Of course, for Chelsea, the red alert has been sounding for a while now, if only in response to a number of startling micro-crises; the form, or utter lack thereof, of Branislav Ivanovic, the dropping of John Terry, and the continued antics, and subsequent fallout, of Diego Costa.
There are more, too.
But now, as Chelsea succumbed in a fashion so unlike them, at least in recent memory, 3-1 to Southampton at home, Jose Mourinho himself appears to have knitted all these spot-calamities into one huge, all-encompassing, club-wide catastrophe.
He did so in his post-match interview, which was essentially a seven-minute rant, verging deep into the existential.
Mourinho was asked by the interviewer: “What did you make of your team’s performance?” His response was prefaced with a pair of ominous phrases “I think you know me… first of all I want to say…”.
He seemed to be winding up for his biggest ever unjustified balk, a whinge the scope of which has never been seen, not even in a Mourinho press conference. He called for honesty, for frank assessment, apparently throwing off the blinders to fix a clear gaze on the gleaming serrated reality of things.
Then he complained that the referees weren’t giving his team enough penalties. Trembling as we were for something new, something astonishing, suddenly our bodies went limp with the mundane familiarity of it all.
But then his monologue went on, like entranced whirling dervish nudged off balance. One and half minutes in, Mourinho mentions Diego Costa’s ban, then a breath later, their midweek loss in the Champions League. Something is building, a bubbling surge of technicolour bile, fantastic and caustic.
Only partially satiated as we were with the entree list of unawarded penalties, Mourinho served up a filling main course by turning a scathing eye to his players.
“My team, in this moment, the first negative thing that happens, the team collapses. The team, mentally, psychologically, is unbelievably down. It looks like good players are bad players.”
His assessment of the match, garnished again with talk of denied penalties, was somehow, at the same time, one-sided and brutally honest.
Then, without another question being asked, Mourinho, in a moment steeped in Freudian revelation, says this:
“I can also know what you are thinking and saying in the studio. What people are saying is going to happen is not going to happen. I want to make it clear – one I do not run away. Two – if the club wants to sack me they have to sack me because I am not running away from my responsibilities from my team or from my conviction.
Yes, there it was, like a freshly hatched reptile, the greasy sight of Mourinho hypothesising about some future sacking, completely and utterly unprompted. Why Mourinho would make some mystical attempt to preempt talk of redundancy, at first, makes no sense. But if we pause the playback for a few moments, the stark horror of Chelsea’s title defence comes into focus; they stand fifth-bottom, with the second-worst defensive record in the league.
They are in the middle of their worst start to a Premier League season, their worst league start since 1978, the season they finished bottom. They have already conceded more goals than they did over the entirety of Mourinho’s first season at Chelsea.
Their eight points from eight matches is leading them, historically speaking, to an expected final finish of 14th, the average league finish for teams that collect this many points from this many matches. No team has finished higher than fifth after this sort of start.
With this latest loss, Mourinho saw for the very first time a visiting team score more than two goals at Stamford Bridge. At one point, Southampton had registered nine second-half shots to Chelsea’s zero. There might be a warrant out for Dusan Tadic’s arrest, after he murdered poor Ivanovic (or did he just desecrate an already lifeless body?).
It’s enough to separate anyone from their sanity, and Mourinho seems a little removed from real life at the best of times. And it wasn’t over either.
“This is a crucial time in the history of this club,” Mourinho said.
“Do you know why? Because if the club sacks me, they sack the best manager that this club has had…”
Prior to driving this iron wedge between himself and his employers, almost goading them into firing him, Mourinho had spoken, visibly and painfully unsure of what he was about to say, that he was “more than convinced that we will finish in the top four and when the season is so bad and you finish in the top four it’s okay”.
The sentence was barely audible over echoes of Arsene Wenger’s laughter, and catcalls of “there’s no such thing as a fourth-place trophy”.
“Living the worst period of my career, the worst results of my career, doing that as a professional hurts me a lot, doing that at Chelsea hurts me twice.”
Mourinho said these words with eyes squinted slightly, wincing as the sentence spilled from a mouth now resembling a jagged tear. He finished his diatribe by bringing us, now giddy, full circle, back to the referees. He bade thanks, and bolted.
One question asked, and a seven-minute answer given. Like a timpani rolling down a hill, there was no stopping this mad noise. Jose will not want to watch this footage back, video evidence of his own crazed unraveling.
The Special One is now in a very special place of his own making, a lonely place, and the only consolation that exists for him there is his own babbling.
SM
Guest
Mourinho's behaivour is much different now than it was in the past. There's a nastiness now that wasn't present then. No longer is he the cool, calm, and always in control character that captivated everyone. I think it all started when he eye gouged the late Tito Vilanova. He's been going downhill ever since.
