Losing press conferences after a hiding are always fascinating. On one hand a nervy but respectful clique of journalists wary of kicking a man while he’s down. On the other, a circling pack of hyenas, waiting for their cue to tear off the chunks of dead meat that will form their stories.
Wallabies coach Michael Cheika fronts like the combative, proud man that he is, but his sombre face gives the true story away. Here is a man shell-shocked by what he has just witnessed. Who, in his own words, “didn’t see it coming.”
Cheika is adamant that the Wallabies sub-par performance wasn’t down to “rustiness”, which flies in the face of reasonable logic that the All Blacks, most of whom had been involved in intense Super Rugby finals, were clearly more match ready, and whose speed of thinking and ball movement were on a different plane.
No, according to Cheika it is attitude that is the problem; measurable, as always, by the tackle count. And this, of all of the horrible match statistics which are heavily skewed in the All Blacks favour, is the one that grates the most.
40 missed tackles is a number that is going to get any side in trouble.
It starts early, the All Blacks provided with space to work the tram lines, Keiran Read restored to the wide-running role which saw him named the IRB Player of the Year in 2013.
Bernard Foley is targeted in defence, isolated by Waisake Naholo and Malakai Fekitoa in the fifth minute, allowing Read to time his pass perfectly to send Ryan Crotty away for the opening try.
Foley’s night doesn’t get any better, the black wave keeps pounding at him until, in the second half, replacement flanker Ardie Savea runs right over the top of him like he is a mere irritation.
Throw in a ponderous kick that Jerome Kaino charges down and then patiently and expertly re-gathers for his try, and it all adds up to a horrible night for Australia’s playmaker.
By contrast, South Africa’s nemesis, Beauden Barrett, becomes Australia’s nightmare as well, distributing cleanly and then burning through gaps in between forward defenders who seem like mere statues.
He fades out of the game in the second half, a by-product of injury related positional changes, but players of such impact don’t need a full 80 minutes to decisively shape a game.
As the first half unfolds, an air of disbelief hangs over the stadium. How can the Wallabies, after weeks of intense training, with a raft of experienced players reinstated to the team, be so inept in kicking, handling in contact, and in lineout execution?
Later, in the happy press conference, Read is asked the reason why his side is so able to dominate the Wallabies on their own throw. Read just smiles and says that there is no sophisticated plan at work, they just jumped and got lucky.
No-one believes him.
True, the Wallabies are cruelled by injury. Number 12 is their ‘devils number’ tonight, with Matt Giteau, Matt Toomua and Rob Horne all succumbing. But Cheika rightfully swats this away as an excuse; Test rugby is about dealing with situations as they arise and, anyway, New Zealand suffers similarly.
The midfield is where the All Blacks gain dominance, unexpectedly through Crotty and Fekitoa, who, apart from switching off when given the opportunity to run in a gift try, enjoys by far his best Test match, full of sharp endeavor and straight line running.
More predictable is the midfield collision contest – well not a contest really. The Wallabies continually coughing up the ball upon contact, and failing to apply the same pressure to the soft hands of Brodie Retallick and Wyatt Crockett in return.
This was one area where Wallabies fans could reasonably have expected improvement after the England series, yet the absence of urgency and intent in their defensive line means that the midfield is conceded far too easily.
What stands out most is the gulf in pace. The Wallabies have lead in their boots, like amateur club runners taking on Usain Bolt in the 100 metres.
And the disparity in ball skills too; one phase early in the second half sees the All Blacks exchange half a dozen passes at close quarters, at rapid speed – breathtaking, and something this Wallabies side seems incapable of even attempting let alone pulling off.
The final try, to replacement winger Julian Savea is revealing; a classic ‘Sonny Bill Williams’ offload in midfield by Sam Whitelock to a hard running Kane Hames, in his debut Test no less, and, two crisp passes later, the Bus finishing it off in the corner, over the top of a gallant Will Genia.
