When it comes to grand final day entertainment, both the NRL and the AFL either get it very wrong or very right. Sadly, the NRL more often than not opts for the former.
While last year’s meeting of the minds between ‘our’ Jessica Mauboy and the Nine Network’s Ricky Martin was suitably bright and bubbly, there was something a little off about a soccer World Cup anthem being re-appropriated for Australian rugby league’s day of days.
Or should that be night of nights? Twilight of twilights? The timeslot changes so often it’s hard to keep up.
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Regardless, belting out a chorus of Olés at a rugby league game not involving the Spanish national team is about as appropriate as Tony Abbott deploying C’mon Aussie C’mon as the backing track for his next speech urging us all to suit up for #TeamAustralia, or anyone chanting the “Aussie-Aussie-Aussie”, “Oi-oi-oi” call and response at an event that isn’t the Sydney 2000 Olympics. It’s just not right.
NRL HQ obviously thought it was time to get all meat-and-potatoes about the game-day experience again, which is why in 2014 we’re presented with guitar hero Slash – who’ll no doubt unleash some of the greatest riffs written before half of the main event’s combatants were born – and Train, whose booking agent has somehow convinced everyone involved that Australians want to hear what else the band have come up with in the 13 years since Drops Of Jupiter came out.
This change of tack is further proof that when it comes to deciding what its demographic is, or which sub-sector of it they’d get the most mileage out of catering for, the NRL has an identity crisis.
Are they trying to hold on to the rusted-on working class fans of Gen X and beyond? In this instance, kind of. The Gen Ys and Millennials are no doubt as bemused as this jaded Gen Xer, though in fairness they were catered for when Justice Crew performed Que Sera before Origin 2 this year.
I later heard an NRL radio panel, incredulous, asking each other who the hell they were, oblivious to the fact that the group were on track for racking up what is now the longest-running homegrown No.1 single of all time.
But unless NRL heavyweights can convince Metallica or Katy Perry to headline the pre-game, or perhaps the Hilltop Hoods or Gotye on a local level, they’re never going to please the majority.
Which is why they should leave concert promoting to the professionals and focus on giving rugby league fans want they’ve been relishing for years – the long-awaited battle for NRL sprinting supremacy over 100 metres on grand final day.
If lining up eight blokes to run as fast as they can is good enough to be the pinnacle of the biggest sporting event on the planet, it’s good enough to get the juices flowing before an obscure premiership decider at the arse-end of the world.
Fans would love it. Bookmakers, now one of the game’s most important stakeholders, would definitely love it. Even the guys from Train would probably love it.
And if one of the stars of The Voice Kids can shoot the starter’s pistol, the host broadcasters would no doubt love it as well.
Wally
Guest
She was simply the best, I agree and nothing since compares
Duncan
Guest
The AFL approached Metallica, Coldplay, Bon Jovi , and Lenny Kravitz in 2010 but had no way of affording the fee these four were asking. From memory I think it was around five million for Metallica, four million for Bon Jovi and Cold Play and nine hundred thousand for Kravitz which is why we end up with Tom Jones and Meatloaf as we just don't have the condensed population of Europe, the USA and South America to be able to ask the appropriate ticket prices which would be a thousand dollars and over if one of the four bands mentioned above performed
Dean - Surry Hills
Guest
Great concept Dave Hasler vs. Toovey - locals Piggins vs. Crowe - yocals Sonny Bill vs. Gallen - vocals
Dave
Guest
Half time boxing!! Greenberg v Crowe Gallen v Myles Smith v Farah -- Comment from The Roar's iPhone app.
Celtic Bandaid
Guest
Johnny O'Keefe in 1977 was the best pre match entertainment I ever saw in about 30 odd GFs I attended. Sadly he departed not long after but Jon English was a close second performing at about 3 in a row in the late 70's early 80's and like Johnny knew how to play to the crowd and play what they wanted not what they wanted I'm not a big fan of either of these 2 blokes but the rest of the entertainment since then has been pretty ordinary. It may look good on TV but rarely it isn't. LIke me most people at the ground just use the time to go the shop, toilet, bar TAB etc and would rather watch a lower grade game than tomorrows has- been No disrespect to Ricky Martin ,Jessica or the latest winners of X Factor or Idol or whatever it is but I'd rather watch a relay or a kick catching contest even at home on TV than watch them sing and promote themselves before the main event. The same goes for the national anthem. Julia Anthony was flawless for about 5years, The crowd sang with her .Why bring in the person playing the lead role in the latest musical production at the Capitol Theatre when they only want to do their "Own Rendition" that no one can join in with ? Anyway bring back Bob Abbott.and get rid of the goose who replaced him.
Knightblues
Guest
Ricky was brilliant
The Mexican
Guest
Slash is a GREAT choice. ....... but Channel 9 probably wont show that part in Melbourne anyway so what does it matter?!?!
Knightblues
Guest
Are you serious Kris? The NRL entertainment has been pretty good in the last 3 years, some people in Australia are just never happy with anything. I love Slash, I hope he will be wearing the shades and Top hat and he rips out Sweet child of mine intro with back up singers also. Train is an odd choice, but they did have that massive drops of Jupiter hit, and if the AFL can rollout Tom with hits from 50 years ago we can do the same with Train from 12 years ago Also the NRL entertainment drops big huge ones on the AFL entertainment if you can even call it that, and has done so for some years now.
Knightblues
Guest
Give it a rest Kris, people like you will never be happy until something like NFL half time entertainment happens every year. I have been watching the half time and pre game shows for the last 3 years, and they have been pretty damn good, and leave the AFL's ones usually along way behind. So stop with the whining mate, because I've been pretty impressed with them, especially 2012's effort.
Muzz
Guest
Kris - Lycra fetish ? : )
Cotts
Guest
Let's just let HG and Roy select the entertainment / events for the day. They could then call the game, and be judges on The Voice later. That gets rid of the need for a delayed telecast, a panel of "experts" and the "matey" use of first names.
Monstrous
Guest
Tom Jones and Ed sheerin had everyone covered I think. The AFL are lucky Tom didnt speak because his uncle started a RL team in his home town (no longer exists - the team that is) but he wasn't included in the 1999 Wales RU World Cup in Wales because of his league leanings..
Greg
Guest
Good idea except that most of the players not playing in the GF are overseas on holiday
Griggso
Guest
Bring back Billy Idol! It may not have gone exactly to plan last time, but it was sure as hell entertaining. I still get the giggles thinking about his grand entrance on the hovercraft. And the leather-clad poncing around and fist pumping while waiting for the roadies to fix the sound - absolute gold. Maybe it was just a dastardly cunning plan from the outset? Although they can't have told Bill the whole plan - he looked genuinely miffed as exited stage left on is hovercraft.
sambo
Guest
No time to watch entertainment.Half time is for toilet break,long queue for food and/or drink,then the battle to return to your seat.
Dracula
Guest
Alfie wasn't too bad himself as a singer... remember that one..... "St George can't play football"
Patrick Effeney
Editor
They're not allowed to have people push zorbs around anymore are they? That was always classic...
Epiquin
Roar Guru
It's a joke, Chen. Jamie Soward: Fastest man over 40 metres...
Robyn
Guest
A sprint would add some excitement. What about a mascot sprint or cheerleader sprint??
MAX
Guest
Kris, How about a 800m challenge with a corporate offering odds for the number of elbows during the running by a full field of 16.