I’ve been a rugby mum a couple of years now but I am now also a newbie coach. It’s been less than two months since I started in the role but it feels like so much has happened in those months.
I enjoy it so much that every day I look forward to Sundays when I get to coach again.
I’ve loved rugby since I was 11 and read my first rugby coach biography at age 12. I love reading coaching bios. There is a big difference between coaching grown professionals and small children, but I’ve learnt that the ultimate ethos is the same – the physical, mental and personal improvement of the players under your care.
So six weeks into my coaching journey, we faced our first major challenge – the international juniors tournament that our club in Malaysia organises. It’s a major event in south-east Asia, with 173 teams from different countries and 2500-plus players competing in more than 500 games over a weekend. This year an Under-6 category was created and we entered a side.
Trying to organise and focus a bunch of Under-6s in training is a mad exercise in itself – let alone trying to get them to concentrate in an eight-minute game! As a coach of a mini-team, I am allowed on the field behind the players, to talk to them and try and help direct play. That is easier said than done.
The first game at the tournament was like a circus – we had kids running the wrong way, a couple staring into space, and when the club drone hovered overhead to take video of the play – well, talk about a distraction!
A coach in these circumstances has to just breathe in and breathe out, and quite frankly, have a sense of humour. It’s truly hilarious to see how randomly little ones behave on the pitch.
The next few games were much the same. We did score a few tries but let more in. The chaos continued with players playing with their gum shields, tagging their own teammates instead of the opponents, doing cartwheels during a match and attempting to score tries on any white line except the try line!
By some sort of miracle we weren’t last in our pool and ended up playing for the Shield trophy. A couple of kids had left and we had an injury, so we had only seven players on the field instead of the maximum eight. The other team not only had a full complement, they also had substitutes, and so I cheerfully resigned myself to the inevitable.
However, expect the unexpected with kids. Somehow they clicked better in this game than in the earlier games. There were some lovely attacking runs and they organised themselves much better in defence.
We scored a try and in the chaos of the game I somehow thought the other team had scored too. With 30 seconds remaining, a girl from the other side ran down left touch to the try line… but we have a tiny little whizz-kid, a mini-speedster, who ran an incredible angle to reach her and execute a perfect tag two metres out.
When the whistle blew I asked the pitch marshal what was going to happen. He looked at me strangely and said, “What do you mean? Dani, we won.”
That was such a shock. I didn’t expect that!
Feeling bemused, I told the kids to go to where the medals and trophies were being handed out. Really, I should have led the way as they kept walking and walking past the awards table and were almost at the food trucks when I caught up with them, turned them around and finally got them to receive their dues!
Kids. So funny.
To be satisfied as a coach of little kids, you’ve got to watch the expressions on their faces when they’ve got the ball in hand or when they’re going for a tag, and see the effort there. I love seeing the photos that professional sports photographers take of our games as that energy is shown so clearly.
And you’ve got to look not at winning games or tournaments. It’s seeing those ‘click moments’ when all of a sudden a child understands and executes a task well. The pleasure that they get when they do it makes a coach’s heart swell too.
I am very lucky to have a super co-coach who helps prepare the kids well and a terrific team manager who help make it all happen.
DaniE
Roar Guru
For our tournament, we had a team fly in all the way from Waikato to Malaysia to play in the U18s. Size-wise they were phenomenal. While they were mostly 16 years of age, they looked like grown men, cut with muscles. Powerful. Even though quite a number of their opposing sides had western expat boys playing - there was still barely any comparison. Their games ended up being packed with spectators. The comments on the sidelines ranged from "do they each eat a whole cow?" to "they could bench-press me with their fingers". Of course they won at a canter!