Cheika accepts responsibility for his players being switched off – mental preparation is his piece of the pie and he pledges to reflect hard and honestly to work out how he can rectify this before next week.
No-one in the room disbelieves his intent, but all are skeptical that this, in itself, will be enough to turn things around.
One thing that will change for Wellington is what some people call the ‘intangible motivator’, that edge factor which explains how sides, from week to week, go from world-beaters to hacks and back again.
The All Blacks had it in Sydney, arriving early and preparing with a clear intent to erase the memory of their last two muddling performances at ANZ Stadium.
No matter what Steve Hansen tells his side this week, and the obvious areas for improvement they have in them, there will not be this edge again in Wellington. Coming off a record margin win, with Barrett running the cutter in front of his home crowd, they will do well to avoid injury from all the slaps on the back they receive from well meaning locals.
This edge will be there for the Wallabies to claim. Cheika speaks of the opportunity that his players have over the next week, to show what they are made of. To come back from humiliating defeat and pay back the faith their fans have in them.
Which players those are remains to be seen. It is too early to assess the damaged bodies, but changes will have to be made.
David Pocock, despite another herculean pilfering effort, surely cannot be the answer at number eight – he provides no ‘go forward’, and watch how he is left loping and lumbering as Barrett gasses past him for his try.
Besides, Cheika needs another genuine line-out option. It will be unthinkable to go into another Test match inviting the All Blacks to gang-tackle a deficient line-out. If not, then surely some variation in numbers and speed – quick ones, short ones, anything to at least keep the New Zealander’s guessing.
Cheika will also need to find a way to bring Israel Folau more into the play; either at centre, or by issuing an edict not to kick all of their hard won possession back to the All Blacks.
Good player that he is, it is hard to imagine Foley turning things around in a week, his confidence likely shattered. Only Quade Cooper and Cheika really know if he is equipped and ready to step out again in front of a New Zealand crowd, but there seems little option but to find out.
Other selection debates will rage on. At some stage Wallabies fans will demand all of the squad, with the exception of Folau, be dumped. Which mostly misses the point.
These are already, for the most part, Australia’s best players. How to deepen the talent pool is another, admittedly serious, topic for another day – seven days isn’t enough time for Cheika to solve that problem.
Almost as a relief, questions swing towards the bugging incident. Cheika is at first frustrated – “it’s nothing to do with us” – but then relaxes a little as it gives him breathing space to talk about something other than the shellacking he and his team just experienced.
And with that, Cheika is gone and it is all over. Although it felt like a funeral, at least most funerals provide a chance for mourners to recall the good aspects of the deceased’s life. Tonight however, there is nothing good.
On the bright side, unlike most funerals, there is another chance at life.
Nobody believes that the Wallabies can win in Wellington. They just don’t have enough command of rugby’s basics.
But it is crucially important for the psyche and health of Australian rugby that Cheika injects enough life and spirit into his team, so that at least his Wallabies, if they are to go down, go down with honour.
Dianne F Stemp
Guest
what he should be sacked and higher up as well with the language on line as well disgusting
Kirky
Roar Rookie
Geoff'! I think like yourself in that Folau is certainly better than ordinary but "an automatic pick" in any New Zealand side I, have doubts about that, ~ who would the Shaky Islanders leave out to put him in? He'd be the only one likely tho'!
