The post-mortem on the Wallabies’ woeful end to the year against Scotland is dead to me. The knives have been driven deep, and deservedly so.
On the back of a long-awaited win over the All Blacks, the European tour had the potential to prove Australia’s swagger had returned. And all without Israel Folau and David Pocock.
But the Wallabies were outclassed by England and bullied at Murrayfield.
It caps a year in which the administration of the game – nationally as well as provincially – vied with the on-field performances from Australia’s Super Rugby teams and Wallabies to see who could leave the nation’s rugby fans the most exasperated.
In a video montage reflecting on Australian rugby in 2017, a decent chunk could be put to Benny Hill music. Or perhaps a moody Nick Cave composition.
Is there something that can give us a momentary boost? A quick, easily digestible pop tune that can make things seem not-so-bad at least for a little while? Something from Ed Sheeran or Bruno Mars?
Maurice Longbottom makes his debut for Australia’s Sevens team in the opening round of the World Series this weekend in Dubai. He might just be the pin-up pop star that Australian rugby can celebrate over the next few months.
His footwork is freakish and his jet-shoes make him a weapon in the short format.
Many rugby fanatics would’ve seen his try at the Munich Sevens in late September. It’s a cracker.
The commentator even has a dig at Russell Crowe as Longbottom used to play rugby league in the juniors for the South Sydney Rabbitohs.
It’s a good story.
Born and raised in Sydney’s La Perouse, he was asked by his cousin to head up to the Ella Sevens tournament in Coffs Harbour.
He killed it, being named player of the tournament and was swiftly on the radar of Australian coach Andy Friend.
Less than a year later, he got his first go in an Australian jersey and was carving up.
Longbottom was a huge reason why Australia won the Munich and Silicon Valley Sevens titles over the past couple of months.
Of course they’re weaker events than what he’ll face in the World Series – a lot of the top players from the dominant nations missed those two tournaments.
But Longbottom’s explosiveness and party tricks alone are enough to get rugby fans switching on in anticipation of him potentially making defenders look silly.
Jerry Tuwai, Carlin Isles, Perry Baker, Seabelo Senatla, Dan Norton and Cecil Afrika are a few of the more recent standouts in the World Series whose elusiveness and speed are eye-catching.
Australia also have a few other youngsters who are powerful and skilful. Lachlie Anderson, Tim Anstee and Simon Kennewell are raw but are on the right trajectory to make them consistent game-breakers.
Longbottom is one of the pocket rockets whose diminutive size means he’s unlikely to make the transition to top-level fifteen-a-side rugby – certainly not as a winger given how big and powerful the prototype has become.
(Photo by Alex Grimm/Bongarts/Getty Images)
One of rugby’s virtues is that any size or shape can get a gig somewhere. Given he was told he was too small to cut it in the NRL, it’s one worth acknowledging again for Longbottom, despite finding his niche in the seven-a-side format.
But he just might become that player that gets Australian rugby fans excited over the next few months. This season, Lukhan Tui and Jack Dempsey bruised at times. Marika Koroibete made his mark.
Jordan Uelese showed a glimpse of more to come. Sean McMahon was brilliant. Samu Kerevi came up short of expectations again.
But with the Sydney Sevens in late January, Longbottom is the type of young hot-stepper that will get Aussie rugby diehards talking.
By then the Wallabies’ woeful end to a forgettable year will be a distant memory.
Gepetto
Guest
Longbottom is apparently a try scoring sensation and it seems his Australian career will be limited [due to his size]. I think coaches should select players who score tries. Hunt, K. for example, does not score many tries. Will that do?
Peter
Guest
And the connection to this article is?
Peter
Guest
"Is often known..." Do you actually have evidence, or are you just another of the too-frequent snarks on this site?
terry tavita
Roar Rookie
i quite enjoyed the dubai sevens last night..sad hardly anybody/any writer on roar appreciates it..
DaniE
Roar Guru
I usually hate doing comparisons - but I'm reminded of Brendan Williams - and that's a good thing
Daveski
Guest
What a sad sack of roar readers this morning ! Great article Will, and you'd have to say the first two days of the new HSBC Series has highlighted what a potentially great season this could be for Aus 7s Rugby. The girls smashed it, trouncing the US in the final and the boys opened up with two big wins of Wales and Russia before pushing Fiji all the way. Longbottom showed a few nice touches and was used only sparingly and wisely at this point by Friend. Some interesting stories lines - the Blitzbokke have hit the ground running, Samoa look like being the big improvers, wake up calls for Canada and the US, and new core team Spain look like they'll give plenty of cheek. And meanwhile the Aussies with Holland back from injury and now Longbottom, to support unfairly maligned Chucky Stannard in the mid-field look very much like one of the top 3-4 teams.
Gepetto
Guest
Instead of picking try scoring sensation Ed Fidow, The Reds picked tired, old stagers Maranta and Hunt
Blue
Guest
Fantasy thoughts, he is a talent that will show flashes of brilliance. Too small and is often known to try the impossible that can be costly. No team can be built around that inconsistency. This article just shows what little there is for people to be interested in watching Rugby in Australia whilst run by the current inept RA Board and administration.
Terry Tavita
Guest
there was a little guy who used to turn out for wales not much bigger than hmaurice..shane williams was it?..pretty handy winger I might add...anyway thanks for the sevens write-up..getting sick of the constant articles about the wallabies..
rugger
Guest
The question is why is RA not able to unearth lots of talented indigenous players, islanders players and whoever else with ex-factor. Until now we have had Chucky Stannard who at best will never make Fiji 7s training squad let alone squad. Maybe RA is too busy looking in the wrong places and league has free rein for talent rugby players.
piru
Roar Rookie
About the same size as a small speed hump if you're Jonah
Perthstayer
Roar Rookie
Too right jeznez. How big was Mike Catt?
Rhys Bosley
Guest
"By then the Wallabies’ woeful end to a forgettable year will be a distant memory." Until next June when Ireland beat the Wallabies using the same sort of tactics that England and Scotland did. I'm afraid that after two post-World Cup years it should now be clear to the ARU that Cheika just isn't up to the job of rejuvenating this team. I would write an article on it but I can't be bothered, if it isn't apparent to those in charge then they have no place running the code either.
mania
Guest
france didnt hold their d line and he made them pay. in 15's a decent side would love getting their hands on him, especially the forwards whats he like on defence and whats his work ethic like without the ball? this drawing a long long bow
jeznez
Roar Guru
He is 4cm shorter and 12 kg lighter than Genia and we saw how the Scots manage to bust through him the other week. At least for now 7s might have to be his go. Although how he handles the defensive work when some of those monster Fijian runners go at him will be interesting to say the least.
Choco Muffin 911
Guest
Halfback?
adastra32
Guest
Well, I'm all for looking for the silver linings but.....a 7s player (excellent though he may be) as the Second Coming? It's clearly been a VERY tough year for Aus rugby...
bigbaz
Guest
Is he related to that huge Souths fullback from the 60s and 70s , Kevin Longbottom?