On Saturday, August the 19th, a platoon of Australian Wallabies were cowardly ambushed by a group of New Zealand All Blacks.
The unaware Wallabies strolled onto the ANZ field at Homebush bay at around 8pm and almost immediately were set upon by 15 Kiwi warriors. A UN observer was present but did nothing to help the hapless Australians. Indeed, he seemed to encourage the Kiwis.
Devastation ensued. Some Wallabies, still in shock from this unwarranted attack, went MIA. Patrol captain Sergeant M Hooper tried to rally his troops but they just wouldn’t listen. He went over the top anyway but cut a lonely figure 50 metres inside the front line.
After about 40 minutes of fierce fighting by the Kiwis, they withdrew to reorganize their attack.
The Wallabies used this lull to fly in their commanding officer Colonel M Cheika. He brought with him some reinforcements and tried to formulate a counter attack.
The counter attack plan was to do exactly what was done in response to the earlier attacks. That was to fall back as far as possible and make long range attempts at breakouts, but don’t use long range bombs, just short range pop guns when resorting to artillery.
The Wallabies rallied gamely when hostilities resumed but for some reason, the reinforcements were held back until the battle was well and truly lost.
Some observers wonder why alarm bells weren’t sounded that an ambush was imminent when it was noticed that a bunch of New Zealanders were doing a war dance immediately prior to the attack.
When questioned after the battle, Sergeant Hooper said they had prepared very well for a battle with the New Zealanders, it was just they had been surprised by the ambush. Further more the troops are in good spirits and will be more aware next time around.
Colonel Cheika didn’t have much to say, but he did think it was disrespectful of the Kiwis to surprise us.
In Canberra, Prime Minister Turnbull and opposition leader Bill Shorten promised bipartisan support for a Royal Commission into the incident. They are also exploring what their options are for sanctions against Kiwis living in Australia, especially those gloating over the cowardly attack.
There has been no statement from the ARU headquarters bunker in St Leonards and none is expected for about two years.
Fittingly, the eight members of the Waratah battalion have been mentioned in dispatches and promotions are expected.
Unfortunately, some members of other battalions just didn’t hold up their positions and demotion or even court marshalls are probable.
It is believed that the Wallabies are planning a revenge attack in New Zealand in the very near future, but given the New Zealanders’ formidable group of spies in Australia they are probably already aware of this plan and will be waiting for the Wallabies, probably to ambush them again.
Rhys Bosley
Guest
I can definitely see Foley as the commander of the short range artillery, with his offsider Genia being prone to "blue on blue" engagents. The air wing ace Folau is very handy on bombing missions, but when he is supposed to be intercepting raiding Kiwis he can be prone to flying off in the wrong direction. Furthermore his wingman Beale is a supreme intruder but lacks the firepower to bring down an inbound Kiwi on the counter attack.
Rupert
Guest
Rarely Airborne After Four!
Isupport2teamstheAB'sandanyoneplayingAustralia
Guest
That was my point about your article... you've grasped the idea now you just need to apply it appropriately
Crash Ball2
Guest
Official ARU timeframe is 48 to 72 hours.
bigbaz
Roar Guru
Mate there are no 2nd prizes here, you should retire gracefully whilst you still have a shred of dignity.
Isupport2teamstheAB'sandanyoneplayingAustralia
Guest
No it's was spot on... it was a reference to your writing skills not at your ability to be a "best mate" .
bigbaz
Roar Guru
Mate, if your trying to insult me by calling me a meat worker you've missed the mark, some of my best mates ( something you wouldn't know about) are meat workers and I love their product.
bigbaz
Roar Guru
Bit like Singapore we'll have our guns trained on the desert.
Ex force fan
Guest
To my shame I am hoping for a massacre with both the AB and Boks putting 50+ on the ERU team with everyone demanding the head of the King (Clyne), his Earl (John Eales) and stooges (Pulver, Etc).
Timbo (L)
Roar Guru
I want to say more but words escape me, Genius piece Thinly veiled contempt wrapped in
champagnefizzy wine comedy. I'd love to see a followup piece on the Springbok sneak attack on Perth harbor. The enemy flew over the "Sea of Blue" in their A340's to attack the sleeping army. Nobody was there to wake them up and warn them as the near empty lookout towers had nothing but spies camouflaged in their green fatigues as the shallow harbor torpedoes specially designed.to circumvent a predictably ineffective land based defenses hit their marks.Isupport2teamstheAB'sandanyoneplayingAustralia
Guest
I hope this is this authors last article... I fear he's missed his calling, as a meatworker.
bigbaz
Roar Guru
Glad you enjoyed it. Cheers
Isupport2teamstheAB'sandanyoneplayingAustralia
Guest
So lame... so very very lame
taylorman
Roar Guru
Does look pretty accurate. Hopefully the Oz contingent fold as miserably as they should and we get a real ambush. With that and the Force fortunes at least we get no false illusion of whats ahead. Anyone seen Dunkirk?
Charlie Turner
Guest
Loved every word baz, well done!
Vic rugby
Guest
Great stuff???
DaniE
Roar Guru
Haha oh dear. Interestingly the tone of the Bledisloe Cup commercial on Foxtel, and the commercial for the documentary 'The Haka' (which is all about John Eales' existential angst after turning his back on the haka twice), is more a call to "come watch the All Blacks!", and less about the contest...
ThugbyFan
Guest
After the TOTAL F'up by the ARU over the Force sacking, I Loved the line "There has been no statement from the ARU headquarters bunker in St Leonards and none is expected for about two years." Sadly so appropriate.
Jacko
Guest
Haha a bit of a different theme to most of the other roar rugby articles at the moment.
Lano
Roar Guru
Good effort BB except when Hooper (incidentally still a probationary Lance-Corporal) "went over the top 50 metres inside the front line" he was in fact mostly wide of the action. He ran hard but failed to inspire or garner the troops. The Lance-Corporal remains on probation with one training wheel fitted.