Kirky
Roar Rookie
That OJ' is the crux of the problem in Australian International rugby. Apart from the lack of quality players and Coaching staff, the Administration is obviously woeful and it beggars belief how the International rugby system survives in Australia because that's all it's doing, ~ surviving, ~ just! The sporting climate here in Australia is structured in such a way that rugby is a very, very poor choice for the average young player to take on as a preferred sport, in short rugby therefore is a rank outside the norm' sport. I doubt there's any easy solution but a visit or two by all the Compadres' of Australian Rugby and their hangers on, to New Zealand and be schooled up on how it should be done would do no harm at all. Also if there's any true up and coming young rugby player showing ability, send him to New Zealand and integrate him in the intense programmes that take place there, possibly getting into a team environment to learn just how it should be done. Rugby folk outside New Zealand won't as a rule accept that the best possible overall rugby scenario exists there in Aotearoa! but exist it does, records don't lie! Just bite the proverbial bullet and do it. As rugby lovers nobody wants to see the Wallaby rugby side get cleaned out pretty much every game these days particularly by the Kiwis, so I'd love to see a programme set up that could allow players from OZ' to go over ''there'' and get top tuition, the best there is. I'm sure the NZRU would go along with at least some system as such.
Kirky
Roar Rookie
Katipo! I've advocated that for yonks' plus putting Hooper in at 2nd five mate! Folau has the ideal build for a top line No 8 and Hooper at 2nd five eight would in my opinion be a no brainer as in that position you don't need to be the fastest in the backline but you do need that punch and go forward stuff like Hooper can I'm sure produce. Through Hoopers scavenging style of loosie' he, gets himself all over the place and ''offside'' a hell of a lot which is not at all productive. He's too small for a loosie' anyway but, in saying that he's not the worst around either. Pocock, I dunno' he's a stealer of balls, end of story and he's easily dealt with as a norm'! Looking forward to the game today!
Kirky
Roar Rookie
Interesting take on Bernard Foley Geoff'! ~ Foley has played and contributed more to any Wallaby side than Quade Cooper has, period. He's not a flashy player but when his confidence is up he seems to play some pretty good stuff at First Five at least, and who could forget the Aussie/Wales game at the 2015 World Cup? it's just as well he played because, even though the Welsh had a horrendous injury list they played excellent rugby under those circumstances and if Foley hadn't kicked all the points the Aussies' wouldn't have played in the Final! I don't recall Cooper ever doing that! Occasionally things go badly for him, but what rugby player hasn't been in the same boat?
Jason
Guest
McMahon will get his opportunity next year when Pocock is away. He is undoubtedly a good player but below Pocock's level. A good 7 needs to do more than just the odd steal. Games are won with possession and Hooper would have trouble taking the ball from my Grandmother. Plus she always hated backs so would never be on the wing and therefore far away from where Hooper would be. I would love to see Morahan in the team; he's big, fast and strong and anyone who remembers his try for QLD against the Lions would know his skill level. He has had opportunities though and it may be too late for him now. Embarrassment will push the wallabies far this week. I don't think we'll win but it won't be as bad as Sydney. The NRC season commences this week so at least we will see some Australians winning!
Rugby Tragic
Roar Rookie
I've been here, there and everywhere! ... I was at the test in Sydney (if thats what you call it), I'm now back on the Gold Coast and I'll be in Wellington for the game at the cake tin!
Geoff Parkes
Expert
You might be being a bit harsh on a couple of players Bleary Eyed. Home fans have been bagging Nick Phipps for his inconsistent passing, Genia's service was very good on Saturday night and he didn't resort to kicking the ball away either - so surely he gets a pass? And Folau is "ordinary"? Not a natural rugby player or not, he's far, far better than ordinary and would be an automatic pick in any team, NZ included.
Nigel
Guest
Lead in their boots!!! You said it, the Wallabies were flat, not rusty or whatever other spin Cheika wants to put on it, they were flat, they have been worked too hard in the four weeks and this is what you have, slow motion rugby, timing, tackling, set piece everything was off.... Cheika always talks up the training aspect, has he actually got credentials, I doubt it, our boys were spent before they started and I based my guess the score on that. I calculated the score to 43 AB to 9 Wallabies and I was almost bang on!!!
Katipo
Guest
@BlearyEyed That's right. Cheika has been out thought tactically. The ABs are playing with a new style of attacking formation now. It appears they form in to 3 groups of 5. A point of attack and pods of 5 players either side of the point. The scrum, lineout, and breakdowns form the point. The groups of 5 have pre planned attacks for different situations. Whereas the Wallaby attack is about a single runner trying to miraculously break the line eg Folau, the ABs work in groups. Smart. Effective.