Kaks
Roar Guru
He's got you all hook line and sinker. Managers like Fergie and Mourinho are so great because they are large personalities who take the media attention off of their team and onto them. Look at the only article posted about Chelsea on this site, it's not about the team - it's about Mourinho. There is a reason why all of his past and present players (except for Madrid) will run through a wall for him. His demeanour in front of the camera is all for show. It amazes me how people still dont understand this.
Kaks
Roar Guru
None of this matters as Chelsea will not be letting Mourinho go any time soon.
Eden
Guest
John stones is saying thanks to Martinez right now. If Chelsea continue until January will be interesting to see what stones does
Batou
Guest
True. Surely that should be a warning to anyone else in a similar position in the future though. I'm sure they could find someone, I'm just struggling to picture who it could be at the moment. In particular who could possibly be seen as an upgrade on Mourinho, despite their poor start. I think that they'll stick with him unless things really fall apart. This could be Abromovic's chance to show that he's not just about buying titles and that there is something more to the club. It would be cheaper too...
Batou
Guest
Yeah, you're probably right. I hope so anyway
Bondy
Guest
He's definitely " paranoid " lashing out at everybody, team physio',s Referees, Wenger,Chelsea players its great to see mental capitulation through sport ...
SM
Guest
Well, he did to go down the whole 'up and coming' thing with Villas Boas, and refused to give him time while implementing an entirely new system. A lack of foresight that is a hallmark of modern professional football.
SM
Guest
Juventus won't get rid of Allegri after going so close to winning the treble last season. They've also started well in this season's CL. Besides, Serie A, in my opinion, is the most even out of all the top leagues at the moment. As other clubs drop points, I expect Juve to haul themselves back into contention by the winter break.
The artist formerly known as Punter
Guest
Sir Alex Ferguson was actually not very popular either. Sometimes geniuses has their flaws!!!!
Mister Football
Roar Guru
Very true Batou.
Batou
Guest
It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy by the way! I'm still struggling to get over my laughter from that press conference :)
Batou
Guest
One of the many interesting things about this for me is, who would Chelsea turn to if they were to get rid of Mou? Pretty much everyone available who is any good has already been Chelsea manager (eg Ancelotti) or wouldn't seem to fit their style (Klopp) and you'd hardly think that the Chelsea job would be seen as a particularly attractive one for a top manager these days considering the expected length of tenure would be very short. I can't really see Abromovic going for a young up and coming talent either, he wants instant results and this requires a proven super manager, preferably with a strong track record in the Champions' League. The way I see it, Mourinho is still the best manager for that club, even if they end up mid table this year. This would require a significant re-evaluation of what is acceptable from Abromovic, but look what all his manager changes between Mourinho's periods in charge brought him. Surely he would have more years of success if he sticks with Mourinho over the long term rather than changing all the time... Simone might fit the requirements perhaps? But would he be interested?
Batou
Guest
I can see Juve getting rid of Allegri to be honest. They are in nearly as bad a position as Chelsea are with 8 points from seven games. Whether they would want Mourinho at the moment or not is another question. Bayern on the other hand (and PSG to a lessor extent) are probably pretty happy with everything right now I'd say!
SM
Guest
Mourinho certainly seems a lot easily rattled lately. Remember when he bizarrely had a go at Benitez's wife after she made some tongue in cheek comments recently? But the big issue is where does ho go to from Chelsea? We all know he'd only go to a big club that likes to get the chequebook out, and that doesn't currently leave many to choose from. He won't go back to Real Madrid, so it's only really PSG, Juve or Bayern. Although Juve haven't historically been massive spenders relative to other powerhouse clubs throughout their history. Whatever the case, I can't see any of those clubs shifting managers anytime soon.
Evan Morgan Grahame
Expert
exist loquaciously, or betake oneself hither to ya digs.
Ben of Phnom Penh
Roar Guru
Some colourful imagery there, Evan :) This season has seen the likes of West Ham, Crystal Palace and Leicester well in the thick of it and the EPL is better for it. Regaining momentum could be difficult for Chelsea as it isn't a problem with their list which is brimming with talent. It is a strange malaise that has settled on the club.
Bondy
Guest
If Chelsea lose two of their next three games Roman will get the wand out,again .
The artist formerly known as Punter
Guest
All Chelsea's & Mou's problems all started with this treatment of Dr Eva Carnerio. Even the Special One, cannot & should not act like this.
Stevo
Roar Rookie
And then there's the sad case of how he treated Dr Eva Carneiro. A person doing their duty looking after the health and safety of a player. A doctor who's first responsibility as a medical professional is to look after player welfare. The Special One thought that he should intervene - well that was totally wrongheaded and how the FA has not sanctioned him and Chelsea is beyond comprehension. Of course money talks.