The mysterious life and magic of Ned Hanigan

By Harry Jones / Expert

On June 11, 1967, little baby Michael Cheika was just a few months old. Australia beat New Zealand that day, in a Test match.

OK, it was rugby league, but still, Australians must take wins over the Kiwis any old way they can.

The score was 22-13, and the Aussies scored six tries. Two of them were scored by a guy named Les Hanigan.

The Sydney papers glowed over the handsome young Hanigan. They even called his two tries ‘handsome,’ and his runs ‘sparkling.’ They described the clean-cut Hanigan’s ‘swerves’ and side-steps, and called him stylish on the left wing.

Little baby Cheika couldn’t sleep well that night, June 11, 1967. His mother used an old Maronite secret to help him sleep. In heavily accented English, she read the newspaper to the sad infant.

And it was the sports page which gave him peace.

Her voice, saying ‘Hanigan… Hanigan… Hanigan’ gave him tranquility, and the fact that he beat New Zealand with his good looks and pace and clean-cut presence, stuck in little Mikey’s brain, to be resurrected years later.

Much of Cheika’s life was pre-ordained, as was explained in my prior essay about the SS Waratah.

And here is the remarkable secret as to why Ned Hanigan is the world’s most surprising Wallaby blindsider.

Ned’s Super Rugby career has been relatively short. This season, his first real one for the Waratahs, Ned amassed two yellow cards for being handsome, was pinged three times for being stylishly offside, swerved and stole one lineout, conceded eleven turnovers and won two, and made 22 dashing handling errors on his rakish 69 carries.

But it was his name that attracted Cheika. He chanted ‘Hanigan’ like a mantra of salvation. Deep in his memory’s archetype, he found solace in those three Celtic syllables, while he read hate mail, dismal statistics, and gloom.

To make himself feel scientific, he research Ned’s pedigree. Dubbo-born, Coonamble-raised. Cheika saw that the name Coonamble comes from ‘guna’ (feces) and ‘bil’ (a lot of). He liked that.

St Josephs, Goldstein, Randwick, NSW. Good, good, gooder.

And then the Holy Grail. Cheika felt (without confirming) that Ned was the grandson of Les.

“If it could be, it must be,” Cheika intoned, as he smoked a long tall cigarette from the Levant. “Yes, if something can be true, it must be true. Hanigan is my man. Hanigan is my plan.”

Enjoy Bledisloe 2 with one less mystery, Roarers!

The Crowd Says:

2018-08-24T05:49:36+00:00

Max Rawnsley

Guest


Hanigan is a very good rugby player and we miss him in the tight stuff recently

2017-08-28T23:13:08+00:00

Gary

Guest


Hannigan research says he played for the Manly club , but now you mention the Berries I can recall have him on a footy card in a Berries jumper ? Strange how your memory works heh . Not to be confused with the Branigan brothers - Ray and ???

2017-08-25T23:35:55+00:00

RobC

Roar Guru


Aussie media moguls invented viral, and spreading the common denominator. Many of them the lowest.

2017-08-25T22:20:50+00:00

Carlos the Argie

Roar Guru


It depends, caro amico. If you pronounce it the Italian way or the Anglo way.... I tend to think that it is pronounced like "my-legs-really-hurt".

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T20:52:52+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


How do you pronounce "Dolomites?" Is it like Doh-Loh-Mights? Or Do-Lo-Meet-As?"

2017-08-25T16:29:54+00:00

Carlos the Argie

Roar Guru


Ciao bambino Harry! Nice summary. I do object to the cigarette mention. I think it was a chukka or something like that. By the way, while I was away flogging myself on the bike I received a brief summary from my family in Oz. My brother went to the game and was crying inconsolably. My mom watched it on TV and told me that the NRC teams played better than the Wallabies. She knows best. Not many Saffas in the Dolomites or Italian Alps. But some truly wonderful wines from unusual grapes....

2017-08-25T15:40:30+00:00

Kabous

Roar Rookie


Gary, don't judge our Saffa rugby forums so quick, its not that bad. Only that we have an acquired sense of humour. See you had to have a certain breed of politician that will melt your humour, mould it into the shape and degree that nothing else but politics will make you laugh. We regard anything less as insignificant or meaningless. Like I said its an acquired thing and you probably wont understand. We think other countries politicians are entry level humour. Aus politics are dead boring. Here in SA we have reached ecstasy levels you poor people can only dream of.

2017-08-25T14:32:00+00:00

Hash House Harrier

Guest


The truth is out there agent Mulder.... HJ you may have just uncovered the truth- X-files looking into the weird selection patterns and strange behaviour of MC, it's not of this earth so who's really pulling the strings...??

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T14:14:29+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


That's amazing. On one night, the entire country of Australia was being lullabyed and good-nighted by the same sports article. Truly amazing. NOT HARD to believe.

2017-08-25T14:04:29+00:00

RobC

Roar Guru


Hazzzzzaaaaàáââaaaæáâāãàáàâãaaa!!!!!!!!! Hanigan initials is NH. He plays like a NH test player, which explains why many of them are ranked lower. NH may be also stand for Not Hard But he tries. I think he tries. But it's not just the coach who loves him: - It's also the commentators. - Well the Aussie ones anyway. - I think they were put to sleep using the same newspaper clippings.

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T12:32:12+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


RT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What continent are you in? What aquatic creature are you devouring? Which mermaid are you with?

2017-08-25T12:26:06+00:00

Rugby Tragic

Roar Rookie


That won't happen ... :) ... good stuff Harry ...

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T12:17:04+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


Dankiie

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T12:16:48+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


You are the SBW of Roar readers! Cross over, man!

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T12:16:15+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


cheers Joe B

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T12:15:50+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


Beyonce says that a lot

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T12:15:27+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


idiot savant

2017-08-25T11:54:36+00:00

Adsa

Guest


That is gold Harry

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T11:42:14+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


Great idea!

AUTHOR

2017-08-25T11:41:40+00:00

Harry Jones

Expert


Brilliant

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