2016 AFL Brownlow Medal: Red carpet photos, best dresses

Love it or hate it, the red carpet is a big part of the Brownlow Medal these days as we all sit at home in our tracksuit pants and criticise the WAGs’ expensive gowns.

All the wash-up from the 2016 Brownlow Medal:
» Patrick Dangerfield wins the Brownlow
» Who got the most votes for your team?
» WATCH: Majak Daw wins mark of the year
» WATCH: Eddie Betts wins goal of the year
» Re-live the night with our live blog
» The full leaderboard
» Every vote

Fair warning – I’m a 25-year-old bloke whose philosophy on fashion is that whatever t-shirt is on top of the pile will do just fine.

So, if you’re looking for horribly uninformed red carpet commentary from the fashion-challenged, then you’re in the right place. I’ll still probably produce less clangers than BT on a Saturday night.

I’ll give every dress a rating out of ten, but really ladies (and lads), don’t worry, I’ve got no idea what I’m talking about and you’re all beautiful.

My dress ratings:

Geez Shannyn, what’s up with the long tail? Not a fan here. I’d trip over that in a second. Otherwise fine. Like the sleeves. 6/10.

Dani – a bit reflective for my taste. Going to get sick of people coming up to you and saying “I can see myself in your dress!”. 5/10.

My dress rating:

I feel like this is the kind of dress you make when you’ve only got a few scraps of fabric to sew together rather than build a full dress. C’mon Buddy, surely you can spare some of that ten million dollar contract. 5/10.

My dress ratings:

Couldn’t afford a full dress worth of that sparkly black material so Patty Cripps’ partner is wearing some sort of caravan shade cloth thing here on the front. 5/10.

Gaz might not be wearing a dress but you’ve got to love the little flower. 8/10.

Not sure what’s up with his partner’s dress though. There’s all kinds of tripping hazards going on there. At least she’s in club colours? Or one of them. 4/10.

Marc Murphy’s partner wearing a dress that says: “Bring back the baby blue clash jumper, Carlton!” I agree. 6/10.

My dress rating:

A bit of a tripping hazard here again. What is this fascination the ladies have with not having anyone be able to walk behind them normally? Still, not as bad as some others and don’t mind the fluffy puffy look. 6/10.

My dress rating:

Bevo’s a straightforward man and his partner’s a straightforward dresser. You could kill a man with those pointy heels. I like it. 9/10.

My dress rating:

Another tip hazard here. Whoever runs the OHS at this thing is having a mare. Like the dress material, like that it’s in club colours, but does the world of fashion really need cleavage windows? Not convinced it does. 6/10.

My dress ratings:

Even Joel Selwood reckons this whole trip hazard fad is ridiculous. Of course if he falls over at least he’ll probably get a free kick out of the deal. 7/10.

Danger’s partner has at least less of a trip hazard than the rest and a fairly straightforward dress. Is that a matching little purse? They should make dresses with pockets. That sounds easier to me. 7/10.

Not sure what’s going here with Robbie Gray’s partner. Like, I’m genuinely confused. 4/10.

Callan Ward looks slightly less like a Game of Thrones extra when he’s wearing a tux. His partner’s dress is nice enough but the colour makes it look like the red carpet is eating her alive. 6/10.

My dress rating:

If there’s a dress in this photo I can’t see it. Fyfe too charismatic. 10/10.