Bleary eyed
Guest
This is an Australian team one could grow to love. Said last year that Cheika was playing an outa date game. Lo and behold - one year later the WBs are still playing the same game. 3- zip against England should have been a bell-ringer but oh no. Cheika still brings a knife to a gunfight. Have to admire his tenacity. It is almost as though he has bought into the myth of old - 'to play the Australian way.' Unfortunately, every nation has moved on, having buried their myths, other than Australia. England play a greater than 10 man game, and Argentina have been developing their back line to compliment their forward pack. The four Aus players from abroad are still shell shocked from previous AB defeats. Their faces give it away each game. Hansen loves to see Giteau on the field as he has never performed against the ABs. Drew Mitchell, Adam Ashley-Cooper and Will Genia are barely any better. Israel Folau is ordinary but does the basics well. ABs prefer to kick down his throat and set two/three defenders to cover him, put him on the ground, and bring in two forwards to make an excellent fist of slowing down the ball, if not making a good attempt of a turnover. That play in itself makes each Wallaby rather nervous. Folau does not have the natural instinct of a player of Gavin Hastings calibre. During the late 80s and early 90s Hastings made every spectator twitch each time the ball went near him. Often as the average Scottish pack was tiring - Hasting would come sniffing about and then charge up through the forwards to cross the advantage line. His forwards would react bravely as their inspirational leader went to ground, and would grow another leg. Just not seeing the same metal with this team.
Timbo (L)
Guest
The scary thing for me is that I think the AB's had a faily mediocre game... by their standards. There were a few penalties and conversions lost (Queue Damien MacKenzie at 15) I also felt that they hadn't quite gelled as a team yet. There is more room to improve. Lord Help us!
Timbo (L)
Guest
Need a Shot Caller for the Lineout - Simmons or Carter fill that Role, They bring in big numbers when the contest is even, which it wasn't for the first 60. Skelton is unfit and can't jump - it puts the bench at risk and removes a line out option. He is great at making up for lightweight #7 packing in beside him..
Timbo (L)
Guest
Australian Tight 5 is sound, unfortunately they aren't being picked for the side.
Timbo (L)
Guest
Sounds about right, I like Coleman for second lock and Kerevi over Felau but it is a bit of a coin flip. I agree, Moore's throws were sound, the change in the second half was the introduction of Mumm and Fardy. Hooper lost both throws to him, I am hoping that was the last time he is given a chance. Those skills should be learned in SR, not internationals Fardy to start @6, Mumm impact for Simmons or if Fardy gets hurt. I like Ready but he could probably use another year in super rugby before representation, but not behind Moore who is returning to the Reds. Tuolon maybe?
Timbo (L)
Guest
Can you find room Morahan? He is big, fast, and has a wicked tactical boot. We would lose AAC or Izzy though, it's a tough call. I know it is too late but Debraczeni @ 10 would give some size and a long boot. He would be less likely to be monstered by the AB back row
Timbo (L)
Guest
MacMahon is nothing like Hooper, he actually knows what a ruck is. On Saturday I thought I saw Hooper go into a ruck and secure the ball. I was mistaken, it was AAC, Hooper was on the bottom flailing around like a fish on a dock.
Nicholas Bishop
Expert
Sounds as plausible as any other convo Harry - and twice as entertaining!
P2R2
Roar Rookie
why not...he's a 'proud man' - he just needed to front up ... he got his butt kicked - no shame in that... but to veil it with 'I didn't see this coming' - is a cop out...sorry
Harry Jones
Expert
NicBish. Please read this and tell me if it is accurate. You were probably there. http://www.theroar.com.au/2016/08/22/bledisloe-tapes-unofficial-transcript/