Have you got what it takes to become a selector?

As with any upcoming Test tour, there has been anticipation, conjecture and subsequent dismay over the men doomed to experience defeat in India.

No doubt you have trawled through all of the blogs, articles, press conferences and Cricinfo profiles in the build up, settling upon what you believe is the only logical touring squad. Needless to say, your expectations have not been met.

If this sounds like you right now, it may be that you have what it takes to be a national selector. Remember, as Brett Geeves will attest, being a good cricketer does not necessarily mean that you have a great cricket brain. And, if you apply the inverse of that logic, if you have never been a good cricketer, you are no doubt a fantastic selector (in fact, you may never have played a game in your life).

Below are some of the telltale signs that you are indeed the right person for the job.

You are disillusioned with the current selectors
Everybody knows that if you are in fact a good candidate, you must vehemently oppose the current selectors. Your default position on any decision made by Trevor Hohns and co is disapproval. For example:

“Why pick Hilton Cartwright? Why not ‘X’?” And subsequently;

“Why drop Hilton Cartwright? He is the right man to go fill the void at 6 and shoulder some of the bowling workload”

Whatever the selectors do, you believe the decision is inherently flawed.

You oppose anybody being selected by NSW
Obviously, the recent selections of the likes of Steve O’Keefe and Nic Maddinson have made your blood boil.

You have picked up on a little quirk that nobody else has noticed before and cannot wait to let the wider social media audience in on your discovery – that they only received their baggy greens because they play for New South Wales.

You refuse to concede that they have the best grade competition in the country and that many have to venture interstate to gain further opportunities at Sheffield Shield level.

You hypothesise over players from your home state and the lack of opportunities afforded to them. What about Callum Ferguson, Chadd Sayers, Michael Klinger and Chris Hartley? Would they have got a fair go if they donned the NSW Baggy Blue. No question. Such injustices would never happen under your watch.

Although you will never admit it, you were also strongly opposed to the selections of David Warner, Steve Smith, Josh Hazlewood, Mitchell Starc and Usman Khawaja (who initially plied his trade in NSW).

You have watched nearly every game of Big Bash
This may be obvious, but studying the form is imperative. Although you do not have the luxury of being able to watch Sheffield Shield fixtures on free-to-air television, you have managed to catch the Big Bash coverage most nights on Channel Ten. And with India on the horizon, you have formed your hypothetical squad on the empirical evidence before you.

Memories of Warner’s dismantling of South Africa in his debut international Twenty20 remain vivid, and you have rightfully noted that his Test success was built on the foundations of success in the short form. This is the blueprint to follow for all future selections.

The likes of Billy Stanlake, Adam Zampa, Ben McDermott, Ben Dunk and Chris Lynn have all been added to your Indian tour shortlist after impressing on a Monday night. You have also kept a keen eye on any young spinner that appears on you LG OLED, desperate to declare them the ‘next big thing’. If only Sunil Narine hailed from Sydney.

You have not forgotten the names that others have
It baffles you why both Tim Paine and Fawad Ahmed have been overlooked for the Test squad. After all, everybody knows that the Australian team is crying out for a capable wicketkeeper and a potent leg spinner.

You remembered their names feature in similar discussions in recent years and your mind has been made up. They were ‘must’ selections then and now. It doesn’t bother you that neither are playing for the Shield side right now (or you may have simply not noticed). Ahmed’s Big Bash form in particular has not gone unnoticed by you, further underlying your knack of picking the right men for the job.