

2012-12-07T03:34:43+00:00

atlas

Guest


they almost do it again in 2013 - NZ play France, England a week later then Ireland (9, 16, 23 November) In 35 matches, just 12 played in NZ. 2013 will make it five in a row played at Twickenham. Last Bledisloe is 19 October then off to France (NZ play France four times in 2013). Another year of too many tests - 3 in June, 2 in August, 3in September, 2 in OCtober, 3 in November

2012-12-07T03:24:52+00:00

atlas

Guest


a note on Jarrad Hoeata - he is 29. Constant poor discipline for Taranaki in this year's ITM, and again on NZ Maori side - yellow carded on tour. he would need some considerable 'shaping up' in attitude to be reconsidered for ABs, and age may be against him too.

2012-12-06T03:19:47+00:00

stu b

Guest


England rugby know and understand and may arrange the tour itinery so they get the last shot at a weary team with one foot on the plane,this is the only opportunity of bagging a win against a very good team,in this case a good win.This situation arises to often to be a coicidence.Check the english abs record on a level playing field over a 3 test series.

2012-12-05T15:28:32+00:00

Ben.S

Roar Guru


'I’m n an Aussie… And making the point that the lions aren’t playing NZ is not arrogance, it’s logic, reason and fact.' Although I have only just noticed the single 'n'...

2012-12-05T14:14:05+00:00

TheGreyGhost

Guest


Show me the thread. I'm not Australian mate, never claimed to be.

2012-12-05T13:06:28+00:00

Ben.S

Roar Guru


Not what you said on another thread.

2012-12-05T11:02:28+00:00

jeznez

Roar Guru


Didn't catch much ITM, will keep an eye out for Bird

2012-12-05T02:28:46+00:00

Wal

Roar Guru


I think we will see Hansen introduce another 3-5 players next year again so he has contingencies for the positions you describe, A few names too put my neck out on the line very early and through up as potentials for next year and beyond are Ardie Savea (Better than Big Bro) Matt Todd TJ Perenara Robbie Fruen (if his work rate improves look out) Luke Braid Luke Whitelock Ryan Crotty (A personal favourite) Ben Tameifuna 2015 might be a little soon Dominic Bird And those who may come back if injury free or regain form or end their OS jaunt R Kahui A Boric C Slade J Hoeata (Jeznez suggested as a 6) SBW Kaino The only position I am really struggling with is Hooker although I was impressed with Coles and maybe Hika Elliot will develop in to the role like a lot of hookers do later in their careers Even if only a few of these come off still means a healthy new stock of blood without a wholesale clean out. And this then doesn't even include players who come out of the blue from one season to star eg A. Smith My Big outside calls for 2013 is Ross Filliipo to have a blinder and get back into the AB's and Ryan Crotty to shine and push Nonu for his spot

2012-12-05T01:22:26+00:00

Wal

Roar Guru


I hadn't thought of Hoeata at 6 but is certainly worth a go, Not sure if you too caught much of the ITM cup but Bird looks like a real prospect for the future 2.06m and 112kg at only 21 His only issue is going to be getting game time ahead of Sam Whitelock, Luke Romano and Tom Donnelly for the Crusaders

2012-12-04T23:27:21+00:00

TheGreyGhost

Guest


I'm not Australian...

2012-12-04T19:48:42+00:00

moaman

Roar Guru


Excellent post and very enjoyable article and thread....so good that I'm now late for work!

2012-12-04T17:51:01+00:00

Ben.S

Roar Guru


Hang on... This is an article written by an Australian? Hmmm...

2012-12-04T16:43:39+00:00

Ben.S

Roar Guru


'We saw Hore banned for preventing Bradley Davies running obstruction and Adam Thompson banned for gently reminding Strokosch not to lie all over the ball. Perhaps this reversion to referees allowing ball slowing and cynical negative play is why the rugby was largely so dross?' That is one big old straw you're clutching on to there. Big ol' straw.

2012-12-04T16:41:44+00:00

Ben.S

Roar Guru


True. Fair point, but with one season already gone Hansen faces the choice of keeping the status quo or having a big clean out. You don't really want to be making wholesale changes in season 2/3 of the WC cycle. Obviously his hand will be forced by Super form and injuries, but with McCaw gone the ABs will automatically be less of a challenge IMO. Personally I'm not sold on Retallick. I am a big fan of Cane, however. There's a lot of rugby to be played though.

2012-12-04T14:28:36+00:00

Jiggles

Roar Guru


Well I would say they are a lot fitter than Australia thats for sure, and they seemed to be the fittest team in the RC. That may well be a plan but they still have to play at a level which won't allow the opposition an even breaks, which would require burning a bit of energy. And they don't exactly shut up shop in those rest periods you describe. Also if you look at all the really good Test teams of the past 20 years, for example, they always won it in the back end of the game against competent opposition. How many times during the Eales era did the Wallabies snatch the victory at the end against the All Blacks? I highly doubt it was a tactic to leave it that late, its just the length of time it took to finally put a good opposition away.

