Last Saturday night, I had a great time toggling between the Super Rugby and Malcolm Turnbull’s unfolding horror.
It was compelling stuff. Tight battles for territory and possession. Sniping attacks and obdurate defences. Surprise advances amid predictable plays and 50/50 calls. With opinionated commentators wittering their observations – both considered and crap – throughout.
The rugby wasn’t bad either.
I sat transfixed by the brilliant punch and counter-punch of the Hurricanes’ eventual subduing of the valiant Blues. But by the time the result of the Stormers vs Rebels match looked undoubtedly in the visitors’ favour, I had flicked over permanently to a much more enthralling contest – albeit one still in search of a result at the time of writing, almost a week after the commencement of play.
It was more gripping than it should have been watching the big swing all but knock the incumbents from their perch. Malcolm’s double disillusionment etched all over the forced gloss he attempted to put on things amid the whinging of his petulant full-time speech.
I wondered if Michael Cheka was watching. And if he so, was he doing what I was doing and drawing parallels between the PM’s predicament and his just seven days previous in a public theatre of similarly shattered dreams just up the road from the Wentworth Sofitel?
When confronting the stark reality of losing 3-zip to the poms, Cheka, like Turnbull, must have wondered how it had it come this.
Both men’s failures were a dim world away from the glorious optimism that swirled around them when ascending their respective thrones.
The more I thought about it, the more I realised there are remarkable similarities in their stories. Both are products of Sydney’s Eastern suburbs and are self-made men, making their fortunes in careers different to the ones they are now in. Both were destined for the top job, but each got there a little earlier than planned, taking the reins from poorly performing predecessors who departed before their ‘contracts’ were up.
Both swept to power on a wave of expectation and a widely held belief that, finally, the cream had risen to the top and all the wins each had enjoyed in life to that point would carry over to a new era of success.
Indeed, just after Malcolm stuck the knife into Tony Abbott last September, Michael was plunging one into the hearts of home fans with the Wallabies’ dominant victory over England sending the home team tumbling out of their own World Cup.
And how it unravelled so spectacularly for both barely eight months down the track. Each coming unstuck against under-estimated opponents that out-thought and ultimately out-fought them.
Yet, despite all this, both are secure in their jobs for now, due largely to a paucity of credible alternatives.
And both have a golden chance to dramatically turn their fortunes around in coming weeks – one by somehow winning enough seats to scrape through to form a majority government, the other by beating the All Blacks and winning the elusive Bledisloe Cup.
Unfortunately for each, neither looks remotely possible.
ThugbyFan
Roar Guru
LoL, I hear you bro.
Boz the Younger
Guest
After the last two months I'd sooner emulate Linda Lovelace than read any more politics.
LittleBigMan
Roar Rookie
Interesting read Matt. Did you know Malcolm Turnbull's wife, Lucy nee Hughes, related to Wallabies James and Bryan Hughes? I guess there is some sort of rugby associated.
ThugbyFan
Roar Guru
Sheesh Boz, you are sounding like Linda Lovelace, but I'm sure Deep Throat was more entertaining than the stuff on Saturday's tv. :)
Matt Porter
Roar Guru
Turnbull's mob might have got more seats, but it wasn't a win, especially not for him.
Machooka
Roar Guru
Yeah... pull your head in Matt! I want to hear more about the Tahs... and when do they take over Australia Rugby for real?
Geoff Parkes
Expert
If I can be just a wee bit critical.... Matt, your premise is weakened a bit because Turnbull may have under-achieved, but he has actually won (despite Bill confusing the issue by doing his 'emperor with no clothes' victory lap) So the comparison is probably better with someone who is expected to win well, plays well below expectations, but just scrapes in regardless. More your Wallabies v Scotland at the RWC, something like that?
Geoff Parkes
Expert
Fair enough too Boz. Matt, pull your head in with all this psuedo-intellectual b/s and just stick to proper articles on rugby please. I don't understand why The Roar doesn't do more straight-up rugby coverage. I'd like to hear more about Folau, Beale, Skelton's fat gut, and while you're at it, why don't you let us know what Quade Cooper is up to.
Matt Porter
Roar Guru
Thanks dcnz. I think even if Cheik were to go 0 and 6 the ARU would be patient with him, hopefully the Blackadder legacy piece not for a few more weeks after that!
Republican
Guest
Far more likely that the Coalition will be able to govern in their own right, albeit with a small majority than the Wallabies ever have of defeating the All Blacks. Politics in this nation is so much more engaging for its unpredictability, wheres Trans Tasman Union is a ground hog day lasting decades now.
A.O.Tear Rower
Guest
I remember an article written about every coach who ever coached being on thin ice for one reason or another....probably even the ancient Greek coaches. McKenzie wasnt stabbed it the back anyway but he certainly did his best to get rid of Deans for his own benifit. I think Cheika backed McKenzie all the way.
dcnz
Guest
nice original correlation MP. how the mighty have fallen.... Out of MT and Chek, who do you think will go first? All we know is that Chek could be zero and six by Aug 27, unless he jags a win vs the AB's in August. looking forward to your Blackadder legacy piece in a couple of weeks,.....!
Boz the Younger
Guest
Seriously, we have had politics shoved down our throats all day, every day for the last two months. Do we need to have it infect the great escape of sport? It is bad enough that Pocock insists of shoving his politics down everybody else's throat, I fail to see the need for everybody to join in.
Machooka
Roar Guru
Thanks Matt... and a good read. The juxtaposition between a Rugby campaign and an Electoral campaign is an interesting one. Both campaigners select their team to take it to the street/field... and both have enormous confidence prior to that that their sides will do the job. Interesting to note that the real difference between the two is that Cheika has total control as to policy, whereas Turnbull wishes he had that control! :)
Muzzo
Roar Rookie
Nice read Matt, but truthfully, I wouldn't compare Fizza & his Bedwetters, Party, in the same class as Michael Cheika. Cheika, is passionate & very good,at his job, where as............. ????? Cheers
Matt Porter
Roar Guru
Cheers Lindsay
Tissot Time
Guest
These two remind me of Croesus whose wealth was not matched with happiness.
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
Awesome article Matt, love the analogy.
grapeseed
Guest
Even before ancient Greeks gazed up at massive balls of burning hydrogen billions of kilometres away and turned them into pictures of belts, scales, lions and fish, our penchant to weave a narrative to fit the vaguest of stimuli has been a constant of the human condition. Relevance and truth exist solely through the prism of the beholder. I wonder therefore how many beholders view the greatest comparison between Turnbull and Cheika as being that both rose to their positions by replacing leaders through the proxy of media advocates and disloyal, muckraking team members? It’s all as much a myth as astrology of course, but I will never forget the “Knives out for McKenzie” article from Spiro about four games into his tenure as coach. The ancient Greeks also had a fair bit to say about the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy.