As the bottom eight enjoy their additional four weeks of annual leave, they will begin to turn their attention to not being as shocking in 2015.
This will include scouting new talent, something the Canberra Raiders have failed miserably at this season.
Then take into account the talented Raiders juniors who sign with rival teams, rep players who move because they actually want to play finals football, and those who sign and then renege. It ain’t pretty.
So with Canberra looking less mean Green Machine and more rusted lime-green Datsun, what are some contributing factors to why they can’t lock down talent?
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The Canberra weather
Seriously, have you ever been there? Only days after scorching temperatures above 40 are over, you’re scraping sleet from your windscreen.
The only two benefits of the temperature in Canberra are that it keeps the beers frosty during home games, and you can hang your binocular straps off your erect nipples.
Plus we all know NRL lads love getting their gear off to Snapchat some inappropriate images. This is made tougher, and far less impressive, when done in cold conditions.
The politicians
It’s a sad sight to drive along the Federal Highway to see much of our local wildlife killed by speeding vehicles, and it’s only made worse by the living politicians once you get there.
Most of us find it tough to wade through the scores of electoral hopefuls on election day at our local polling booths without choking them by their own promotional lanyards, so you can understand NRL players not wishing to see swarms of those same breed in horrible tie/suit combinations on a daily basis.
It’s odd though, because given the scandals in both politics and NRL, you’d assume both groups would be united by common activities. Just don’t inhale.
The green jersey
It’s awful, isn’t it? It’s like an outfit out of an episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Thinking of Glen Lazarus stuffed into a Raiders jersey is proof enough that the look just isn’t flattering, as even he moved to Brisbane and then Melbourne for a darker, more suitable ensemble.
Coming into the comp in 1982 did limit their colour choices, but surely trying to blend into the turf wasn’t the best option. Psychologists say the colour green invokes feelings of balance and calmness, but I couldn’t sit through the movie The Green Lantern, because it reminded me too much of the ’89 grand final, and I don’t like remembering Wayne Pearce crying.
The only jersey worse that the Raiders is the canary-yellow leader’s jersey from cycling, which seems like an ironic punishment to prove that winning ain’t everything!
Floriade
If there’s one thing that scares NRL players more than a pub’s 3am lockout, it’s flowers. So migrating to a city which is internationally renowned for a flower show would be like Ray Warren taking a job as a librarian.
While the thought of some of the game’s big names skipping through the floral arrangements and taking pictures of hydrangeas with their iPads gives me the giggles, the game’s copping enough criticism for going soft.
If the Raiders can lobby to have Floriade moved to another state, and perhaps have the International Neck Tattoo Show held in the ACT, they may successfully grab a few more players.
So there are four reasons, but let’s face it, there are more. There has to be as well, because the Canberra Raiders really seem to struggle to lure players.
Perhaps with football no longer on his agenda, Clive Palmer could purchase the side and entice players with trips on his Titanic II in 2016. Until then, the Raiders will remain the competition’s cellar dwellers, as they throw ludicrous cash at players who would prefer to stay out of the ACT.
Geoff from Bruce Stadium
Guest
I think Josh Hoffman could be a better choice simply based on age. Hoffman is 26 and Brett Stewart is 29. Having said that Stewart has had a great season. I've been impressed with his defence as well as how he links in attack for Manly. Robinson had a great year when Dugan kept getting injured in 2012 but didn't play as well last year. Anthony Milford ended up playing at full back for the second half of 2013 and ended up winning the Mal Meninga medal for best and fairest at the club. I loved watching Reece in space as he can carve up the opposition with his change of pace as well as having a good passing game. Unfortunately he got found out in defence a few times this year which may have sealed his fate. I think the Raiders may be OK with full back options with Jordan Rapana and Jack Wighton both doing well towards the end of the season. The real focus should be on getting a running five eighth to replace Campese and Blake Austin would fit perfectly.
adelaideWill
Guest
Do you think Brett Stewart would be a good signing? I would worry that he is very injury prone and he would be lost playing outside of the Manly structure. That seemed to be what happened when he played for the Blues. What happened to Robinson? He was smashing it playing fullback last year after Dugan left and now he seems to be struggling to get a game anywhere.
turbodewd
Guest
Im a Raiders fan and Id be happy if we changed the jersey color. Change to the green that the Philadelphia Eagles use. Oh and 95% of the politicians in Canberra....arent from Canberra! :^) Clive Palmer will last one election, surely!
Geoff from Bruce Stadium
Guest
Actually Jervis Bay would have been nice. It's been part of the ACT since 1915 as the national capital needed to have access to the sea. Imagine if Canberra had been based there. Beautiful harbour and beaches and close to national parks. People would been crawling over broken glass to live, work and play there. Instead some moron decided to plonk the capital in the middle of sheep paddocks where it gets down to minus 6 in Winter. Never mind - we Canberrans are a hardy lot. Getting back to footy - the Raiders have recruited a hooker from the UK and have signed potential rep players in Croker and Vaughan to long term deals. If they can jag Blake Austin to fill the five eighth spot and sign either Josh Hoffman or Brett Stewart at fullback prospects could be looking much better for next season. In fact the way Jack Wighton finished the season maybe they don't need to sign a fullback.
Jinxed
Guest
Poor taste, not funny and downright rude to be honest. There was nothing new or interesting, the article was just a poor attempt at Canberra bashing, thanks for the insight Gareth. Please do us all a favour and don't bother next time.
MAX
Guest
If Ricky can encourage Blake Austin and another three players of that quality to Canberra we may be embarrassed for thinking that his statistical record was all bovex. But, it may simply be a matter of Location, Location, Location. Had our Capital been granted territory sited near Port Stephens on NSW mid north coast none of today's problems would have arisen... kinda like the coulda woulda shoulda Sea Change of missed opportunity. Salt water does wonders for keeping people and players fit and happy.
melbourneterrace
Guest
1. You have to live in Canberra 2. You have to play for Canberra Everything else seems to revolve around those two points.
Elma Dudd
Guest
The real four reasons ... 1. Ricky Stuart 2. Ricky Stuart 3. Ricky Stuart 4. Ricky Stuart
Dan
Guest
I was referring to fiver's comprehension skills. Of course it was a joke. Lighten up.
MJB
Guest
Was this meant to be funny? Don't give up the day job.
Geoff from Bruce Stadium
Guest
Yeah - highly original and really funny Gareth. You forgot to mention that 99% of politicians come from outside Canberra. Don't give up your day job.
steveng
Roar Rookie
It's not only his comprehension skills but the overall article is ridiculous and knit picking at its worst. How do all the players around the world where there are worst temperatures of minus do it playing the NFL, Premier League etc Mr Gareth Kidd? Your logic is bewildering.
adelaideWill
Guest
Wow a story about Canberra and you mentioned the weather and politicians.. lots of thought went into this one
Dan
Guest
I'm concerned over your comprehension skills.
fiver
Guest
Is this a joke? I don't think any of those are reasons, especially number 4. The weather sucks in winter but it gets quite cold in Melbourne as well. Canberra is a bit of a boring, sterile place in my opinion but players who don't want to live in a big city who come from the country might find that Canberra suits them. If the Raiders were regular finals contenders they would be able to lure some decent players, its that simple.