2012-12-04T14:21:09+00:00

Jiggles

Roar Guru


Players have to start somewhere though, Ben. Thorn and Kaino weren't outstanding when they first came onto the scene. Kaino only really started to fire in 2009 to be honest. I see Vito as the longer term option, he has tightened up his play a lot and has become far more agressive. He is still only 25 and reminds me a bit of Kaino at this age. Retallick is also very young and I think he is pretty advanced in terms of rugby development for his age.

2012-12-04T14:08:45+00:00

TheGreyGhost

Guest


If you watch all the AB games this year, they start slowly. Normally the first 20 minute involves kicking deep for territory. They tended to explode in the last 10 minutes of the first half, the first ten of the second and the last 20 minutes of the match. I wondered whether this is coincidental, or whether there were planned rest periods built in that enabled them to leverage the biggest advantage from tiring opposition. Commentators relentlessly commented this year on how "The ABs are so dangerous either side of half time" and "would last the full 80". Is it fitness? or clever game management?

2012-12-04T13:39:54+00:00

Ben.S

Roar Guru


I think identifying is different to the players being viable alternatives. I still think there are serious question marks over certain players. For example, if the tight five was struggling Kaino had the physical capacity to turn the tide, whereas a player like Messam, who granted has done well this season, simply doesn't. I don't see him as a long term option at 6, nor Vito. I reckon Cane should have got more game time this tour too. Wyatt Crockett is basically your typical Super prop, and Charlie Faumuina, who I advocated bringing in earlier in the season, just looked like a fat boy on tour IMO. I'm still not sold on the Romano or Retallick either. Suddenly a pack without Woodcock, Mealamu/Hore and McCaw looks incredibly vulnerable IMO.

2012-12-04T09:48:22+00:00

TheGreyGhost

Guest


If Hansen is to wear any blame for the loss then perhaps it's in the selections. But I'd caveat that as 20/20 hindsight. Cruden had a stormer of a game last week against the Welsh. He potted his kicks, ran the territory well and was his usual ellusive self with the ball in hand. With DC wrestling with an achillies injury and the whole team struck down by Norovirus mid-week perhaps it might have been a smarter move to stick with the in form and game fit Cruden rather than throwing DC back in on reputational basis. By all means DC on the bench. Perhaps there is an element on hindsight in that thought given that Carter was clearly and uncharacteristically off song. He always looks to me like he's favouring one leg at the best of times, but he didn't seem to be moving completely comfortably. Aaron Smith lost composure. He's done it before under pressure, but hey let's cut the guy a break. He's come out of nowhere and become the encumbent AB scrum half in his first season. That's fairly awesome and admidst all the talk of the "young England" who handed us our arses, it's easy to forget how many young AB's there were out there. Smith will learn from these experiences and grow into a more composed figure. He needs to lose that anxious box-kick on turn over ball under pressure and look at the better options. Perhaps next year we can trust his experience, post Piri out to pasture and experiment with Kerr-Barlow and Perenara against the Frogs. Corey Jane was simply awesome, especially in the second half and Julean Savea is becoming a Joe Rokocoko figure with his work rate and ability to get involved. He probably needs to work on his high ball return because he is clearly being targeted. He looks to have the ability and maleability to learn new tricks, so I'm sure he'll grow into it. Perhaps it was risky putting him up against the Poms, or maybe it was his moment to Jonah Lomu them. Two very nicely worked tries - the first requiring immense effort to beat several guys in close quarters and score. No complaints on the wings. Conrad Smith and Nonu came up against the beefy England midfield and despite Smith and Nonu's clever combinations leading to a lot of second half penetration they were bested for size and power as the game opened up, with Smith uncharacteristically losing faith in his outside number to handle Tuilagi, he drifted early and let the English through. Last year Henry pitched a giant midfield to nullify this effect and perhaps we're short of Richard Kahui or SBW in midfield for such occasions, or perhaps a different defensive system to try to combat the raw size mis-matches. But it was really the forwards were the game was lost. Aside from an overthrow from Mealamu and one crooked throw the lineout was a pass mark and we certainly held our own, as well as stealing a couple from the Poms, so no complaints there. I thought the scrum was superior to the English and that we were hard done by on a few calls where the English seemed to be in trouble and Clancey pinged the ABs anyway. I've no idea when it comes to scrums so maybe I'm wrong about that. Can't help by have a lingering feeling that old GC was a bit quick to go straight arm on the ABs at the first sign of a collapse, especially that first penalty of the second half. But perhaps that's the monocular vision kicking in. Yeah, the more I think about it, it's all down to the ruck-monkeying the Poms were allowed to get away with for 78 minutes. If the RWC 2015 is called that way then we'll need to dust off our circa-2003 skills. It's been a growing trend on this tour to protect the ball-slower and illegal ruck killer and not promote open rugby. We saw Hore banned for preventing Bradley Davies running obstruction and Adam Thompson banned for gently reminding Strokosch not to lie all over the ball. Perhaps this reversion to referees allowing ball slowing and cynical negative play is why the rugby was largely so dross?

2012-12-04T09:12:16+00:00

jeznez

Roar Guru


I like Boric if he can spend some time uninjured. Suspect him in the 5 shirt would help the scrum a lot. Hoeata I think might be an option at 6, he can play there and I'd be interested in seeing him have a go at a higher level if he can have a strong consistent season with the 'Landers this year.

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