A cricket tragic's guide to the offseason

For a cricket tragic, such as myself, April in Australia is a difficult time. The Australian summer has concluded, and we have all but recovered from the tidal wave of cricket, which Channel Nine can make feel like a personal affront that lasts the best part of four months.

Between Test matches, we watched local cricket, played cricket, and wished for more. We discussed, and we debated. We watched Shield cricket, played indoor cricket and mini cricket.

We also had to go to work, school or uni, but were never far away from a score update or highlights package. It was intense, it always is.

And then it all finishes.

But then comes the first away series following our home summer. It is like a smoker’s relapse. They quit for a while, but inevitably fall back into bad habits, and we followed with keen interest every sharp turning, fiercely bouncing off-break, and poorly used decision review in India this past month.

One of the most gripping series in recent memory, this was the hit of cricket we needed, as the days began to get shorter and colder, and we longed for a BBQ and some backyard competition.

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Of course, every four years we have an Ashes series to look forward to through June-July, usually the two hardest months of the year for tragics. We find ourselves with little to no sleep, having spent our evenings intently following the Dukes ball, and its master, James Anderson.

Instant coffee, Uber Eats and a promise of “just one more over”, are prevalent. But, being a tragic, you’ve never been good at keeping a promise of doing anything that could benefit your productivity, have you?

April marks the beginning of this time; either way it is going to be a struggle. You’d rather watch the Marsh brothers bat, together (!) than endure the next six cricket-free months. You do, of course, have a football team that you support, but this is merely a point of conversation for your golfing buddies (oh yeah, I forgot to mention, now that cricket is done, you find an equally frustrating sport to waste your weekend).

So you’ll try to get yourself interested and passionate in the AFL season, a fruitless effort, that’s more trouble than it’s worth.

So take heed, fellow tragics, it’s not going to be easy. Your golf swing will let you down, your football team will let you down, and you’ve got more work to catch up on than hours spent in the middle this season.

Get going, and I’ll see you in October.