gbrizzy
Guest
Congrats Dani amazing what hanging out with your kids brings. We moved from NZ to Australia quite a while ago our 13 year old son played inside centre in NZ when he joined a team here and I went to watch his first game they had him playing lock as they said he was a good size boy but funnily enough in NZ they said he was slightly small for the forwards but an ideal centre
mania
Guest
yeah PeterK they've gotten that majorly wrong rugby here doesn't tackle til they're eight and then they stream them by weight so I took my boy to league (where I ended up coaching) where they tackle from day dot and divide them up by age not weight. so for 2 years my boys was tackling and playing against a lot bigger kids . when he went to rugby U8's all of a sudden he was the biggest boy in the team and the only one who knew how to tackle properly without getting hurt. I have to say I should've moved him up a grade because he was devastating and he was just smashing these kids in his grade. ave to say that the league kids where much more skilled. they had cheeky steppers and some kids had awesome fends. most could catch and pass and some learnt to use the kick, chip and bomb as weapons of attack. in rugby the U8 kids were still passing forward when they panicked. ironically in rugby U8's my boy wasn't allowed to fend, so I taught him to drop the shoulder and that did heaps more damage to the oppsn than a fend would've. funny
Harry Jones
Expert
More, please, Dani
Rugby Tragic
Roar Rookie
DaniE, you should have handed the 'Harassor' the whistle, then haraased him... he would have then become the 'harassee'
Rugby Tragic
Roar Rookie
It was a pleasure catching up DaniE ... and regarding Brian Williams, my only real connection is that we both went to MAGS and briefly when I used to make a nuisance of myself at Ponsonby Rugby Club ... BG had had a brother at MAGS too.. Kenny ... he was big... and I mean BIG, by memory he was the school sprint champion. In that era, people talked about BG's thighs being like tree stumps, he was small compared to Kenny.
DaniE
Roar Guru
RugbyTragic, haha don't tell BeeGee that you met someone related to him... though he'd probably get with the Samoan connection that I'm one of a 1000 cousins :P I think you got from the other night an idea that men don't have the monopoly anymore on crazy! Women can be just as mad as men. Just with the more exotic hormones to boot!
ThelmaWrites
Guest
Mighty proud, DaniE!
Geoff Parkes
Expert
Awesome stuff Dani - the article and the coaching!! I've "been there done that" with the little ones as well, hell of a task, just like herding cats as the saying goes! The bit I didn't like was the attitude of some of the parents who simply treated you as an unpaid baby-sitter and showed no genuine interest in their kids' sporting progress - so hopefully you don't get too much of that. Looking forward to hearing how things progress.
Digby
Roar Guru
Mostly organised ;)
Rugby Tragic
Roar Rookie
Woo Hoo DaniE, great read, very interesting, thanks. You see, over time 'us male chauvinists' had to relent and allow the fairer sex into the domain once dominated by the male of the species. Take racing ... female jockeys are becoming really prevalent (particularly in NZ) then Michelle Payne goes and takes out the Melbourne Cup ... Good grief, us mere males we need to watch our step!! More seriously, distant cuz of BeeGee *grin*...congratulations..
DaniE
Roar Guru
Ahhh sounds so organized... Jealous. Explains NZ dominance!
DaniE
Roar Guru
Interestingly, senior level rugby here isn't totally amateur - there's quite a few professional players, from Fiji mainly but also Australia (including a Randwick guy!) and the UK. Quite fascinating. Not sure what the remuneration is like.
DaniE
Roar Guru
Oh dear you were one of the Ancients in Bangkok? Glad u are still with us to tell the tale. Having kids in your prime just helps to maintain eternal youth, I think ? No teams from Thailand in the younger ages but a few I think in the teens! If your club has a tournament.... Hmm be fun to go to
DaniE
Roar Guru
Don, during the tournament our kids were so engrossed in pushing their mouth guards on and off their teeth while the game was going on. A couple were even comparing them! We had to ask the parents to withhold the mouth guards the last couple of games. Maybe that's why they focused a bit better at the end ?
Digby
Roar Guru
Introduced during the Under 8 season Dani. Coaching clinics are generally available at each club with representatives from the local Rugby Union during training runs. Many girls tend to play one (maybe two in some instances) years below with tackle as well. Some clubs are able to field all girl teams as well, many do very well.
Digby
Roar Guru
Wish I had thought of that, Me ladys pets were too small for that! I was the moving target. ;)
jameswm
Roar Guru
In Australia it is touch in the U6s and u7s, but tackle in league.
Don
Roar Rookie
Times change. I remember as a kid our coach struggled getting full participation from a few boys. The reason was, back in those days the rugby shorts had pockets and a few of the less confident kids used to stand out on the field with their hands in their pockets. About a month down the track he asked every mum to sew up the pockets on their kids shorts. Problem solved. Not all improved but they all looked involved at least.
Bakkies
Guest
'But don’t forget kids love to win from a very young age. Its the first thing they usually as at full time. ‘Did we win’.' They also have to learn how to improve and keep on working hard even when winning so it doesn't become too easy for them.